Page 105 of Fathers of the Bride

“Where do you want the dance floor?” he asked.

“Dance floor?” I asked in return. “That’s not arriving until tomorrow at 10 a.m.”

Why did this keep happening? Did I screw up the dates? God, I hoped not. I decided to not look too closely into it.

“Oh. Well, it’s early. Where do you want it?”

“I want it where that table is setup, but we have to have dinner on the table first. Can you come back in the morning and set up the floor?”

“No, we can’t do that. We’re here to set it up now.”

“And now is not when you’re supposed to be here.” It was on the tip of my tongue to begin screaming, but then Andy stepped forward and led the man aside. After a brief conversation, the guy in the onesie looked around Andy and said to me, “We’ll be back in the morning to set it up. Around eight.”

“Thank you.”

The guy left and Andy walked back over to me. I asked, “How much did that cost?”

“You don’t want to know.”

40

Andrew Lane

We were attemptingto gather everyone together so we could begin the rehearsal, when Raj sidled up to me.

“People are being very nice about our breakup. I mean, some people are saying you were way too old for me. But they said that about the proposal video too.” He shrugged. “I’ve gotten twenty marriage proposals. You got one. I can forward it to you, if you like.”

“No, thank you.”

“Are you sure? He sent a dick pic.”

I glared at him.

“All right. I just thought you should know.”

And then Miles was trying to get everyone’s attention. It wasn’t working. He said, “Excuse me,” a couple of times. Finally, I decided to help him out.

“HEY! LISTEN UP!”

That got everyone’s attention. Miles quickly thanked me and then began: “All right, we’re going to run though everything—”

“Louder,” the one and only groomsman called out.

“Sorry,” Miles said, then raised his voice. “We’re going to run through everything that will be happening tomorrow and then we can have dinner. So pay attention and let’s get through this.”

It wasn’t often that Miles was in charge like this. I was the one who’d coral everyone when we had our show. Of course, I had a script to work from. This was all in Miles’s head.

“Guests begin arriving at noon tomorrow. They’ll be having sparkling wine and hors d’oeuvres for an hour. The ceremony—”

“Mr. Kettering-Lane,” Martha said, raising her hand but not waiting to be called on. “Do you know what the hors d’oeuvres will be?”

Interrupting Miles’s flow didn’t seem like such great idea given the flush on his face, so I said, “Why don’t you let that be a surprise?”

Miles tried to continue, “The ceremony—"

“It’s just that I’m keto,” Martha said. “And I don’t know if there will be anything for me to eat.”

Miles was grinding his teeth. I hoped he wouldn’t break a crown. They’d been very expensive. He had every reason to be upset. Keto was basically the opposite of vegan. There was going to be very little for Martha to eat. But what did she want us to do? Order delivery?