Page 52

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

GARRET

I spent the past hour trying to calm Jade down. I think I’ve convinced her what she saw was a drug deal that didn’t go as planned. I told her the burglar who was dealing drugs probably had his boss hiding in the bushes and something went wrong with the deal and he shot the two guys. It’s not like this doesn’t happen and it’s possible that’s what she saw. And I think Jade believes that now. I just can’t convince myself of it.

After I calmed her down, Jade was tired from all the stress so we went in the bedroom and I laid down with her. Now she’s asleep so I get up and go in the living room to call my dad.

“Hey, I need to tell you something,” I say when he answers. “Can you talk?”

“Yes. What is it?”

“Shit, I probably shouldn’t say this over the phone. I wasn’t even thinking of that when I called you.”

“I’m on a secure line.”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure if mine is secure.”

“They shouldn’t be tracing you anymore. Technically it’s against the rules. So go ahead.”

“Jade saw something today. Something she shouldn’t have seen.”

“Go on.”

“She went out a side exit on campus and it led to a parking lot where she saw two guys doing a drug deal. One of them was the burglar.”

“The one who robbed your neighbors?”

“Yeah. I guess they let him out of jail.”

“That’s not what my sources say.”

“Then your sources are shit because Jade’s sure it was him.”

“It’s possible they let him out last night or this morning. He must have got out on bail.”

“Who would pay his bail? I thought—”

“Just continue, Garret.”

“The burglar, the guy selling the drugs, got shot. And then the guy buying the drugs got shot and Jade doesn’t know who did it. She was hiding behind a building and she saw the guys fall to the ground but she didn’t hear any shots and she didn’t see who shot them. She tried to call the police but her phone couldn’t get a signal. She went back to campus and told one of the Camsburg cops that she heard some guys fighting and to check the parking lot. The cop made us go with him and when we got there, the bodies were gone.”

There’s silence on the other line.

“Dad, are you still there?”

He lets out a heavy sigh. “Yes.”

“Do you think it’s them?”

“I’d have to look into it. If they were involved in this, they’d have to be somehow connected to the burglar. Or the other man. Does Jade know who the other man was?”

“No, but she thinks he might be a grad student. Dad, you’ve gotta find out what’s going on here. Jade’s freaking out and so am I.”

“Listen, Garret. This didn’t involve you or Jade so you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.”

“But Jade saw what happened. So now it does involve us. If they saw her—”

“She wouldn’t be with you right now. She would’ve been taken care of at the scene.”

My chest tightens when I hear him say ‘taken care of’ because I know what that means. I’ve overheard my dad use those same words when talking about other people. People I don’t know. People who saw stuff they shouldn’t have and who my dad had to ‘take care of’ by order of the organization. I try to forget he does that stuff but then he says things like that and I’m forced to think about it.

“Garret, it’s quite possible that what Jade saw was simply a drug deal that didn’t go as planned. Maybe it involved gangs. Or organized crime. In either of those cases, it would make sense for the bodies to be taken and disposed of so that all evidence is destroyed.”

“I know, but you’ll still check on this, right? See if you can find anything out?”

“Yes. Of course. Try to get Jade to calm down. If whoever did this suspects Jade saw something, he might be watching her, and she’ll appear even more suspicious if she walks around looking fearful and anxious.”

“Yeah. I’ll talk to her.”

“You know, it’s not too late to move back here.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You and Jade might feel better living closer to home. You wouldn’t have to live in Connecticut. You could live in Boston. There are some excellent colleges there and you’d be much closer to—”

“Dad, no. We’re not moving. We just need to figure out what’s going on here. Like you said, maybe it’s not them. Maybe we’re just paranoid and making this into something it’s not.”

“Even so, I think you’d feel safer if you lived out here. You’ve never been this far from home before.”

“Yeah, I have. You sent me to boarding school in London.”

“That’s right.” His tone lightens. “You almost burned the place down. Cost me a fortune.”

“Sorry about that.” I laugh, then get serious again. “Dad, I’m not a kid anymore. I can’t run home whenever there’s a problem. I can handle being out here. And everything would be fine if I knew they weren’t going to bother us.”

