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“I was ready... I was ready to have a baby, and I was going to tell him that night... but then all hell broke loose, and it just feels like a big slap in the face from the universe. I think that’s what hurts the most..

. knowing she’s having everything I wanted…

” My voice cracks with those last few words.

“Maybe we just jumped into things too quickly. Everything has been so perfect since we met, I should have known it was too good to be true.” I try to reason with myself, but it just feels wrong.

“That’s nonsense, she doesn’t have everything you want.

She doesn’t have his love or his last name, and she never will.

All she has is a child, and if I know my son well, he’ll do everything to have custody of it,” Mira says with affirmation.

“You and Silas are soulmates, and I don’t doubt for a second that you’ll find your way back to each other.

The universe will find a way to correct its wrongs. ”

John returns with a platter of food and coffee, then takes a seat in the armchair next to me. I pick up my cup with both hands and think over what she said.

I know Silas and I are soulmates. I’ve known it from the start. But does that really mean we’ll end up together? That I don’t know.

“I hope you’re right.” I offer her a small smile, wishing I could have faith like she does.

We spend a couple of hours talking and catching up on all our lives, then I leave with a promise to come back. I’m happy I came here. I think it’s what I needed. It may not be my home, but it’s the closest thing to it at the moment.

SILAS

I leave Burkley’s place a couple of hours later, having enough of the celebration even if it’s still going on. I’m in no mood to celebrate. Seeing Cecilia so upset dampened my mood even more.

I leave with the intention of going home but end up grabbing Milo and heading over to my parents. I don’t feel like being alone in a big empty house right now.

When I arrive, I take Milo out and head to the door, letting us in. The minute I step through the door, I’m hit with something unexpected. Cecilia’s perfume. Without thinking, I march in and go through every room like a lunatic in desperate search of his wife.

I enter my old bedroom hoping to find her, but it’s empty. I’m standing at the foot of the bed when my mom comes up behind me. “Silas?”

I turn to her and sit on the bed. “She... she was here. I can smell her.”

“Oh, baby...” She sits beside me and wraps her short arm around my big frame.

I place my elbows on my knees and drop my head into my hands. “Oh God, Mom. I miss her so much...”

“I know you do, baby. So does she.”

I look up quickly in her direction. “She told you that?”

My mother smiles and nods. “Mhmm, she’s as heartbroken as you. She still loves you, Silas. It’s clear as day. It’s just hard for her to accept this outcome. But I think she will. Just give her time and the space she needs to come to that conclusion.”

“I know I need to give her space. I’m just scared that if I stop trying to get in contact with her, she’ll think I’m moving on.”

“She won’t, Silas. This break, or whatever you guys are calling it, has nothing to do with the love you have for one another.

You know that. She knows that. It’s about everything happening around you two.

” Her hand runs along my spine. “I’m not telling you to cut ties completely.

I’m just saying that if you give her that distance she asks for, it might be the push she needs to come back.

Just find a way to tell her why you’re cutting back but that it doesn’t change how you feel about her. ”

She’s right, I have to stop. I’ve called and messaged Cecilia every day since she left. I know she won’t pick up or reply, but I still do it. It’s the only way I feel close to her. I’m just afraid of what could happen if I stop.

What if she moves on? What if me taking a step back gives room to someone else? She’s perfect, any man would be stupid not to try his shot.

“How?” I ask, needing help to do this right.

She pats my thigh and smiles. “You’ll figure it out. If anyone knows Cecilia, it’s you.”

“You’re right.”

“How are you dealing with the whole baby thing? What are the lawyers saying?” my mom asks quietly after a moment, as if speaking of it may be a sin .

“The paternity test came back last week, I’m the father.

.. which means I’m going to be a dad. There hasn’t been much else with the lawyers.

She still isn’t coming forward with what she wants out of this, so it’s hard to proceed.

” I sigh. “We’ll have to settle on some sort of custody agreement, that’s for sure.

It’s my kid, I’m not gonna give it up simply because he or she doesn’t have the right mother.

” Talking about it pains me. The whole situation does.

