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I rock back on my heels, not sure where to go from here. Clay picks up his bag and turns to leave, taking a few steps toward the exit, then stops but doesn’t turn around. “You wanna grab a beer or something? The girls are at the spa, we can go back to my place.”

My eyes widen at his invitation. I was hoping it would smooth things out between us, yes, but I didn’t expect this. “I don’t drink anymore, and it’s still morning.” It’s all I can think of saying.

“Fucking hell, Silas. I’m offering you a freaking olive branch! Take it or leave it, but it’s the only one you’re getting,” he says, shaking his head, then looking up at the ceiling like I’m exhausting him.

“Okay, yeah. I’m coming.” I hurry up and match his speed as we continue to walk out in silence.

“You really haven’t drunk since?” he asks after a while.

“Not one drop.”

He watches me from the side, assessing if I’m being honest. Which I am. “Hmm...” He pats me on the shoulders. “I’m proud of you.”

And somehow just that little comment takes some weight off my shoulder.

“Thanks.”

We get back to Clay’s place half an hour later, both in our own cars.

It feels weird being here with an invitation that doesn’t have anything to do with the team.

Clay and I haven’t hung out alone since New Year’s Eve, and I’m a little nervous to be here.

I know Cecilia won’t be there, but just being in her space makes my stomach turn to knots.

We head inside and Clay goes to the fridge straight away, grabbing us each a bottle of water. “So what’s the deal with the kid?” He takes a hefty gulp of water, eyeing me from the side .

“I’m not sure, she’s not saying anything.

All I know is that it’s really mine and the due date.

But that’s about it. She hasn’t asked for anything yet, hasn’t said her intentions.

Hell, I don’t even know if she’s keeping the kid or not.

My lawyer has been pressuring hers for answers, but it seems to be a waiting game. ”

“You think she’s in it for the money?”

I blow out a breath and scratch the top of my head. “Honestly, I have no clue. I thought so at first, but wouldn’t she already have mentioned a payout or something?”

“Possibly, but maybe it’s all part of her plan.

Why else would she go to the media about her pregnancy if she could have just found a way to get in touch with you directly?

Clearly, it has to be about money,” Clay says, pointing his bottle at me.

Shit, he has a point. I didn’t even think of that. “Anyway, when’s the kid due?”

“September 24th.” It’s hard to forget, I have it engraved in my mind. Around that day, my whole life will change forever.

“Damn, that’s like five months away. Do you know what it is?”

“No, not yet. She has an appointment next month to find out the sex of the baby. I’m still shocked I’m gonna be a dad.” I walk over to one of the bar stools along the kitchen island and notice a white oversized cardigan sweater hanging on the back of the second chair. A sweater I know all too well.

Without thinking, I pick it up and pass my thumb over the material. It’s soft, just like I remember. I remember us buying it together. I thought it looked ridiculous since it was at least three times her size. But then she put it on and looked so cozy and sexy in it, I had no choice but to buy it.

I bring it to my nose and take a deep inhale as I close my eyes.

Her sweet scent enters my nostrils and sends a shiver throughout my body.

I’m aware Clay is staring at me right now, I’m also aware how crazy I must look in this moment.

But I really don’t care. I’m obsessed with my girl, and I miss her.

“Shit, that’s fucking depressing to watch,” I hear him mutter from the counter where he’s leaned against by the fridge.

“Sue me, alright? I miss my wife.” I put the sweater back in its place and take a seat. “How is she doing? Like, really doing?”

“C’s better than she was the first weeks, that’s for sure.

She smiles now, although I can see through the bullshit.

She gets those sad eyes every time I give any affection to Morg.

And if your name is mentioned, her whole demeanor changes.

” He sighs. “She also listens to your messages every damn day while locked in her room. I’m pretty sure she has them recorded because I’ve heard the same messages often. ”

My eyes perk up, and hope blossoms in my chest at the mention of my phone calls. I didn’t know she listened to them.

Now for the question I’ve been avoiding even thinking about. “Has she mentioned anything about...” I can’t even bring myself to say it.

“You two?” He finishes for me.

“Yeah, and you know... where we stand?”

Clay nods, understanding what I’m asking.

“She hasn’t mentioned anything hinting to a divorce, but she also doesn’t really talk about it.

Not even with the girls, so it’s hard to tell.

” He shrugs. “Morgan did find her looking at rentals not long ago but claimed it was only to give us our space back, which I believe. I don’t think she actually wants to find a place to live on her own but feels guilty being in our space. ”

I nod while taking a sip of my water bottle, knowing that is something Minnie would do. She’s always cared so much about everyone’s comfort and well-being.

“Anyway, we found a way around the problem and are having the pool house renovated for her. It will give her a bit of independence and give my wife and I some much needed alone time. Morgan’s put me under a dry spell because she fears if C hears us, it could upset her.

” His expression turns sullen as he talks.

“Let’s just say, I paid quite a bit of extra money to get the renovations done quicker. ”

I chuckle at his comment because it’s totally something I’d expect him to do. At that moment his phone chimes. He retrieves his phone from his pocket and looks at the screen for a moment, then looks up my way. “The girls will be home soon.”

And that’s my cue. His not so subtly way of telling me I need to leave.

I sigh heavily and stand from the stool. “I guess I’ll get going, thanks for the water and the chat... don’t forget to give her the letter... please.” I know I sound desperate, but I need her to read it.

“I won’t. See you tomorrow.”

“Yup.” I wave a hand and head out of the house to my car.

Just as I get in, Cecilia pulls up beside me. Since I parked backwards, our driver’s side doors are lined up next to each other. She’s smiling while Morgan tells her something, but then her head turns my way and her smile falters, slowly fading.

We stare at each other for a few seconds, no one moving or saying anything.

My heart rate has climbed to what I’d imagine is unhealthy.

My palms are sweating against the steering wheel, but I’m frozen.

I can’t look away. I can’t do anything. She’s so beautiful.

I always knew she was, but it’s like my mind is just remembering how much.

Her hand closest to me leaves the steering wheel and comes up to the side of the door. Only her fingertips are showing through the window as she presses them against the glass. Like she’s trying to reach for me, to touch me.. .

I want to climb out my door and yank hers open. I want to take her into my arms and smell her and kiss her. I just want her.

But I can’t, I need to give her space. So instead, I look away, closing my eyes for a moment at how painful it is. Then I open them, put the car in drive, and leave.

I don’t look back. I don’t wave goodbye. I can’t, because if I do and see those sad eyes, I’ll lose it.

I just hope she’ll soon understand why I had to leave.