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CHAPTER FIFTY

GARRET

Around 7 Jade and I go back to the hospital to get my test results. Jade’s been really great about this whole thing. Ever since I told her about my shoulder, she hasn’t forced me to talk about it or lectured me about how I should’ve taken care of this last year. She’s just been there for me and I love her for that. It’s exactly what I need right now. When I’m ready to talk about it, I will. But I can’t until I know what’s going to happen.

I didn’t say much during dinner and I hardly touched my food. Jade talked a little about school and current events, trying to keep my mind off the test results. It was sweet of her to try, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t stop thinking about those tests and how the results could end my swimming career. I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t swim. Swimming is such a huge part of who I am and I can’t give it up.

We meet up with Dr. Cunningham back in the office we met him at earlier. I have to know the results, so as soon as he sits down I say, “Just tell me how bad it is. Bottom line. Can I swim again?”

He shakes his head. “Not at a competitive level, at least not this year. But if you follow the treatment plan this time, I think you might be able to compete next year.”

I sit back in my chair, relieved. I was holding Jade’s hand really tight, but I relax my hold and thread our fingers together.

“So what’s the treatment plan?”

The doctor opens up a folder and shows me a diagram of my shoulder and outlines the injured areas. The good news is that there isn’t any new damage. The problem is that the old damage never healed because I didn’t do what I was supposed to do to make it better.

“You’ll have physical therapy for at least six months and then we’ll reassess. I’m assigning you to a different physician and that’s who you’ll see going forward. He has ties to me but he’s not part of the clinic. He already knows about your case and he’ll be contacting you in the next week or so to check in. I’ll give you his information. If you have questions, you’ll need to call him, not me. He’ll also contact your swim coach and tell him the plan.”

“Does this plan involve any swimming?”

“Yes, you’ll be given exercises to do in the pool and the weight room. This will take some time and effort on your part if you really want to compete next year.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes. I’m just happy I don’t need surgery.”

“I wish I could speed up the healing but I’m not allowed to—you know, give you anything.”

He means he can’t give me the shot like I got last year. Whatever was in that shot speeds healing and it seemed to work, at least until I injured the tissue again with my aggressive workouts.

The shot isn’t available to the general public, which is what I’m part of now. I can no longer get the treatments offered by the clinic. I’m okay with that for myself, but I wish Jade could get their medical care. If she got sick someday, I’d want her to have the best possible care and the most innovative treatments, which is what she’d have if we still had access to the clinic. And if we had kids, I’d want them to have access, too. But it’s not possible. I just have to accept that.

We get all the information we need, then say goodbye to Cunningham and head home. I don’t talk much on the ride back but I feel a lot better than I did on the way to the hospital. At least now I have hope.

“So do you want to talk?” Jade asks when we get home. “I understand if you don’t, but I’d like you to.”

“We can talk.” I bring her in for a hug, kissing the top of her head. “You’ve been great through all this, Jade. It meant a lot to me that you let me deal with this on my own timeline. I wasn’t trying to shut you out, but I didn’t want to discuss it until I knew the outcome.”

“How do you feel about what he said?”

“Relieved. I thought for sure he’d say I could never compete again.” I pull her over to the couch to sit down. “I’m so damn stupid. If I’d just done what they told me to do last year I’d be competing this season.”

“You’re not stupid. I would’ve done the same thing. When I hurt my knee I kept trying to jog on it so I could get back to running. We’re both impatient when it comes to stuff like that.”

“We are, aren’t we?” I turn and face her on the couch. “Okay, so here’s the deal. Now that we know this about ourselves, we need to help each other out. When you get hurt or sick, I’ll make sure to keep you in line.”

“Keep me in line? What does that mean?”

“It’s a nice way of saying I’ll kick your ass if you don’t follow the doctor’s orders. And you do the same for me. Because if we don’t, we’ll both have useless, broken-down bodies by the time we’re 30.”