“And how do you feel about that? Being a dad?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. Part of me is happy because I’ve been thinking a lot about having kids since I met Minnie. I’m excited to be a dad. But I hate how it’s happening, and I feel like shit wishing my kid didn’t exist...” Guilt instantly eats at me for admitting it.

“I’ve been trying to get myself ready for how much it’s going to change my life, mentally and physically.

I downloaded a pregnancy tracker on my phone to see the progress since I don’t want any direct contact with the mother.

The app and medical records through my lawyer are the only updates I get.

” If I had my way, I’d never have any contact with her, but I know that won’t be possible.

“It’s smart of you to prepare yourself in advance for the changes to come.

And it’s completely normal for you to have conflicted emotions about the whole situation, Silas.

What you’re going through is a lot, and it’s playing a lot with your personal life.

But things will get better. I have no doubt. The dark days won’t last forever.”

I go home with a sense of determination. My mom’s right, I need to give my wife more space to figure things out on her own. But I won’t back off without telling her exactly how I feel.

I’m wandering around the house, going from room to room. Looking for inspiration on a way to get through to Cecilia at the same time as giving her what she wants. It has to be something she can hold on to, something that can stay with her until she’s ready to come back to me.

I enter our home library and look at all her books still up on the shelves. I’m gliding my finger along the spine of each one when my eyes widen, and it finally hits me.

I know what I need to do.

~ Two Days Later ~

“Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?” I stop Clay on his way out after practice.

“I have nothing to say to you, Hayes.” He tries to sidestep me, but I grab his arm. He turns and glares at me instantly, lasers shooting out of his eyes.

“It will only be a second.”

His jaw works as he studies me, then drops his duffle bag to the ground. He steps aside so we’re out of the way from other people trying to get by. “Talk and make it quick.”

I reach into the side pocket of my bag and pull out a black envelope with Cecilia’s name on the front. Inside is a letter I wrote two days ago after visiting my mom. It might be cheesy, but I know how my wife feels about this particular gesture.

She once stated that love letters had to be one of the most romantic ways to show your love to someone. That flowers and gifts will end up dying or breaking, but a letter can last a lifetime if well preserved. So I did the only thing I could, I wrote her our very own love letter.

I hand it over to Clay, but he doesn’t take it. “Can you give this to her, it’s all I want. Then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“I’m not giving her that. She’s finally more stable, I won’t give her something to break her down all over again.” He goes to pick up his bag, but I kick it out of the way despite its weight.

He returns to his full height and balls his hands into fists. “Don’t test me right now, Silas.”

“Look, I’m not trying to start shit, the last thing I want is to cause her any more pain. I just need to give her this, that’s all. After that, I’m backing off and giving her space.” I pass my free hand through my hair, the words tasting like acid in my mouth.

“I get it, okay? You’re pissed at me. I fucked up, and I know I should have listened to you that night. Now my life is falling apart, and I’m losing everything that’s important to me. It’s something I’ll hate myself over for the rest of my life.” I sigh exhaustedly, flapping my arms at my sides.

“But Jesus, Clay. Put yourself in my shoes. If this were happening to you and Morgan, tell me you wouldn’t do everything in your power to win her back?

Would you seriously just back off and give up?

Or would you keep fighting until you had no more moves left?

” I watch as he works his jaw but still refuses to say anything .

“Because that’s what I’m doing, man. I’m fucking fighting. I love my wife more than anything in this world, and I’ll never let her go, even if she begs. It might be selfish of me, but it’s the truth.” I sense myself getting emotional in front of him, but I really couldn’t care less. I’m desperate.

All he does is look at me for a good minute.

I begin to sweat under his scrutiny, rubbing my hands on the side of my pants.

Come on, Clay. Take the damn envelope. I know I have other ways of getting it to her, but I was hoping that by going through him, he would see how hard I’m trying to fix things with Minnie.

Finally, after what feels like forever, he extends his hand and signals for me to pass the envelope. I hand it over and lift the strap of my duffle bag higher on my shoulder. “Thanks, I really appreciate it.”