Page 52 of Dirty Hearts

“You have some death wish going to my house, Marissa, or even looking for me.”

Good, she actually looked scared of me. Fucking good. Of course, I would never do anything to hurt her, but fuck it, I didn’t care if she thought I would or wouldn’t. This woman had dealt her blow on me, crippling me.

I knew if anyone was to take it down to the facts, they’d say Ava and I were broken up, so I didn’t cheat on her, but in my head, I did. In my head, I did because I wasn’t broken up with her. I wasn’t over her, and I’d spent the last month thinking of all the ways I could tell her what had happened.

“Can I talk to you, please? In private.” Her eyes darted to Luc, then back to me.

“Whatever you have to say, say it here. I’m not going anywhere with you.”

She pulled in a shallow breath, and I was shocked to shit when I saw a small tear run down her cheek. Something must have happened.

Luc tugged on my arm, and I twisted to look at him.

“Ease off, man, hear the doll out.” Luc was looking at her.

There was so much rage in me that I didn’t know how I was supposed to calm the fuck down to talk to her. But I’d do it.

I moved away, ahead of her, and she followed behind.

We went outside near the river and stood by the rails. This was perfectly private enough for me. A stone’s throw away from the bar.

“What is it? Is Ava okay?” It had actually just occurred to me that this could be about Ava.

“She’s okay. This isn’t about her. It’s me.”

“Marissa, I don’t know what to say to you right now. You messed everything up. You messed with me.” Damn her, I was ready to jump on a plane and go find Ava. I couldn’t do that with more guilt on my head.

“I’m pregnant,” she blurted, and I swore to God the world just stopped.

The rug of reality got swiped away from under my feet, and my breath stilled somewhere in the chasm of my heart.

“What?”

“I’m pregnant.”

I just stared at her. I just stared like I was watching this happen to someone else. Couldn’t be me.

Not me.

“It’s mine?” Stupid question. I doubted that if the baby wasn’t mine, she’d be here.

Baby. God.

This couldn’t be real.

The cold fear of the truth flushed over my body when she nodded.

“It’s yours, and I’m keeping it. I don’t care if you want nothing to do with us. I just wanted you to know.”

This was definitely a different Marissa to the person I knew. I truly thought she’d say something different to this.

“Please… don’t tell her what I did,” she added in a hushed voice. “Please don’t tell Ava, please.”

When I thought of how I would tell Ava what had happened, it was more the case of me telling her whatIdid. I would always feel guilty for not being able to tell them apart. Always. I guess, though, that when I told her, I couldn’t exactly do it without telling her what Marissa did.

“Why not? Why shouldn’t I tell her? I was stupid to fall for such a trick. Stupid and wasted. You knew I was drunk out of my mind.”

“Yes, I did. What I did was awful. I actually waited for you to get exactly like that before I made my move. It was… selfish and evil of me.”