Page 70 of Dirty Hearts

Today was the first time that I didn’t feel that envy as I watched my brother looking at his wife with that love. Because sitting next to his wife was my love.

I knew…

I knew I shouldn’t entertain such thoughts, but it was nice to dream a little.

“It’s nice to have them,” I said more to myself than in answer to Luc.

“Papa, can I have a tattoo for my birthday, like Uncle Claudius?” Raphael asked, drawing our attention back to him.

I shuffled him around, and he placed his little arms around my neck.

Luc chuckled. “Your Ma would kill me.”

“Hey, you weren’t specific though, little boss,” I intoned.

“What’s pacific?” He giggled in that seriously cute way kids did. “Is that an ocean?” The little man was nearly four, but damn did he have a brain on him.

“Yes, what I meant was you have to say which birthday. How about your Pa and I get you your first tattoo when you’re eighteen?”

Raphael frowned. “Eighteen? That’s so old I’ll need a walking stick.”

Luc and I burst out laughing.

Pa came back in with a tray of drinks. He stopped at Ava first and offered her a glass.

“Pet, your father showed me how to make this,” Pa said proudly. He looked like he was happy to have them here too.

“Really, oh wow. Is this his sangria?” Ava asked. Pa bowed his head in reverence. She took a sip and smiled wider. “That is amazing.”

“It’s as close as I could get.” Pa chuckled. “You know him, always blending cultures and flavors to create a masterpiece.”

“Thank you. I’ll tell him you said that.”

“I need some.” Amelia went to take some, but Pa pulled the tray back and gave her a different glass. She pouted and folded her arms.

“Your turn to drive.” Pa wagged his pointer at her, and he kind of reminded me of her father, Raphael. He’d had a habit of doing that too. “You and Luc aren’t going to do this to me again. Have me chauffeuring you two while you’re wasted, then babysitting.”

“Come on, Pa. She can have a little, right?” Luc argued with a guilty smirk on his face.

“No, she can have fruit juice.”

“Fine.” Amelia took the fruit juice.

Ava laughed and glanced across at me. From the look in her eyes I could tell that she was enjoying this, all of it. Hanging out with my family.

Her green eyes sparkled, and the slight rose color that filled her cheeks added to the vision of her.

Luc leaned closer when she looked away.

“We should do this more often.” Luc spoke in that low voice again. “Something to consider, right? You can’t tell me this doesn’t feel like it should always be like this.”

I looked to him and wished that I could lie and say that he was wrong. I couldn’t though.

I just couldn’t.

I wouldn’t be a fool and agree either.

This setting felt like we could be like this forever, but there were too many demons waiting to burst out of my closet.