Page 48 of Dirty Hearts

“Yes, St. Henry. Always right. Bet we’ll get to the gates of heaven, and you’ll stand there with your holier-than-thou self singing that fucking song while St. Peter kicks my ass to hell for my badness. Fuck you, all of you. Fuck off and die.”

Yep, I was wasted. He knew that too, but he looked hurt.

Without another word, he walked out and left me.

I drank until I fell asleep and woke up to someone clearing their throat.

Jesus Christ, it was Raphael. Instantly, I shot up out of my chair, bumping into the table and knocking the empty bottles to the ground. One of them smashed when it hit the concrete floor.

“Fucking clean it up and get yourself together!” He flinched.

My head spun and shit, I stumbled and lost my footing, falling flat on my ass like I wasn’t down in the dumps already.

Raphael stomped around to me, eyes wide and feral. I moved to get up, but he back handed me, sending me back to the ground.

His nostrils blazed. “Asshole, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Sorry, boss.”

“Sorry? The warehouse got hit last night. The thieves stole ten grand worth of metal. As far as I know, you should have been there. I sent you and Luc to look in on the place. Get your fucking self together and go take a bath. I want names, Claudius.”

“Yes, boss.” I stood up quickly trying to adjust and steady myself.

It was truly laughable. Raphael was tough, but I could have taken him down easily. I never would though. He was my father’s friend and like a father to me.

I moved to the door, but he called me back.

When I turned back to him, I noticed that his expression had somewhat softened.

“I spoke to Henry, and he told me what happened.”

I didn’t exactly feel comfortable talking about Ava to my boss. We didn’t talk about women. I barely did with my father because of the way my mother had abandoned us.

He just saw me with whoever I was with.

“You did the right thing.” He nodded. “Better to let her go. It takes more balls to allow someone you love to leave you than keep them from what they want.”

I observed him. He almost sounded like he was speaking from experience, but I’d never seen him with a woman or a family. I knew we kept our families out of business, but his life was like a sealed book.

“Thank you.” I nodded. I guess his advice was supposed to make me feel better. However, it didn’t.

I left and for the rest of that day, I couldn’t feel myself. It was day two of me not being with Ava, and by evening, I was ready to blow.

I nearly killed the guy Luc and I went to see to collect his substantially large debt to us. Then, when we went to the bar, I headed to get drinks. So many women flirted with me.Too many.If I wanted to, I could have easily got lost in them. But I drank and drank, getting pissed out of my mind. As I drank, I felt eyes on me.

When I looked around to see who the eyes belonged to, I found Marissa staring at me.

She was giving me that look… that predatory, fucking seductive look she always gave me when Ava wasn’t around.

I wouldn’t pretend I didn’t know what she wanted. All this time, I’d ignored it believing she’d get the message that I wasn’t interested and would never be.

She’d never come out and said anything or done anything. I just knew she wanted me.

Here she came, sauntering over to me oozing sass and sex appeal. I’d never seen her at this bar before.

“Claudius,” she cooed. Her smile widened, and it broke my heart.

She wore my Angel Doll’s face, but she wasn’t her. Everything about them to me was different. They might look the very same from the dimple in their left cheeks to the little mole at the edge of their chin, but the differences were as clear to me like night and day.