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“ T hat’s the best you’ve slept in days.” I wake up to find Dev resting his head on his hand and watching me. I’m sore between my legs because of him, not them, and I’ve never felt better.

Now it’s time for him to keep his promise.

“You need to tell me what happened now, Dev.” I look up at him and see the disappointed look he makes as he sighs. He must have been hoping I’d forget.

“Millie, there are some things that you're just better off not knowing.” His heavy hand plays delicately with my hair.

“I disagree. We have to be honest with each other. You knew what you were risking when you went back to that whore house to speak to that girl again. And those questions you asked me about Corey hurting me? They made no sense. I know you heard something that day that scared you, and I want to know what it was.” I sit up and let him see that I’m being serious.

“I can’t.” He shakes his head, looking almost as broken as he was when he burst through the door and found me being raped.

“Dev, I think after all I’ve been through, it’s safe to say I can handle it.”

“Baby, you got some real good memories of Corey, I don’t wanna ruin ’em. Let this one go, for your own sake.” He kisses my forehead, trying to pacify me, but it only makes me more curious.

“Tell me,” I beg him. “It’s not good for you to keep things to yourself, and if you don’t tell me, my imagination is going to make it up anyway. I’ll just end up thinking the worst.”

“You won’t,” he tells me confidently, sitting up and looking up at the ceiling as if he’s torn.

“Dev, why did you move here from Nebraska? Corey always said it was because you wanted a fresh start. Was that girl something to do with what you left behind? You never talk about your past. Did you and her?—”

“Stop!” he yells, and I suddenly realize that I know nothing about where the man I’m in love with came from.

“I’d never met the girl before,” he tells me, looking guilty for raising his voice. “Millie, I don’t want you to worry about the past. We need to focus on our future, that's all that really matters.”

“Why would you think that Corey would have hurt me?” I lean forward and rest my head on his shoulders. “You knew how soft he was, he didn’t have a bad bone in his bod–”

“That’s what he wanted us to believe.” He quickly gets up out of bed and drags his hands through his hair. “But maybe I got it all wrong. I mean, the warning signs were all there, and I just…I ignored them. I put you in danger when I fuckin’ knew .” He scrubs his hand over his face in frustration.

“Dev?”

I rise up on my knees, hoping he’s going to share what he’s talking about.

“You sure you wanna know? Because let me tell you, Millie, I’d give anything in this world other than you, to be in the dark about it.” He’s got a deadly serious look on his face as he warns me.

“I want to know,” I assure him. Staring him in the eyes so he sees that I’m sure.

“Back when we were living in Nebraska, child services found out that I was the sole person responsible for Corey.” He starts to explain, looking haunted.

“I had a bad history; I’d done a few stretches in juvie while our mom was alive.

After she died, I stepped up and started thinking smarter.

There was no way I was letting my little brother go into the system, so I joined the club and moved us into a trailer on some barren land near the club compound. ”

I sit back and listen, wondering where this is going.

“Kate was the name of our support worker, and she was a good person. She saw that I was a little rough around the edges, but she knew how much I wanted to protect my brother. She helped us. She let a lotta things slide. The place was never as clean as it should have been, and Corey didn’t get as much help with his homework as the other kids at his school did, but she knew how much I loved him, and he was always fed and taken care of. ”

I nod to let him know I’m keeping up.

“Corey was eight when I became the club enforcer, and doing that took me away from him even more. I wanted to impress my president; make him sure he’d made the right decision, and in doing that, I missed a few meetings with Kate.

I didn’t think it was that big a deal, but when she turned up for the fourth meeting I’d missed and I was on a job for the club, things got serious.

She left me a message saying that she’d found Corey at home when he should have been at school.

She said she’d call back around later that night, and warned me that her boss was getting at her.

If I didn’t show up, she was gonna have to make other arrangements for Corey’s care.