“They won’t. I’ll make sure of it. Don’t worry about this. Just focus on school. And Jade. Let me worry about the rest.”

“I need to know if you find out anything.”

“Yes. I’ll keep you informed.”

“Okay. Call me soon.”

“I will. Goodbye, Garret.”

I feel a little better after talking to him. He’s right. There are a lot of bad people out there who have nothing to do with the organization. And they could’ve easily disposed of the bodies. Tossed them in the trunk of a car or the back of a van and been gone within a minute. As for the cell phone signal? They sell shit online to disrupt signals. Any criminal could access that equipment.

When Jade wakes up I tell her what my dad said. I tell her his theory that it could be a crime ring or other drug dealers and that he doubts it’s the organization. But it’s not completely true. I know my dad thinks there’s a strong possibility they’re involved, but he’s trying to downplay it until he knows for sure. He doesn’t want to worry me. And I don’t want to worry Jade. Like my dad said, she needs to play it cool and not act like she knows shit she shouldn’t know.

She seems more relaxed after we talk. But I’m not. I still don’t feel safe. I’m starting to think I never will.

The next few days I’m on high alert, paying extra attention to our surroundings and the people around us. But I don’t notice anything suspicious. Nobody seems to be following us and we haven’t had any strange phone calls or people hanging around our house or parked on our street.

The thing that concerns me is that I never heard anything on the news about those two guys being missing. Maybe nobody would care about the criminal, but the other guy? The grad student? I’m sure he has family or friends who are looking for him, but I didn’t hear anything about him on the news or on campus. There haven’t even been any missing person signs posted. It’s like the whole incident was covered up and people were silenced, which is exactly what the organization does.

But my dad did some investigating and he doesn’t think they’re involved. He didn’t tell me exactly what he did to find this out. I’m guessing he talked to some of the members and got information without actually saying why he needed it. He’s good at that. He can ask questions without the person realizing why he’s asking.

So I guess this didn’t have anything to do with the organization. It was just a random crime. But I still find the whole thing really strange.

* * *

Three weeks have passed and Jade’s been so busy she hasn’t had time to worry about the shooting. She’s completely consumed with school, to the point I’m starting to get concerned. She studies all the time and then says it’s still not enough.

I feel like we barely see each other anymore. I see Jade when we’re in the car riding to and from campus, then sometimes at lunch, and then when we’re in bed at night. That’s about it.

Jade’s been struggling to keep up with her classes and it’s totally stressing her out. The other day she yelled at me just for walking in the room when she was studying. She apologized to me later but I wasn’t mad at her about it. I know she didn’t mean to yell at me. She’s just really stressed and I’m worried about her. I’ve never seen her like this. She wasn’t this way last year.

She’s taking really hard classes and she has tougher competition here so her grades aren’t as perfect as she’d like them to be. I tried to tell her she doesn’t have to get all A’s but then she accused me of thinking she’s not smart enough to get A’s. That’s not what I meant but I didn’t argue with her. I have to be careful what I say around her now. Every little thing seems to set her off.

As for me, my classes are harder than the ones I had at Moorhurst, but unlike Jade, I don’t obsess over getting A’s. I’m fine with a mix of A’s and B’s and the occasional C. I strategically place my efforts on the classes and assignments I’ll get the most out of, or what interests me the most. For example, I’m interested in finance and entrepreneurship so I put a lot of effort into those classes. I have zero interest in accounting so I slack off a little in that class. I’ll never remember that stuff anyway. And when I have my own business someday, I’ll hire someone to do my accounting.

Jade doesn’t think that way. To her, every class is important, even if it’s not in her major. She’s taking an elective psych class and she’s already stressing about a paper that’s not due until November.

When we’re home, Jade’s constantly studying. We only have dinner together a couple times a week. Instead of eating a meal, she just snacks all night while she studies. Our sex life is suffering, too. I think she wants to do it, but she’s so tired from studying she falls asleep as soon as we get into bed.

I’ve been tired, too. In addition to classes, I have physical therapy three times a week. I usually have it noon to 1, which is why Jade and I haven’t been eating lunch together. And the therapist has me doing exercises in the pool and weight training at the gym. So it seems like I’m never home, and when I am home, I try to spend time with Jade but she tells me she can’t because she has to study.

