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Chapter thirty-three

Silas

SHE TALKED… TO ME! *Hyperventilating into a bag*

~ The Next Day ~

I wake up for the first time in two weeks feeling a bit more like myself, a small smile gracing my lips as I look over at Minnie’s sleeping form beside me. It’s the first time that she’s slept through the night without whimpering in her sleep or spending hours awake staring at me.

Wanting to begin the day right, I head downstairs, let Milo out for his morning duties, and get started on breakfast. French crepes, her favorite.

I get into my element, setting down the plates, maple syrup, hazelnut spread, and sliced bananas on the opposite side of the island where the bar stools are. And soon after, I add a big stack of crepes to the mix, ready to be devoured.

I’ve just finished making our coffees when I hear my wife coming down the stairs. I turn with both mugs in hand, smiling when I see she got dressed this morning.

Instead of her usual baggy shirt and sweats that she’s been sporting for the last two weeks, she’s put on a pair of black yoga pants and a simple white t-shirt. The t-shirt would normally fit tightly over her body, but with the weight she’s lost, it’s a bit loose.

When she notices me checking her out, she looks down at her clothes, then offers me the tiniest smile in existence. But it was there, I saw it. The first smile since... progress.

“Hi.”

It’s so faint, barely audible, but my brain hears it and short-circuits at the sound of my beautiful wife’s voice. My hands give out and release the two coffee mugs.

One thankfully was still mostly over the counter, so it lands upright with a little over spill. The other isn’t as lucky and crashes to the floor, exploding into millions of pieces with hot coffee splattering everywhere.

I stare at Cecilia with huge eyes, blinking a couple of times, not fully registering the mess I’ve just made. She talked... she talked! TO ME!

I want to run up to her and kiss her, but I know that’s not the right thing to do. Baby steps. So instead, I just stand here like a complete idiot frozen in place.

She takes a tentative step my way and stops again. “Silas?” Oh God, I’m about to lose it. She said my name. I’ve missed hearing my name on her lips.

She takes another step, and I look down at her little bare feet about to touch coffee and finally snap out of it. I throw my hands out in front of me, palms facing her.

“No! Wait. Don’t come closer. Let me clean this up before you step on something.” I hurry off to grab the broom and a cloth to pick up the mess.

Once I’m done, she goes to the stool where her plate is and sits. I hurry to make a new coffee and set it down in front of her. She slips her hands around the mug and looks up into my eyes, stealing my breath away.

Life—it’s what I see when I look in her bright hazels. Life… finally.

“Hi,” I finally say back, voice thick with emotions. I clear my throat and try again. “Hey.” Yeah, not much better.

I sit down beside her and place a crepe on her plate, then push the spread, bananas, and maple syrup her way. I wait for her to finish making her plate before collecting them back and applying them to my dish next.

Shit, I’m nervous. My hands are clammy and shaking as I tighten my hold around the butter knife I’m holding, forcing it to calm down as I glare at it.

A chuckle sounds from beside me, and I turn to look at Cecilia, who has her hand up to her lips, trying to hide her amusement.

“Glad you’re enjoying my messy state,” I say with a chuckle of my own.

She smiles again, then looks down at her food like she’s trying to hide. We attack our breakfast, and the whole time my heart sings. She’s talking. She’s smiling. She’s laughing. She even got dressed and ate more than half her plate.

I’m amazed at the change that’s happened in one day. I want to shout it from the rooftop. But I’m afraid if I point it out too much, she’ll return to her closed-off-state and I don’t want that. I missed my Minnie so much that it was eating me alive.

“Thank you for breakfast, it was delicious.” Her voice is tiny as if she’s still unsure of herself.

“You don’t have to thank me, Minnie. You know I love cooking for you.”

I move my hand toward the one resting on her thigh but stop and place it on the countertop. I hate how one small movement completely dims my mood. I take a deep breath and look down at my empty plate.

Suddenly a slim hand settles on mine. Slowly, I turn to the hand, then look up to my wife. She looks pained. “Silas...” she says quietly. “I’m not trying to punish you. I just need some time... okay? Can you give me that?”

I look back down. “I deserve to be punished,” I whisper. Because it’s the truth, a truth I’ve hated admitting to myself. But I don’t deserve her forgiveness.

