Page 54 of Dirty Hearts

God…

First, she made sure that she said all the right things to me to get me gone, then that. Although I guess I couldn’t fully blame her for her encouragement to go to Europe. My heart had been set on going. She even gave me some great ideas that I was now fulfilling today.

Expanding. I’d taken Delizioso to the top, got it all Michelin-starred and featured in some notable magazines. Even without Claudius’ help I planned to make the chain nationwide. New York, LA, anywhere I could reach.

Those were my plans, and it was great.

Hearing this though, realizing that she’d played on my emotions and betrayed me in the worst way was something I couldn’t get past…

Hearing the truth made me feel like I was just part of her fucking game.

It had all just been a game to her. Everything she’d said to me that night had been part of her ulterior motive. All the things she’d said about Claudius part of it. She’d highlighted that he didn’t have a plan for us, and she’d even gone so far as to imply that a guy like him wouldn’t just sit around and wait for me.

My conversation with her had been an expression of my concerns, but it had been the perfect window to set the ball in motion

I stood up, hands shaking, and I didn’t think my heart had started beating yet.

Claudius stood too. I could feel his eyes on me, but I couldn’t look at him.

Not yet.

When I’d come home for Christmas that year, that was when I’d learned they were together.

No one had told me all that time. No one had given me a heads up. I’d just came home for Christmas, and that was what I got hit with. That and her telling me that they got together when I left. It just happened, and she hoped I wouldn’t be too upset. She’d also wanted to wait for me to get home to get married.

That was the story she’d sold me. She’d said she’d waited to tell me in person because she knew how much I loved Claudius. That was what she’d said to me. My response was to smile and shake it off. Act like it didn’t bother me. I’d acted like the six months of not speaking to him hadn’t killed me, and what was worse was, he’d looked happy with her. They’d looked happy.

I’d been home for a month, saw them get married, and when I went back to Europe, my heart was full.

She’d lost the baby two months later, and I flew back to be with her.

She was inconsolable. I was stationed in London then. Then months later, when I’d officially returned home, we both got taken by Goliath’s people and Marissa lost her life.

Horrible story. All of it. And here I was, torn. Torn between the grief I felt over what happened to her, and what she did to me to seduce my boyfriend.

She pretended to be me.

She’d actually dressed up, looked like me, said she was me, and she made sure she went to Claudius when he was drunk.

My sister had done that to me. My twin sister.

I turned around to face him. There was so much I wanted to say. I should at least say something. Anything more than the silence I exhibited.

My gaze fell to the floor, to the deep swirly patterns on the carpet.

“Ava.” Claudius broke the silence, and I looked back to him.

“I… don’t know what to say.” I brought my hands up to my cheeks and ran them over my head.

I beheld him before me, and I could see he wanted more of a reaction from me, but I honestly didn’t know what to say. Looking at him though, I realized something. He’d left out something crucial. He’d told me everything that happened in the past. But what of the present? Everything that happened post Marissa’s death.

He’d stayed away from me. The past was filled with so much pain. Why did he continue to allow me to believe all the lies and all the shit Marissa concocted?

“Why did you stay away?” That was it. That was the question on my mind. “You could have told me this before. Why wouldn’t you?”

That was the question of the moment, indeed.

“There’s too much. I did too much. Things there is no forgiveness for.”