Page 49

I sit with my back against the bathroom door and listen to her crying in the shower. It feels as if someone has their hand inside my chest and is trying to tear my heart out.

It’s been two days since I found her on that yacht, and she’s spent every second since we got home trying to convince me that she’s okay.

She won’t let me see her naked; she refuses to cry unless she’s locked behind this damn door, and I have to pretend I don’t hear it because it’s how she’s choosing to cope.

I have two of the men who raped her waiting for me at the warehouse, but no fuckin’ clue where Quinnell is.

Raze tells me he’s been shunned by the Russians and has probably returned to Ireland, but I won’t risk my girl’s safety on something so uncertain.

I will get the truth outta the men we have captured, but they’ll just have to anticipate the things that are coming to them, while I try my best to put my girl back together.

I hear the water stop running and quickly stand up, heading toward the bed and sitting on the end of it while I wait for her to come out.

She eventually emerges, holding on tight to the towel that’s tucked around her chest and offering me that sad, broken smile as she heads toward the chest of drawers where all her clothes are now kept.

“Will you be going to the club today?” she asks, doing her best to sound cheery as she picks something out to wear. Peyton went with Raze to pick up some of her clothes when he went to visit her father yesterday. I still have to talk to the man myself, but all that can wait.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I look down and pick at one of the scabs on my hand while she awkwardly tries to dress without dropping her towel.

“You don’t have to hide yourself away from me, ya know.” My words come out all raspy and weak.

“Dev.” She slowly moves to stand in front of me. “I’m fine.”

“How can you be? You were raped, Millie. Not just by one man, but three.” Just saying the words makes me feel sick to my stomach. “Stop tryin’ to hide how much it hurts you. I can’t help you get better if you keep doing that.”

“You are helping me.” She takes my hand in hers and sounds as if she’s trying to reassure me. “I know how badly you want to go and hurt those men; maybe that’s what you need to do.”

“Millie, this ain’t about me. All I want is to make you feel safe. I don’t need you to protect me from what happened.” Deep down, we both know I let her down; her kind heart is just trying not to let me suffer for it.

“I do feel safe,” she assures me. “And I’m not trying to protect you.”

“Then why won’t you let me see you cry? Why do you cover yourself so I can’t see what they did to you? You’re trying to spare my fuckin’ feelings, and it’s killin’ me,” I confess, just about managing to find enough strength to look up at her.

“Dev, you saw enough on that boat. You don’t need to see it.” She shakes her head.

“Yeah, well, maybe I do. We both know it’s all my fault. I need to face up to it; you had to,” I remind her.

“None of this was your fault. I chose to go and speak to my dad alone, even though you begged to come with me. And Quinnell didn’t take me because of you or the club. It was something to do with my father, and I know you know what it was.” She stares at me accusingly.

“None of it matters, it’s over now.” Frank Dawson may have earned himself the club’s trust by not doing what Quinnell ordered him to, and although Millie’s mad at him, the fact that she keeps asking me if I think he’s okay proves how much she cares.

She says she’s not ready to speak to him yet, but it won’t be long.

“You have to stop trying to protect me from the truth, Dev. First, about Corey, now dad. I deserve answers. I’m not a child.” I can hear how frustrated she’s getting, and I can relate. She’s doing to me exactly what I’m doing to her and trying to shield me from how much the truth would hurt.

“Show me.” I look into her eyes and plead with her. “Let me see what they did.” I don’t want her to keep her trauma to herself any longer. I deserve to suffer with her.

“If I do, will you tell me everything?” she asks with a quiver in her voice.

“Yes.” I nod my head and wait for her to reveal herself to me.

She releases a slow, deep breath as she moves her hand to the top of the towel, untucking it and letting it drop to the floor.

I lower my eyes to her soft, delicate skin, and feel a thousand knives pierce my heart when I see the scratches and bruises covering it.

The bruises are much deeper in color than they were when I found her, and so many more of them have risen to the surface.

Millie keeps her eyes tightly shut, as if she’s protecting herself from my reaction.

“Can I?” My hand trembles as I reach out to touch her, scared that my touch could hurt or make her flinch.

She opens her eyes, and when she sees my fingertips hovering over her skin, she nods her head and smiles.

Steadily, I touch where they marked her, tracing over the teeth marks on her tits and wishing my touch could erase them.

“I’m so sorry, Mill,” I tell her for the millionth time, as she stands naked and so brave in front of me, exposing all she’s suffered.

“Do you still feel the same about me?” Her voice cracks like she’s on the verge of tears, and I pause my hand and look back up at her.

“Of course, I feel the same, are you fuckin’ crazy?” I stand up, forgetting myself when I grip my hand around her throat.

“ Fuck , I’m sorry.” I quickly drag it away, mad at myself for being so thoughtless.

“Don’t be.” She grabs my wrist and places my hand back where it was. “I don’t want you to treat me any differently from how you did before. If you do, they win.”

I frown at her, wondering how she can be so courageous after all she’s been through.

“I’m still yours, Dev. What they did to me doesn’t change that, does it?” She looks so scared, and my fingers tense around her throat when I think about how I want them to suffer for ever making her doubt it.

“It doesn’t change a thing.” I lean my head down to kiss her, tasting the tears that slip between our lips.

“D’ya need me to remind you?” Sliding my hand down from her neck to her body, I speak against her sweet, soft mouth. I haven’t touched her like this yet, outta fear, but I’m getting a sense that this is what she needs.

“Will you?” She looks up at me with big, green eyes full of hope.

“I’ve wanted to since I found you. I was just?—”

“I think we’ve learned that we should always trust your instinct,” she tells me, with a cute little smile, guiding my hand lower between her legs.

“I need you to claim this body back, Dev. Make me yours again,” she whispers.

“There ain’t ever been a time when you weren’t.” I slide two fingers into her pussy and slip my tongue between her lips, lifting her up with my other arm. I press her against the wall and kiss every inch of skin that I can reach.

I’m trying my best to be careful, but something feral has unleashed in me, and I feel the urge to ensure this woman remembers who she belongs to.

Freeing my cock from my sweatpants, I replace my fingers with it, slowly pushing inside her and filling her pussy all the way to the hilt.

“You okay?” I check, knowing how tender she’s been and not wanting to cause her any more pain.

“I’m perfect.” She grips hold of my shoulder as I gently move inside her.

“You're mine, Millie Dawson. Ain’t nothing in this world that’ll ever change that,” I promise, meaning every word.