“As much as this hurts, I know you never meant for it to happen... everyone makes mistakes.” She squeezes my hand a little.

Why is she doing this? Why is she being so nice? I don’t deserve this. She should hate me. She should be yelling at me. Not forgiving me.

It’s not that I don’t want her forgiveness. I’m just afraid if she does move on from this too fast, she’ll come to regret it and hurt even more in the end. I need her to be sure of this, that she still wants this life with me.

“Not mistakes like this, Cecilia... it should never have happened. I should have stayed in my room like I wanted to and called you like I promised. I should have—” She cuts off my spiraling with the tip of her finger to my lips.

“Shh. Let’s forget that for now. I know we’ll need to talk about it at some point, but I’m not ready. I just want us to enjoy today... can we do that?”

“Yeah, anything you want. Just say it and I’ll make it happen,” I say a bit too eagerly.

She bites her lip like she used to always do when we first started dating. It’s her tell when she’s nervous. “What if we... did something together. Like get out of the house, maybe? Just nothing...”

“Nothing public. Yeah, I get it. It’s better to keep out of the public eye for now.”

She nods and looks at our hands that have now intertwined on their own. I miss this, I miss holding her hand. “I’d like that a lot. What did you have in mind?” I ask her with so much joy running through my veins that we’re finally getting somewhere.

I’m going to have to call up Coach and thank him. If it weren’t for his advice, I would have never thought to get her the pastries yesterday, and we might not be here having a conversation right now.

“I don’t know, I hadn’t really thought of it further than that.” She shrugs one shoulder.

“It’s okay, I’ll arrange something if you’ll let me?”

“I’d like that.” A genuine smile grows on her face, and next thing I know, I’m smiling, too.

This is good, I’m finally getting my wife back. I’m not stupid, I know it will take more work, but now I know we can truly fix this.

Later that evening when Cecilia asks where we’re going, I tell her about the reservation I have for us in New York near Central Park.

She’s a bit skeptical about going to a restaurant, but I assure her that we’ll be escorted by the back door and that I rented a private room just for us. It seems to ease her worries a bit.

As we get dressed, me in the walk-in and her in the bathroom with the door slightly ajar, I notice her slipping on the same dress she wore the very first day we met. So I quickly change my outfit and put on the same clothes I was wearing that day, too.

We both emerge at the same time and peer at one another, her in burgundy, me in navy blue. She smiles one of those real breathtaking smiles when she notices our outfit choices, but then it falters, and she looks upset while she stares down at her dress.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I start my journey over to her and stop an arm’s length away.

“It doesn’t fit anymore...” she says, looking miserable as she grabs the sides of the dress and shows where it should be more fitted.

I reach for her hand, lacing our fingers.

It’s the only place she’s allowed me to touch for now, and I won’t push my luck for more just yet.

I’ll wait until she’s ready. “It’s just weight, Minnie.

You’ll gain it back eventually.” I give her hand a reassuring squeeze and a smile.

“You’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. ”

Her cheeks turn rosy, and she looks away with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Are you ready to go?” I tug on our hands to get us to the door and finally out of the house, but she remains rooted in place.

“Are you sure about this?” She nibbles the side of her lip as she searches my eyes for confirmation. She’s anxious, I get it. She hasn’t left the house since the whole fiasco, and even if it’s been two weeks, the media is still all about it.

“Yes, the restaurant promised their full discretion for our reservation. And they stated we can get into our private room directly through a back entrance without having to pass other diners. No one will see us. It’s just you and me.”

As I finish my sentence, I realize the words I’ve just spoken may be too quick to say yet. It’s been our thing, and she might not be ready to hear it again.

She takes a big inhale through the nose and exhales slowly through the mouth while looking at my chest. When her eyes reach mine, I expect to see pain, but instead I’m greeted with fondness.

“You and me,” she repeats softly.

When we arrive at the restaurant and park in the back near the rear door, an employee is already there waiting for us. We’re then escorted through the kitchen and into the private room as planned. We sit down, and Cecilia lets me order for her like I did the day we met.

This isn’t originally the restaurant I had in mind this morning after she told me to plan our date. But Milano didn’t have private rooms, so I had to find another option. This place is similar in decor and food, but it’s a bit bigger than Milano’s and much more expensive.