Page 59 of Fathers of the Bride

A man in a tuxedo and top hat (looking remarkably like the Monopoly logo) stopped me, and asked, “Excuse me, have you seen an elephant?”

“Elephant? I thought that was just a rumor.”

“That rumor eats two hundred pounds of hay a day. I’m Alfonso’s trainer.”

“And you’ve misplaced your elephant?” Of course, why he’d named him Alfonso would have been another good question.

“Yes, I—” I must have been looking at him judgmentally, because he said, “It’s easier than you’d think to lose an elephant. It’s a very big pier.”

I wanted to find out more, but I was suddenly accosted by Lissa and Pudge, both wearing brightly colored African tribal garb. The evening was getting stranger by the moment.

“Hello!” Pudge yelled into my ear. “We’ve been looking for you.”

“They wouldn’t let me in without an invitation.”

“Did you forget yours at home?”

“I never got one.”

“Really? But Raj told us he’d sent outallthe invitations—oh that little snake,” she said, smirking as though she was secretly pleased. Or at the very least, impressed. And why was Raj—

Crushing down my anger, I said, “This is quite an extravaganza.”

“It is, isn’t it?!” Lissa squealed. “It cost a fortune.”

“I guess you can afford it. I hear you own part of a bank—”

“Oh posh.” Pudge waved a dismissive hand. “People always think we’re in the one percent but that’s just not true. We barely make it into the two percent.”

With no idea what to say to that, I asked, “Have you seen Kelly and Avery?”

“They should be entering any minute. In fact, we should go check on them.”

Entering? What did that mean? For the second time, I let it slide. That was probably a mistake.

22

Andrew Lane

Bradley and Terrystood on a soapbox—well, not an actual soap box, those are made of cardboard these days—a wooden box the size of a small trunk. They must have gone to an antique store to buy it. There was barely room for the two of them. Still, Bradley raised his voice, saying, “Can I have your attention! The betrothed will be entering the party in just a moment.”

The crowd applauded.

“Terry—Avery’s first father—and I want to take this opportunity to thank you all for coming and supporting our son and his lovely fiancée as they prepare to spend their lives together. I’d also like to apologize. It looks like it’s going to be a pretty darn small wedding and you won’t all be able to attend.”

The crowd moaned in disappointment.

“Which is why we wanted to make tonight extra special. So, enjoy yourself, hit the bar pretty hard—it won’t break us. Oh—I think I see the bride and groom coming our way now.”

Everyone turned around and there, lumbering toward us was an elephant. He looked a bit on the scraggly side, with folds of dry, loose skin. Someone needed to feed him two or three hundred pounds of peanuts. On top, he carried a sort of basket contraption. Inside the basket were… Pudge and Lissa!

I glanced back at Bradley and Terry. They both wore shocked looks on their faces. This was not what they’d been expecting. They’d been expecting Kelly and Avery. But—well there was no way Kelly would ride an elephant. We took her to a petting zoo as a child and all she wanted to do was free the animals. They must have tried and failed to get her onto the poor beast. They’d intended that Kelly and Avery enter the party on an elephant. Didn’t happen. So, where was she?

I was looking around trying to find her, when Raj rushed over to me and said, “Say yes.”

“To what?” I asked.

“Just promise you’ll say yes.”