” Dev shakes his head. “I was outta service, burying two good-for-nothing cunts in the ass-end of nowhere. I didn’t get her message until I got back to the club, by then it was too late. ” Dev’s eyes fill with tears.

“They took him away?” I can’t remember Corey ever mentioning going through that, and I guess it makes sense why they left. Dev would never have let someone take Corey from him.

“I rushed home as soon as I heard the message, and I could smell the smoke as soon as I pulled down the dirt track.” His eyes go distant as he recalls what happened next.

“I could see our trailer on fire. It was blazing, and Kate was trapped inside, screaming for help. Corey was just standing there, watching her claw at the window, trying to get out. His face was so cold and blank. He didn’t look scared or concerned.

” He still looks concerned by his brother’s reaction.

“ I tried the door, but it was locked. I could hear the pain she was in; she was begging me to save her, and I tried…I tried so fuckin’ hard .

I managed to kick the door open, but it made the fire worse.

I couldn’t get to her.” I watch him chew on his fist as he relives it.

“Somehow, Kate crawled her way to the door, and I managed to drag her out, but she was…She was dying, Mill. She had barely any flesh left on her face. I could see the bones in her arms. She was never gonna survive, even if I called an ambulance. So I did the only thing I could do for her, and stopped the pain.” He uses the back of his hand to dry his eyes. “I hadn’t ever killed a woman before.”

“Dev, I’m so sorry.” I can see now how much all this has affected him.

“Corey just stared at her body with no emotion, and then I saw the key to the trailer in his hand.”

“ What? ” I slam my hand over my mouth.

“I asked him what happened, and he told me that she’d tried to take him away from me,” Dev finishes, and I can see that burying his past has shattered him.

“Are you saying Corey did that to her?”

“I blamed myself. I should have been there. I told myself that he was just a scared little boy. I had to think fast. Child services would have known she had an appointment with us that day. So, I put her body in her car and drove it off a cliff, then set fire to it so it looked like there’d been an accident.

I spoke to the club, requested a transfer, and got us the fuck outta Nebraska,” he explains.

“And all this time you kept that to yourself?”

“Saint and Sinner know, they insisted on coming with me. I brought Corey here for a new start. I thought what happened was done outta desperation. We never spoke of it again. Just acted as if it hadn’t happened, but I never forgot how unaffected he was by it all.

That's why I was never gonna risk letting him join the club. I was scared that doing what we do would trigger him. We do bad things, Millie, but we don’t kill innocent people. ”

“I know that.” I stand up and go to him, wrapping my arms around his middle and holding him tight.

“I thought it was just a one-off thing he’d done because he was young and didn’t know better.

” Dev pulls away.“But that girl at the strip club told me the reasons why he visited her. He liked to hurt her. She said he had a dark side no one else knew about. And straight away, I saw that cold-hearted kid who was watching that woman burn. I knew, Millie, and I chose to ignore it. That put you in danger, too.”

“Corey never hurt me, I promise. He was always kind and gentle. That’s why I didn’t understand why you’d asked those questions.

” I try to reassure him. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened to Kate, or for what happened to that girl at the strip club.

You loved your brother, and you wanted to see the best in him. ”

“I should have raised him better. Everyone keeps telling me that he wanted to be just like me. Is that what he thought I was?” Dev looks at me as if the thought tortures him.

“We’ll never know what he was thinking, but you loved him and you always tried to do what was best for him. You can’t carry the guilt of what he did.”

“I don’t want you to hate him, I want you to remember that kind boy who made you smile.” He reaches up his hand to stroke my face. “He really did love you, Mill,” he promises.“But I love you more.”

The last few words he says have me looking up at him, open-mouthed.

“You’ve never said that before,” I tell him.

“Well, I’m saying it now, and I ain’t feeling guilty about it no more.

I love you. Hell, I’ve tried not to, but you made it damn impossible.

Corey might have loved you, but what I feel for you is different.