Things can’t keep going on this way. I need to intervene somehow but I’m not sure what to do. Jade doesn’t want to go anywhere on the weekends, or go out for dinner during the week, or watch TV at night. She’s completely focused on school. She hasn’t even talked to Harper much.

A few weeks ago Harper emailed Jade the phone number of the friend she went to high school with who lives here now. Her name is Brook and Jade was supposed to call her but she hasn’t. She doesn’t think she has time for friends, although she is friends with Sara, but she usually only sees her at the coffee shop between classes.

Actually, Sara’s coming over tonight for a couple hours and bringing her baby along. Jade’s getting a short lesson in baby care because she agreed to babysit for Sara next week. Sara has a job interview at an architecture firm and she needs someone to watch Caleb. She’s interviewing for a secretary job that pays a lot more than the coffee shop. Jade really wants to help Sara out so she’s willing to give up her study time to babysit.

“She’s here,” Jade says as she looks out the window. “Are you still going to the gym?”

“Yes.” I kiss her cheek. “I just need to pack my gym bag and then I’ll go. I won’t bother you.”

“You’re not bothering me.” She rests her head on my shoulder and sighs. “I’m sorry. I promise we’ll spend more time together. I just have so much to do.”

She says this almost every day and then we never spend time together. I know she feels bad about how things have been the past few weeks but she’s not doing anything to change it.

The doorbell rings and Jade goes to answer it. Sara comes in with a baby carrier and a diaper bag. I go over and take the bag from her. “Hi, Sara.”

“Hey, Garret. You staying for the baby lesson?”

“No, I’m going to the gym.”

“I’m the one who needs the lesson,” Jade says to Sara.

“Well, thanks for doing this.”

“I’m happy to,” Jade says. “I know you want to get a better job.”

“I just hope I get it.” Sara takes Caleb out of his carrier. She sits down on the couch, placing him on her knee. “So this is Caleb.” She kisses his cheek. “Caleb, say hi to Jade and Garret and thank them for helping us out.”

He’s chewing on his fingers and rocking back and forth on her leg. Drool is dripping down his chin.

Sara notices the drool. “Can one of you hold him while I get a towel?”

Jade freezes. She’s never held a baby.

“I’ll take him.” I pick him up, holding him face out, one hand under his chubby legs and the other around his middle. I bounce him up and down. He takes his hand out of his mouth and starts to laugh, more drool dripping off his fingers onto the floor.

Sara quickly wipes it up. “Sorry about that.”

“Drool happens.” I smile at Sara. “I saw that on a bib one time.”

She laughs. “I’ve seen that bib. I should get it for him. He drools a lot because of the teething.”

Caleb keeps giggling as I bounce him while walking around the room.

Sara watches me. “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”

“I helped out when my sister was a baby.”

“I’ve never done it before,” Jade says. “I’ve never even been around babies.”

Sara turns to Jade. “You won’t have to watch him for very long so you don’t need to know too much.”

I bring Caleb over to Jade. “I have to get going so here you go.”

From the expression on Jade’s face, you’d think I was handing her a live hand grenade.

“Jade, just take him.” I hand him to her and she takes him, holding him out in front of her with his feet dangling.

“Set him on your hip,” Sara says. “And if he gets fussy just bounce him a little like Garret did.”

I go in the bedroom as Sara continues to give Jade instruction. I’m not sure Jade’s ready to babysit. She seems scared of the kid, although knowing Jade, she’s probably just afraid she’ll screw up and do something wrong.

As I’m packing my gym bag, I hear Caleb crying. That’s not good. It’ll make Jade even more nervous. I take my bag and go back out to the living room. The crying has stopped and Jade’s now sitting on the couch with Caleb on her legs, facing her. He’s laughing as she bounces him.

“See?” Sara says to Jade. “You’re a natural.”

“I think he’s just a good baby.” Jade seems more relaxed now.

“I’m heading out,” I tell her as I walk to the door.

“See ya later.” Jade doesn’t even look at me as she says it. Her attention’s all on the baby.

