Page 6 of Fathers of the Bride

“You know I’ve never asked,” Kelly said. “What kind of name is Raj? Did you make it up?”

“Really? I thought we talked about—maybe we didn’t. My name is actually Roger. Growing up, my sister had a speech impediment. She called me Raj, and then everyone else started doing it. I like it. I know I’m not what people expect, but—”

Having heard this story a hundred times, I changed the subject. “So, what kind of wedding are you planning?” I asked, acutely aware that it was going to hit me in the pocketbook. Hard.

I was paying half the expenses for the house on Finch Circle and half the cost of Raj’s Doheny condo. Life was expensive enough without—

“We’re thinking something small,” Kelly said. “Very small.”

I barely had time to breathe a sigh of relief when Avery said, “My parents’ aren’t going to be happy about that.”

“I told them small,” Kelly said. “I told them several times.”

“But you don’t speak Malibu yet. In Malibu small is anything under five hundred guests.”

“Avery, I don’t think I’ll ever speak Malibu.”

“And I don’t want you to,” he said, sweetly. “I will occasionally have to translate, though.”

I decided to play peacemaker and say, “Well, all I really want is to walk my little girl down the aisle.”

“Really, Andrew,” Raj said. “That’s so heteronormative.”

“I don’t care,” I said, fully aware that heteronormative was one of the worst things Raj ever said about anyone. “Kelly’s only getting married once.”

With a glance to Avery, she said, “Papa, I don’t know that there’s even going to be an aisle. And, of course, Daddy will be there too. The two of you might have to do it together. I’m not going to choose between you.”

“I know Daddy will be there. And I’m fine with it. Absolutely fine with it.”

“Good. Because I do really want you both to walk me down the aisle.Ifthere’s an aisle.”

This was awkward. I’d gone from paying for a wedding I couldn’t afford to having to take a walk with my ex. Of course, on the upside, it was very possible Miles would refuse to walk down the aisle with me. A delicious thought since that would make him the villain. Which would make a refreshing change.

“Did Daddy say horrible things about me at lunch?”

“I plead the fifth,” Kelly said, while Avery looked in the other direction.

“He did, didn’t he? Horrible things. When is he going to—”

“What did he serve?” Raj asked, interrupting me.

“Barbecue salad.”

“You’re kidding,” he exclaimed. “That’s so Ivy nineteen-ninety-six.” Which was literally before he was born. Or at least very nearly.

“There was a rumor going around they stole Miles’ recipe,” I pointed out.

“Papa, you started that rumor.”

Hmmmm, one of the things I didn’t like about having children was that after a certain age, around seven, they’re onto you.

“Of course, I started that rumor. I was his producer. It was my job.”

“I’m sure there’s more to being a producer than that,” Avery said, kindly. Clearly, he wanted to be on my good side. It was going to take a lot for him to get there. But I appreciated the effort.

“Well, I’m not a producer anymore. I’m a brand manager. And I have nearly two dozen clients.”

For about ten minutes we talked about my, mostly, nearly famous clients. I did a good deal of name dropping. Something I’m very, very good at. The waiter came back and we ordered dinner.