Page 109 of Dirty Hearts

Then it was all taken away.

I went to Luc because when I got like this, it was only my brother who could truly calm me down and stop me from doing something stupid.

I knew Dante and Gio had been right to stop me from a suicide mission, but it felt like I’d let Goliath walk. He was there, right there in my line of sight, and I didn’t do anything.

Luc opened the door and ushered me into the kitchen. I’d called ahead so he knew I was coming.

“Do you want a beer?” he asked, looking me over. “You look like shit.”

“Best I don’t drink.” Especially since I was driving. One would be fine, but with the way I felt, I wouldn’t stop at one. Now was not the time to drown my sorrows in alcohol.

Luc sat on the high stool around the counter and ran a hand through his hair. He was the one who looked like shit.

“You look like you haven’t slept in days.” I smirked. Small talk was good right now because I felt like breathing fire.

“Raphael’s going through a weird phase of waking up in the night. I blame you for giving him that damn biker mice series, Jesus. I swear he’s going to be like you. Good thing I like motorcycles, or I’d be jealous.”

I might not have gotten to watch that series with my son, but it didn’t stop me from getting my nephew hooked on it.

“Nothing to be jealous of, brother. I’m the one who’s jealous.”

Luc frowned but looked me over with concern.

I glanced around the corner and saw the base of the stairs. Ava was upstairs. Hopefully asleep. I wished I could see her.

“How is she?”

“You want me to say she’s fine?”

“Is she fine?”

“No, of course not. You could have answered her calls, Claudius. The poor doll was going crazy thinking something happened to you. Good thing I know how much of an asshole you can be—”

“I’m breaking it off with her, Luc,” I cut in before he could continue chewing me out. “I was purposely not answering the phone. The less contact, the better. Makes it easier. She knows what’s going to happen.”

His frown deepened. “Are you sure she knows? She’s not acting like she does.And why?You love her. Obviously, you love her, or she wouldn’t be here.”

I’d already had this conversation with the guys, and I didn’t want to get into it again.

“Goliath’s back on the scene, Luc. I saw him today. He’s working with Barabbas and the Manellos. The thing that they’re here in Chicago for is some nukes. I plan to end him. Couldn’t do it today because we were outnumbered.”

Luc’s skin turned pale, and he ran a hand over the shadow of a beard on his cheeks. I’d probably told him more than I should have.

“Nukes,Claudius? That’s above you. It’s well above you.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” I knew, but not just today. I knew it seven years ago too. “The nukes are not my concern. He is.”

“So, you’ll just go after him guns blazing?”

“Lucian.” I brought my hands up to my head, paused in thought, then fixed my gaze on him. “When Amelia got taken, you had all of us. We had time to set up a crew. We got her back. The odds were there, but we knew we had a shot. When Marissa and Ava got taken… I had half an hour to get to the docks. It took me twenty minutes to get there, so I had ten to save them.” My breath hitched, and I found it hard to continue as I relived the terror of that day. That feeling of doom.Doomwas the best way to describe it. “Ten minutes, Luc. There was no time to call anyone, call for backup, call for help. There was just me. Marissa was just starting to get better. She relied on me to take care of her. I couldn’t. Even if I’d had another minute that day, I wouldn’t have been able to save her. I would never have gotten to her in time. Before all that, my son died. My life has been absolute shit, so don’t you dare be surprised that I want to get the head of this son of a bitch.”

He sighed and hung his head. When his gaze climbed back up to meet mine, his expression softened. “What’s the plan?”

I shook my head at him. “No. Whatever it is, and whenever I set out what I’m doing, you’re not in.”

“Fucking bastard. Don’t you dare tell me shit like that.”

“Luc, I’m boss now. You aren’t even my capo. And I’m pulling rank as the eldest.” I had to smile. I always did that to him. Since we were kids. I pulled rank as the eldest and somehow what I said was what we did. It kind of still worked, except on occasion when he managed to kick my ass.