She laughs. “Okay, I can do that. I’ll even go to the pool with you when you do your workouts.” She moves closer and smiles. “I miss our pool time.”

“I do, too.” I kiss her.

She pushes me down on the couch and straddles me. “I was looking in your treatment plan and it said frequent sex is recommended for faster healing.”

I smile. “You said the same thing last year when you hurt your knee.”

“Then it must be a common treatment for injuries because it was definitely in your plan.”

“I didn’t even see that.”

“You didn’t read it close enough. But it’s in there. And since I have to force you to follow orders. . .” She leans down and kisses me as she undoes my belt.

I talk against her lips. “You gotta do what you gotta do.”

“I’m such a good wife.” She says it kiddingly, but it’s true.

She’s more than a good wife. She’s the best, in so many different ways. And today just proved that, once again. Jade knew how nervous and anxious I was. When we got those test results, my mind was all over the place. I could barely concentrate. At times I wasn’t even listening to the doctor. But Jade was fully absorbed in everything he had to say. When Cunningham went into detail about my treatment plan, she asked more questions than I did. She made the doctor explain everything and she even took notes. She wouldn’t let us leave there until she was sure we had all the information we needed. She could’ve just sat there, but instead she took over when I wasn’t able to. And I love her for that. It just shows how much she cares about me.

Later, as Jade and I are watching TV, my dad calls to see how the appointment went. I tell him the basics but then he starts asking me questions I can’t answer.

“You’ll have to ask my wife that stuff,” I say to him. “She’s taken over my health.”

She laughs as she takes the phone. “I have not. I just listened better than your son did.”

The two of them talk about me for a good 10 minutes and then she gives me the phone back.

“It sounds like she has your whole treatment plan memorized,” my dad says. “She takes good care of you. You’re lucky to have her.”

“I know I am.” I smile at Jade as she goes in the bedroom.

“Garret, I wanted to let you know I still haven’t been able to locate that police report for the robbery at your neighbor’s house.”

“Maybe you just couldn’t find it.”

“It’s a small police department and there isn’t a lot of crime in that town. It should be easy to find the report.”

“So what does this mean?”

“Nothing, at least not yet. It’s just unusual and I’d like to look into it some more.”

“Well, let me know what you find out.”

“I will. By the way, Lilly started school today and she wants to tell you about it. I know you’ve been busy, but can you give her a call tomorrow?”

“Shit, I totally forget she started today. Yes, I’ll definitely call her. How did her first day go?”

“I’m not sure yet. She was quiet when she came home. She didn’t tell me much. She said she wanted to talk to you about it.”

“Okay. I’ll call her. Bye, Dad.”

I go in the bedroom. Jade’s already asleep. It’s been a long day and she has class early tomorrow.

I get into bed. Her back is to me so I lean over her shoulder and whisper, “I love you. Thanks for taking care of me.”

Her eyes are closed, but I see her smiling. “I’ll always take care of you,” she whispers back. “I love you, remember?”

I move her hair back and kiss the side of her face and she rolls over into my arms and falls back to sleep.

* * *

When we get home from class on Friday, I call Lilly. I used to be able to call her on her cell phone but Katherine took it away because she doesn’t want me calling Lilly. Then I tried doing a video chat with Lilly but Katherine found out and took the computer away.

Things have gotten worse between Katherine and me ever since she and my dad broke up. She used to tolerate me because of him, but now she doesn’t need to so she’s being even bitchier than before. And since she has to pretend to be married to my dad, she’s still living at the house. My dad tries not to fight with her for Lilly’s sake, which means he avoids talking to Katherine at all. Talking just leads to fighting.

“Jade, I’m calling Lilly,” I yell into the bedroom.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.”

The phone rings several times and then I hear Katherine’s voice. “What do you need, Garret? Your father’s not home yet.”

“I need to talk to Lilly.”

“She’s busy. She has homework.”

