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Chapter thirty-eight

Cecilia

The comfiest pillow award goes to… SJ!

~ One Week Later ~

It’s the morning of my wedding anniversary and I’m feeling pretty down. Actually, I’ve been feeling down since yesterday just knowing what today is.

I spent all of last night with my phone in my hands, debating if I should call Silas or not. I came close at least five times, but then talked myself out of it. I feel like a chicken shit.

Now that it’s morning, I’ve forced myself to shower and have some breakfast. Even though I only took a bite and couldn’t stomach more.

Morgan already texted, saying I should come up to the house and spend the day watching movies with her. But I’m not really in the mood to see anyone, so I haven’t answered her.

I’m just scraping out my plate into the trash when my phone starts to ring on the counter. I glance over and see the name ‘Big Guy’ with a heart beside it and a picture of Silas, Milo, and me in bed one morning as the background.

My heart stops and I hurry to put down the plate and fork in the sink. I pick up my phone with trembling hands and take a deep breath. I’m just about to accept the call when it disconnects, so I decide to wait for the voicemail before calling back.

But after five minutes of waiting, the voicemail never comes.

Feeling even worse than I did minutes ago, I put my phone back down and decide to continue binge-watching The Big Bang Theory that I started after receiving his letter. I’ve seen it at least four times already, but it never gets old.

I grab SJ from my bed and drag him to the couch, where I spread him out and lie on top of him with a cover as the TV show plays. I try not to think about the call; it was probably an accident, and he doesn’t even know he called me.

He probably doesn’t even realize what today is.. .

Voices by the pool pull my attention from the screen while I hit pause on the remote to hear who it is. It’s as I do it that I notice I’ve managed to watch thirteen episodes without getting up from my spot once.

I’m about to get up and look out the window when my door bursts open, and in comes Emma, quickly followed by Morgan and Aubrey.

“Oh my God! We’ve been trying to reach you for hours! What the hell have you been doing?” At that moment, Emma takes in my state of lying on top of SJ and turns to look at the TV, then back at me. “Well, that’s a little depressing...”

“Shut up, okay? It’s my anniversary, and I’m alone. Let me mourn in peace.”

She marches over and pushes my feet off the couch to take a seat. “Nope, not happening. Get up, this is important. Did you talk to Silas?”

“No, I haven’t.” I don’t tell them about the call from this morning because it’s just too depressing.

Her eyes widen. “So you don’t know.” I’m not sure if it’s a question or not.

I look at Morgan and Aubrey, and their expressions are a mix of emotions I can’t decipher. I turn back to Em to ask, “Know what?”

Emma just smiles at me but doesn’t say anything. Morgan does as she takes a step closer. “It’s not his.” It’s the only thing she says, which confuses me even more.

I’m guessing my expression gives my confusion away because a second later Emma grabs onto my forearm tightly. “The baby, Cece. It’s not his.”

My heart begins to pound violently in my ears, my throat constricts, and I suddenly feel dizzy. I place my hand on Emma’s lap, and my other reaches out to grab onto something, but there’s nothing there. Aubrey quickly steps up, kneeling in front of me and grabbing my hand.

“Oh God... this is not the reaction I was expecting. She’s getting pale. I’ll get her a glass of water,” Morgan says with her fingertips to her lips as she jumps into action to fetch me a much-needed glass of water.

“Wh-what? Are... are you sure? H-how do you know?” I’m stumbling over my words, trying to process what they just divulged.

Aubrey smiles and squeezes my hand. “I heard Greyson tell Clay that he and Silas had found out the baby wasn’t his.

That she was already pregnant before anything even happened.

I don’t know much more, but I messaged Morgan the minute I found out to see if she’d heard something.

I didn’t want to bring it up with you in case it wasn’t true. ”

“And I questioned Clay right away, and all he said was that it wasn’t his place to talk, and that Silas should be the one to say anything about the matter.

Which is my husband’s subtle way of confirming it.

So I called up Emma, and we all made our way over immediately to see if Sy had gotten in touch with you,” Morgan says as she passes me the glass.

I blink a couple of times, finally registering their words. “It’s not his?” It’s not supposed to come out as a question, but it does.

Morg places her hand on my knee and smiles tenderly. “No, sweetie. It’s not, she lied.”