If you asked me to pick you or the club, it would always be you,” he assures me.

“That’s why I wanted you to give him the ultimatum.

I was so sure he was gonna pick you. I wanted to save you both. ”

“I love you, too. Which is why I’d never let you make that choice. You belong at the club, and I feel like I belong there, too, now.”

“Course, ya do, you're my old lady,” Dev reminds me with a smile before he kisses me, and I decide not to ask him what he knows about my father. We can save that for another day.

Three Weeks Later

“You know I’m going to be the size of this clubhouse if you keep feeding me like this.” Alicia smiles up at Greaser after he hands her a fresh pretzel.

“I rode past the beach front and saw that cart you like, so I stopped off to get you one.” He makes out that it’s no big deal before he walks away, but we can all see how much he enjoys taking care of her.

“Vike looks like he’s about to blow a vein over there,” Lettie points out, nodding her head over to the table where Vike is sitting with Saint and Sasquatch. “Jealousy looks hot on him.” She laughs.

“Vike isn’t jealous, he just isn’t Greaser’s biggest fan, that's all.” Alicia rests back and picks off some of her pretzel.

“Come on, you're not stupid, Vike is obviously jealous,” Peyton tells her.

“I can guarantee you that's not the case.” Alicia refuses to believe it.

“And how can you be so sure?” I ask. It turns out that hanging out with the girls these past few weeks has been just the therapy I’ve needed.

I spoke to them a few days after everything happened.

I cried and let them comfort me, then I asked that they treat me no differently.

I want to move on and forget. Dev hasn’t spoken to me about what he did to the men who hurt me, but I know they would have suffered.

“Because I may have accidentally kissed him a little while ago.” Alicia's confession interrupts my thoughts as her cheeks flush pink, and she refuses to look anyone in the eye.

“You did what? ” Freya gasps,

“Relax, it was no big deal. I got a little swept up in the moment and kissed him, but he made it very clear that what we have is nothing more than friendship.” She pouts sadly and continues to eat.

“I don’t know…I see the way he looks at you, and this whole Greaser thing is clearly pissing him off,” Eden adds her thoughts. “Maybe the kiss just took him by surprise.”

“It petrified him. It was mortifying.” Alicia hides her face in her hands.

“Do you not feel anything for Greaser?” I ask her.

“He’s been very sweet, and I’m getting to see a different side of him.” She looks over to the bar where he’s standing, talking to Polly.

“You need a ride home?” We all look at Vike when he joins us at the table.

“I just got here.” Alicia looks surprised.

“Yeah, well, you look tired. Maybe you should go home, get some rest.” His eyes keep flicking over to Greaser, and I can’t believe that Alicia doesn’t see what's happening right under her nose.

“Well, thank you for the concern, but me and the girls have an afternoon on the beach planned.” She stands up and takes her pretzel with her as she moves out onto the balcony.

“Where's Dev today?” Peyton asks as we all get up to follow her out.

“He said he had something to take care of at the warehouse…” I answer her. “Come on, little man, you're coming with me. Momma needs to concentrate.”

Lettie smiles gratefully as I lift up little Rory and carry him outside with us. Leaving her to finish filling out her job application form. We all agreed to help her out if she gets a job; I can easily fit some time around my college schedule when I start in the fall.

“You think you and Dev will ever have kids?” Peyton asks, stroking Rory’s hair as we head down the stairs to join the others.

“I don’t know if kids are part of Dev’s plan. I’d like to think they are,” I admit, I’ve never really thought about it up to now, but the more I do, the more I smile. Dev would make a good dad. Despite what he believes, he did a good job of raising Corey.

“I’m sure you could convince him.” Peyton laughs, leaving me wondering as she takes Rory from my arms and rushes him across the sand to creep up on Freya.

I smile to myself before I join them, because despite all that's happened over the past few months, I can’t help feeling excited about what the future holds with my new, crazy, fucked up-family.