“She’s only had school for two days and she’s in second grade. I highly doubt she has homework.”

“Goodbye, Garret.”

“Put her on the damn phone, Katherine!”

“You think you’ll get your way speaking to me that way?”

“She’s my sister. I have a right to talk to her.”

“And I’m her mother, which means I have the right to control who she speaks with.”

“Your husband, Lilly’s father , has asked me to speak with her. And you don’t want to piss off my father, do you? You know how he gets when he’s angry.”

She hesitates. “You get five minutes. That’s it.”

I hear her heels clicking on the tile. “Lilly, Garret would like to speak with you.”

“Garret?” It’s Lilly. She sounds excited.

“Hi, Lilly. How was school?”

“Can I talk to him alone?” Lilly asks her mom.

“You know that’s not allowed,” I hear Katherine say.

I want to reach through the phone and strangle her.

“Lilly, put your mom back on the phone.”

Katherine picks up again. “Four minutes, Garret.”

“I have video,” I say calmly.

“Video of what?” Katherine spits out.

“Of you. And you don’t even want to fucking know the damage I could do with these videos. I’ve been saving them for when I need them and I think now is a damn good time to bring them out of storage.”

It’s true. When I was 15, I was coming down the stairs one day and I heard Katherine talking to someone in the living room. I went in there and saw she was alone but on the phone. She had her back to me so she couldn’t see me. I stayed there and listened and figured out she was talking to her mom. Katherine was saying all this bad shit about her so-called rich friends, so I hid off to the side and got video of her saying all this stuff.

I continued to record these conversations until just last year, so I’ve got a lot of videos. The people she was gossiping about are rich, powerful, and well-known. If they found out she was saying these things about them, Katherine’s reputation would be destroyed. She’d never be invited to another dinner party or charity ball. She’d be kicked out of the country club. It would be her worst nightmare.

I’ve considered putting these videos online for the world to see, but then I changed my mind because I didn’t want to hurt my dad’s reputation or the company’s. But I don’t think it would if I was strategic about it. I’d have to go back and review the videos to see which ones would be most damaging to Katherine but have the least effect on my dad.

“I don’t believe you, Garret. I know how you lie to get your way.”

“No, Katherine. That’s what you do. So I guess I’ll release the first video to the press tomorrow. Or maybe tonight.”

“You have nothing.”

“You really want to call my bluff? Good. I can’t wait to see your face when you see the morning paper. I’ll tell Dad to make sure he gets a picture.”

There’s silence and then, “What do you want?”

“I just want to talk to Lilly. Alone. Without a time limit. And if that’s not acceptable to you, then get ready for some damage control. I’d suggest you lawyer-up.”

“You’re blackmailing me?”

“I’m a Kensington. What do you expect?”

“Lilly, take this and go to your room.” Her voice sounds distant as she hands Lilly the phone.

I hear Lilly running up the stairs and down to her room and the door closing behind her.

“So how’s everything going?” I ask her.

“I miss you, Garret.” She says this every time I call and she always sounds sad. It breaks my heart.

“I miss you, too.”

Jade comes running into the living room. I put the phone on speaker.

“Hi, Lilly,” Jade says.

“Hi,” she mumbles. It’s not her usual enthusiastic response.

“You don’t want to talk to Jade today?” I ask her.

“I don’t know. I guess it’s okay.”

Jade frowns.

“What’s wrong?” I ask Lilly. “Did you have a rough time at school?”

“I don’t like it. I got in trouble.”

“Why did you get in trouble?”

“Because I went to the bathroom.”

“Did you ask your teacher first?”

“No.”

“You have to ask the teacher first. You can’t just get up and leave.”

“Nobody told me that. I don’t like those rules.”

“I know, but school has lots of rules. I have rules at my school, too.”

“Do you have to ask the teacher if you can go to the bathroom?”

“Yes.” I smile at Jade. “And Jade does, too. It’s a rule for everyone.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Besides that, did you like your teacher?’

