Page 13 of Dirty Hearts

“I stand my ground that it kind of is.” I laughed knowing it would annoy her.

That was how I explained everything. With food. Cooking, the love of my life. The only love that had never let me down, ever.

I was the very, very proud owner of Delizioso, a Michelin-starred restaurant that had been in my family for three generations. It all began as a deli my grandfather started. Pa took the place to the next level, then handed over sole control of the restaurant to me last year.

I guess I was the obvious candidate to take over, and people probably thought I’d just had it handed to me on a silver plate, but nothing was further from the truth.

My father was the primary owner, and he made me work hard for years to earn it.

He made me go through everything he did to be the award-winning chef he’d become, and better.

It took me a little over ten years to convince him that I was worthy, but not just that. My parents were the kind who pushed you to do good and accomplish your goals but only if the thing they were pushing you to get was what you truly wanted.

So, here I was. I owned the restaurant and ran it with Kelly as my business partner. We created all manner of recipes and menus.

We knew what clicked and what didn’t, so she should know that chemistry was not something that could come with time.

She knew I couldn’t be fooled into thinking so either, because I’d had chemistry before. The kind that was crazy, raw, and primal in its essence. The kind that couldn’t be controlled and blew out of proportion.

It wasn’t good, and it wasn’t bad either. It was just neither here nor there, and in my case, it would have been better if I’d never happened upon it.

Kelly snapped her fingers in front of my face and smiled. I’d zoned out again.

“Must you do that too?” She chuckled then straightened and gave me a pensive stare.

“What?”

“Get lost in your thoughts without me.” She shook her long black hair, and it fell to one side of her shoulders, contrasting with her pale skin. “I’m trying to savor these moments between us. That soon-to-be husband of mine is going to whisk me away for six months. I just want to make sure that my best girl is taken care of. Would be nice if she could bring a date to my wedding too. The kind of date that’s potential boyfriend material. Even better if he’s potential husband material.” She waved that spoon again and picked up a chocolate habanero chili.

“Trying to get me married off again.” I laughed. It wasn’t funny, not one bit, but sometimes in life laughing at our situation was the best a person could do.

“I can’t be blamed.” She put the chili back on the counter and rested the spoon down next to it. The look she gave me next heralded another discussion I didn’t want. “Ava, I’m going to give you some advice because I worry about you sometimes. Okay, maybe I worry about you a little more than sometimes. It’s more like most of the time. John was a nice guy, and nice guys don’t come around often, or a lot. Especially guys who tick the box in nine out of ten categories. You can’t keep turning them away.”

“I don’t,” I pouted.

“You can’t keep turning them away… because of the past.” She bit the inside of her lip and squinted at me.

Here it was. The discussion I didn’t want. My best friend saw straight through my lying ass and flimsy excuses.

“It’s not the past,” I lied.

“Yes, it is.” It was her turn to laugh at me now. “It’s the same every year. Did you actually see him this time? Would you even tell me?”

I stiffened, and my shoulders tensed. Not wanting to meet her gaze, I looked away to my desk and focused on the flashing computer screen.

“I tell you everything.”

“You think you do, but you don’t. It’s not healthy, Ava. Look at you. You’re beautiful. Seriously beautiful.”

I smirked and turned back to face her. “Yes, my friend who looks like a super model.” She actually did.

“Thank you, but you know what I mean. This isn’t about who looks the best. I’m saying that you don’t have to try hard to draw attention. You could have your pick of the bunch, so pick and stop finding fault.”

“Okay. I will stop finding fault. Can we drop this now?”

“After you answer the question. Did you see him?” She held my gaze.

Him…