Page 18 of Fathers of the Bride

She’d refused to call him Uncle Lucas when she was five. I didn’t think she was about to start now.

“Is that what you’re going to wear?” she asked me.

“Yes, it is what I’m wearing.”

I looked good, very good, if I do say so myself. Kelly was still dressing for Africa. Which she really needed to stop. I was wearing Berluti loafers, Tom Ford khakis and a baby blue Brooks Brothers shirt. I may have appeared casual but was anything but. I believed in parenting by example.

Saying goodbye to Lucas, we hurried out of the house and into the garage. I offered to drive, but she insisted. I got into her decrepit, messy Volvo and resisted the temptation to take out a handkerchief and wipe the seat. As she pulled out of the driveway, I asked, “Where are we walking? Melrose? The Strip? Beverly Center? We should go to Neiman Marcus, you should think about registering there.”

“Daddy just sit back and relax.”

“You have to promise me, if Papa doesn’t behave, we’ll leave immediately.”

“He’s going to behave. And so are you.”

“You don’t need to worry about me. I always behave.”

It would have been nice if she’d agreed with me, but she kept quiet. At Sunset she turned east; the strip was quiet, so it was just as well we weren’t going to walk there. Andy was much more likely to behave in a crowd. Other people’s opinions always mattered to him.

Since I had an opening, I thought I’d pitch a few ideas about the wedding.

“So, I peeked around the Internet looking for wedding ideas, but everything this year is so, so trendy. And it’s the kind of trendy that will be out in about five minutes and you’ll have all these wedding pictures you don’t want to show a soul. I mean one magazine is saying that this year’s hot wedding colors are fuchsia and lime. That’s a hard no as far as I’m concerned.”

Kelly let out a disinterested sound, something like, “Um-hrmmm.”

I was pretty sure we were still going east on Sunset. Soon we’d be at Cahuenga or Highland. One or the other. Were we getting on the freeway?

I asked, “Are we going to the Glendale Galleria? Or Sherman Oaks? I don’t mind the valley. I’m not that kind of snob.”

But then, at a side street, we cut up to Franklin, I think, then continued west. Or east. One or the other. I was beginning to feel more like a kidnapping victim than a father.

“Where are we meeting Papa?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“I don’t like surprises.”

I waited for her to say something, but she didn’t. The silence was crushing. I just had to speak.

“I think we looked at houses over here,” I remembered. “When we bought the house on Finch Circle. I think we looked over here first. There were one or two I was really interested in, but Papa insisted on The Bird Streets. Though it’s technically, Hollywood Hills, it’s also the original Beverly Hills Adjacent. Of course, you know all that, don’t you?”

“Yes. You’ve brought it up before.”

“I wonder if we’d have been happier if we’d lived over here?” I asked, just as Kelly made an unexpected turn into Griffith Park. Immediately, I said, “This is not a walk. This is a hike. I’m not dressed for a hike.”

“Youlookjust fine, Daddy.”

“I know I look fine. I just have no intention of hiking in two thousand-dollar loafers.”

“Don’t you feel guilty paying that much for shoes?”

“Pay for them? Oh no, I was sent these when I was still on the air. They want celebrities to wear them so normal people feel jealous.”

“Well, if you didn’t pay for them, what’s the big deal?”

That was harsh. She really had no idea. Since I didn’t have a show anymore, people had stopped sending me free things. And the last free things I got were precious to me. Plus, I needed them to last. If I ruined them, I’d have to pay for the next pair, and I didn’t have two thousand dollars to spend on shoes.

We were able to park just a few car lengths down from the trailhead. Of course, there was parking. No one else wanted to be there. Looking around after I got out of the Volvo, I didn’t see Andy anywhere.