“Yes. She has blond hair and today she wore a pretty dress with flowers on it.”

“Did you make some friends?” Jade asks her.

“Nobody wants to be my friend. They already have friends.”

Jade gets closer to the phone. “It takes time to make friends. I haven’t made any friends at my school either.”

“Really?”

“Really. And today was my third day at school. You’ve only had two days. You need to give it more time. What about Jackie? I mean Jacqueline. Isn’t she your friend?”

“I guess she is, but I don’t really like her.”

Jade’s laughing and she motions me to talk.

“Then she’s probably not your friend. You should like your friends, Lilly.”

What am I saying? For most of my life, I didn’t like my friends. They were chosen for me. Knowing Katherine, it wouldn’t surprise me if she forced Lilly to be Jacqueline’s friend because of whatever connections her parents have that Katherine needs or wants.

“Jacqueline doesn’t like my dolls,” Lilly says. “She says they’re for kids. And she doesn’t like to swim because her hair gets wet.”

Jade’s giving me the thumbs down and shaking her head.

“Maybe you should find a different girl to hang out with,” I say.

“I like to play with Max.”

“Max? Is that her nickname?”

“Max is a boy. His name is Maxwell, but everyone calls him Max.”

I feel heat rising in my veins as I think of Lilly with some boy.

“Does he wear a bow tie?” Jade asks.

“Yeah. He has different colors. Today he wore a blue one.”

“You shouldn’t hang out with boys.” I say it a little too forcefully.

Jade shakes her head at me. “What he means is that you should find some girls to play with. Boys are messy and loud and they smell bad.”

“Garret doesn’t smell bad.”

“I don’t now , but I used to smell really bad.” I overemphasize the ‘really.’ “All boys do at your age. They don’t grow out of it until they’re my age. So stay far away from Max. And if he comes near you, spray him with air freshener.”

Jade’s laughing so hard she has to leave the room.

“I have to go,” Lilly says. “I hear Dad downstairs and I want to see him before I go to bed.”

“I’ll talk to you later. Call me whenever you want.”

“Okay, bye.”

“And stay away from Max.”

She already hung up.

I go in the bedroom. “What so funny?”

Jade’s sprawled out on the bed, laughing. “You. Talking to Lilly.”

“I had to say something to get her away from that kid. And you’re the one who told her that stuff about boys.”

“Spray him with air freshener?” Jade’s got tears in her eyes, she’s laughing so hard. “She’ll get kicked out of school if she does that.”

“Good. It’ll get her away from Max.” I lie on the bed, leaning against the headboard, my arms crossed over my chest.

Jade wipes her eyes and sits next to me. “Garret, Lilly’s only 7. She’s not interested in boys that way. She’s just friends with him.”

“Time’s have changed, Jade. Boys start going after girls much younger now.”

She laughs again. “You sound like an old man. We’re not that old. Times haven’t changed that much.”

“That kid, Max, needs to back off and stop making moves on my sister.”

“Seven-year-old boys don’t have moves.”

“ I had moves at that age. Shit, I had moves in kindergarten.”

Jade uncrosses my arms and hugs me, pressing her cheek against my chest. “If we have kids, and we have girls, is this how it’s going to be? You’re going to chase every boy away?”

My mind leaves Max and Lilly and all my focus turns to Jade. This is the first time she’s ever brought up kids. She usually won’t even talk about them. Sometimes I’ll make a comment about us having kids and she tenses up and gets really quiet. I know she said ‘if’ just now but even that is a huge step for her. It’s like she’s actually considering maybe having kids someday.

I really want that. I want us to have kids and I still want three of them. I don’t want them right now. We’re not ready for that. We need to get through college and have a few years to get our careers going, but after that I want to start a family. I was beginning to think Jade would never agree to it, but now I’m thinking maybe it’s a possibility. A distant possibility, but still a possibility.