Jade won’t admit it, but I know she wants kids. She’s just afraid to have them. She thinks she’ll be a bad mom and I can’t seem to convince her otherwise. I keep reminding her that her mom was a drunk and addicted to pills and that’s why she acted that way. Jade knows this, but she’s still scared to death to have kids. And I don’t know how to help her. All I know is she needs to figure this out. Her fears are holding her back. And eventually they’ll hold us both back because we’ll never have the family I know we both want.

When I get to the gym, the weight room is packed. Everyone goes there at night which is why I usually avoid going at this time, but I wanted to give Jade and Sara some time alone.

The physical therapist gave me a series of exercises to strengthen my shoulder and I have to do them in a certain order. I go to the lat pull machine first. I have to move the pin way up to the 40-pound weight because I’m not supposed to use heavy weights. It’s so embarrassing. I notice a guy staring at me. I drop the lat pull and consider adding more weight, but I know that’s stupid. I’m trying to heal my shoulder, not make it worse.

“You hurt yourself?” The guy who was staring at me stands next to the lat machine.

“Yeah, I tore my shoulder up.”

He nods and motions to his leg. “I tore my knee up a little over a year ago. It’s still not 100%. You doing physical therapy?”

“For the next six months.”

“I did it for almost a year. And I still can’t play football.”

“You play any other sports?”

“No, just football. I had a scholarship to Ohio State but busted my knee during practice freshman year. There went my scholarship. I ended up going here because my uncle works in admissions.”

“So you’re a sophomore?”

“Yeah. Business major.”

“Where are you from?”

“Phoenix. My dad still lives there. My mom moved to LA after the divorce. Now she lives with some Hollywood writer.” He laughs. “Sorry, didn’t mean to give you my whole life story while you’re trying to work out.”

“That’s okay.” I hold my hand out. “I’m Garret.”

“Nate.” He shakes my hand. “I think you’re in my accounting class.”

“Yeah, I thought you looked familiar.”

“I’ll let you get back to the weights. Hey, if you’re not doing anything Saturday night, I’m having some guys over to watch the game. You’re welcome to come.”

“I don’t know. I think I have plans Saturday.”

“If you don’t, then just stop by. I’ll give you my address when I see you in class.”

Another guy comes up behind Nate. “Hey, I could use a spotter on the bench.”

“Dylan, this is Garret. He might come over and watch the game with us on Saturday.”

“Hey.” The guy nods at me. He’s too sweaty to shake hands. “Dylan Matthews. Nice to meet you.”

I step aside to let another guy use the lat machine. “That name sounds familiar. Did we meet already?”

“I don’t think so. I’m not a student here. I work in the marketing department.”

“Do you have a fiancé named Brook?”

Dylan gives me a strange look. “Yeah, how’d you know?”

“Her friend, Harper, is best friends with my wife.”

He smiles really wide. “So you’re the mysterious Garret. Brook keeps saying we need to meet you and . . . Jade? Is that your wife’s name?”

“Yeah. Jade and I used to go to Moorhurst with Harper. We transferred here this fall.”

“Brook said she’s called Jade and left messages but she didn’t get a call back. We figured you guys weren’t interested in meeting, which is totally fine. Don’t feel like you have to.”

“No, we want to get together. We just haven’t had time.”

“Don’t worry about it. Whenever you get time, just give us a call. If you’re coming over to watch the game on Saturday, maybe Jade and Brook could do something together.”

“I’ll check with Jade. She’s really buried in homework right now.”

Dylan jabs Nate. “What’s with you? You haven’t said anything this whole time.” Dylan looks at me. “Nate never shuts up. This is the longest he’s gone without talking.”

“You’re really married?” Nate asks me.

“Yeah.”

“You’ve made him speechless,” Dylan says. “He can’t imagine being married. It’s too grown up for him. Nate lives in a state of delayed adolescence. He lives on pizza and plays video games five hours a day.”

“Two hours,” Nate says. “Maybe three.”

“Let’s go.” He motions Nate to follow him. “See ya, Garret.”

They go to the bench press and I continue on the weight machines. Then I run on the treadmill. I shower at the gym to use up more time. I’m not sure how long Sara will be with Jade and I want to stay out of their way.