“It’s not his.” This time I whisper the statement. “That’s why he called,” I’m mumbling to myself, trying to make sense of it all. And then it hits me like a brick wall to the face.

Oh my God, it’s not his baby. Silas isn’t having a kid with someone else.

I jump from the couch, nearly knocking over Aubrey and spilling my glass. “I... I have to go!”

I rush over to the kitchen table where I saw my car keys earlier. I pick them up and set down the glass of water, then hurry to the front door to slip on a pair of flats. I know I probably look like hell, but I need to know if it’s true. I need to hear it from him.

“That’s my girl! Go get your man!” Emma shouts as I practically rip the door from its hinges and run out.

I rush up the side of the house to the driveway and jump into my car. I don’t even take the time to buckle my seatbelt before starting the car and backing out of the parking lot and onto the street.

Three minutes later, I park in front of what would normally be my garage door and stop the car. I don’t even know if he’s home, and since I’m not in the garage, I can’t see if both his SUV and truck are there.

I take a deep breath, pull down the mirror, and check myself out quickly.

My hair is a bit tangled, but I manage to make it look decent by brushing my fingers through the curls.

I look down at my outfit next. I’m wearing a simple black camisole with no bra and gray yoga pants. Not ideal, but it will have to do.

I open the door and step out, then make my way to the front door.

I go to grab the knob out of habit but then pull back my hand and ring the doorbell.

There isn’t any noise inside, and I don’t hear Milo’s bark to let us know someone’s there.

I wait a few seconds, then ring again, but still there’s no answer.

“What do I do?” I say out loud, while looking around.

Finally, I decide I’ll wait it out a bit since he might be walking Milo. I didn’t think to bring my phone, which means I can’t even check the time or try to call him. So I do the only thing I can. I sit on the front steps and wait.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been waiting for, it feels like hours, but I’m sure it’s only been somewhere along twenty minutes. My butt is numb, and there’s an annoying wind that keeps twisting my hair up like a tornado.

I’m about to give up and go back to the pool house to retrieve my phone when I hear footsteps and what sounds like paws on the sidewalk. Then I hear Milo’s distinctive bark and his heavy panting, like when he tries to fight against his leash.

“Calm down, Milo. We’re almost there. What’s gotten into you?” His voice is slightly muffled with the wind and distance, but I can still make it out.

Milo starts to whine loudly, and the leash slaps against the pavement, I’m guessing Silas decided to let him run home. “Fine, go. Leave me all alone. It’s not like I’m not used to it.”

Shit, that comment breaks my heart and makes me feel a thousand times more guilty than I already do.

Within seconds, Milo comes into view, bolting straight up the pavement and practically jumping into my arms. I have time to come down the steps and kneel on the ground before he’s whining repeatedly in my ears, licking my face from one side to the other.

“Hey, buddy! Oh, my big boy! I’ve missed you so much, too!” I rub his fur up and down and hug him to me, kissing his head and nose, anywhere I can reach.

It takes Milo a good two minutes before he starts to calm down from his hyper state. It’s then I look up in search of his daddy.

I find Silas at the edge of the sidewalk, standing frozen in place just before the property line. I get to my feet, wiping off the saliva from my face, then swiping a hand over my black camisole and pants that are now covered in fur.

“Hi,” I say loud enough for him to hear as I tuck my hair behind my ear.

It takes him a moment, but he finally replies, “Hey.”

It’s weird, I was in such a hurry to come here, to talk to him. But now that we’re face-to-face, I have no idea what to say. He finally takes a few steps toward the house, and I take a few toward him. Until we meet halfway in the middle of the front yard.

His eyes bounce all over my face, like it’s the first time he’s seeing me, and he wants to memorize every little mark he sees. Just like he did the first day we met. We probably look strange to an outsider because I happen to be doing the same. Looking for any change in him.

His beard is longer than I’m used to seeing, not too much but about an inch thick all around. It’s different, but it still makes him look really sexy with a rougher, grumpier exterior. I like it.

For the most part, he still looks the same, except for his eyes. His eyes are missing that spark they used to hold that would make the green in them vibrant. I hate that I’m the one who caused him to lose that...

A big gust of wind chooses that moment to blow past us, sending my hair all over the place. I try to bat it out of the way, but it only seems to be making it worse. Suddenly, Silas’s hands are there too, trying to control the hair twister taking place.