When I get back to the house, Sara is gone and Jade’s on the couch watching TV. Jade hasn’t watched TV in three weeks so this is strange.

“What are you doing?”

“Watching a movie. Come watch with me.”

I sit on the couch. She moves over and settles herself under my arm.

“No studying tonight?” I’m almost afraid to ask but I want to know what’s going on.

“I need a night off. I’m tired. I think it’s Caleb’s fault. He fell asleep and he looked all cozy and sleepy and it made me feel the same way.”

She’s in a way better mood than she was earlier. After hanging out with a baby. Very strange.

“So you like Caleb?”

“What’s not to like? He’s adorable.”

“You seemed a little nervous when he got here.”

“I’ve never held a baby before. I didn’t want to drop him.”

“He seemed to like you.”

“He did. And he really liked you. Did you see how much he laughed when you were holding him? Sara said she’s never seen him laugh like that.”

“I didn’t do anything special. I think he’s just a happy kid.”

Jade wraps her arm around my chest and looks up at me. “I liked seeing you with him.”

“Why?”

“You were just so good with him. It made me think—” She stops, and looks down.

“It made you think what, Jade? Finish what you were going to say.”

“It made me think of you and me and—”

“And what?”

She looks at me again. “Garret, could you see us with a baby? I mean, do you ever picture it?”

“Of course I do. You know I want that. Not like right now, but when we’re older.”

I can’t believe Jade’s saying this. I thought I’d come home from the gym and find her sitting at the kitchen table with her books spread out, yelling at me to be quiet. But instead we’re watching a movie and discussing kids. What the hell?

“I think about it, too.” She puts her head on my shoulder and looks down at my chest, her finger outlining one of the buttons on my polo shirt.

“What do you think about?”

“Sometimes in my head I see us with kids. Sometimes they’re babies and sometimes they’re older. I’ve had dreams about it, too.” She laughs. “I had this dream where you were teaching our daughter how to drive and you were being really patient but I could tell you just wanted to take over the wheel.”

I’m trying not to react and to just pretend this is something we talk about every day. But seriously, where is this coming from? She’s never once told me she’s imagined us with kids or had dreams about it.

“So you saw us with a daughter?” I ask her.

“For that dream, yes. It depends on the dream. I had a different dream where we had a son. He was in high school and you coached his football team. He looked just like you.”

“I hope he was a swimmer, too.”

“I woke up before I could find out, but I’m sure he was.”

This is so strange. Jade’s been dreaming about us having kids and she’s not freaking out? I’m not going to ask her any more about it. If she wants to say more, fine, but I don’t want to pressure her in any way.

She hugs my chest, keeping her head down. “I’m sorry for ignoring you the past few weeks. These classes I’m taking are tougher than I thought they’d be and I feel like I can’t keep up.”

And here’s another topic she refuses to talk about, so I’m a little surprised she’s bringing it up.

“You’re burning yourself out, Jade. You need to take some breaks.”

“I know, and I’m going to try to.”

“Hey, when I was at the gym I met that guy, Dylan, the one that Harper knows. Brook’s fiancé.”

“Oh, yeah? That’s weird. He’s not even a student. Why was he at the gym?”

“Staff and faculty of the college can use the gym, too. Anyway he said Brook called you a few times and you didn’t call her back.”

“I got busy and forgot.”

“Jade, you shouldn’t blow her off like that. If you don’t want to meet her, just tell her you’re busy.”

“I do want to meet her, just not right now.”

“Dylan and some of his friends are watching a football game Saturday night. They asked if I wanted to come over. Do you care if I go? I’d rather take you out on Saturday night but if you don’t want to then—”

“I have a calculus test on Tuesday so I need to study. You should go hang out with the guys.”

“Are you sure? Because I don’t have to go. I can stay here.”

“You’re going. Now let’s watch the movie.”

Jade falls asleep 10 minutes later. I carry her to bed and she’s so tired she doesn’t even wake up. It’s still early so I go back in the living room and watch TV.

I’m not sure what to make of Jade tonight. She sounded like she wanted kids, but was that just because she spent time with Caleb? I’m not getting my hopes up. But at least it’s a step in the right direction.