Page 39

I come out of the pit in a better state than Sinner, but it still ain’t nothing Polly can’t patch up for him.

He shakes my hand and spits blood at the ground before we head inside the clubhouse for a drink.

I still don’t feel any better, the pain inside me ain’t gone away, and it hurts more than ever when her sad eyes look up at me as we enter.

I know I need to explain. Millie's a smart girl, and she has every right to be upset over what Corey did to her while they were together. I just don’t know how to handle her being so hurt by him.

“You okay?” Polly starts examining my split lip.

“Sin needs ya more than I do,” I tell her, taking the bottle of tequila from his hand and knocking it back.

“I think you're slowing up; must be all those feelin’s ya got for your brother’s girl are weighing ya down,” he mocks me.

“ My girl. She’s my fuckin’ girl, Sin,” I remind him before making my way over to the girls’ table.

“Can we talk?” I ask Millie, whose eyes are all red and puffy from the crying she’s done. I don’t know if it’s over what Corey did to her, or how I reacted; either way, seeing ’em makes me feel like an asshole.

“ Now you wanna talk?” She laughs sadly.

“Yeah, I wanna talk.” I hold out my hand, hoping she’ll take it, and after she assesses it for a while, she ignores the fact it’s stained with Sinner’s blood and takes it in hers.

“Let's take a walk on the beach?” My shoulders sag with relief as I lead her out onto the balcony.

“Why did you ask me all those questions about Corey? You know he’d never hurt me,” she says as soon as we’re alone.

“Ignore me, I was being stupid. I let that whore get in my head,” I lie to her for the greater good. Millie’s memories of Corey don’t need to be tarnished.

“Dev, I get that me being upset about this hurts you, but it’s not–”

“You got every right to be sad,” I interrupt her.

“I did warn ya that I’d be bad at this.” Looking up at her, I manage a tiny grin which she reciprocates.

“I’ve never felt jealous like this before.

I felt it a little when you were together, but now, it’s different.

And to feel that kind of jealousy toward your own brother…

It fucks with your head real bad, Millie.

I can feel the weight of it crushing me, and I’m scared as hell about what it’s gonna do to you.

” I sit down on the sand, dragging her down so she’s straddling my lap, and wrap her up in my arms. It’s pathetic, but I feel the need to have her real close.

“It wasn’t jealousy that had me going to that whore house today,” she explains. “I just felt so stupid, and at the same time… a little relieved.” I can see from her expression that she’s conflicted by her own feelings.

“Talk to me.” I slide her hair behind her ears when the breeze drags it into her eyes. I wanna know what she’s feeling inside so I can make it better.

“I’ve spent the last year feeling awful for the way I felt about you. I should never have stayed with Corey for all that time, when I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. But I kept convincing myself that eventually, I’d see him the way I see you.”

I watch her eyes fall between us as she plays with the lapels of my cut.

“I hated myself. I felt guilty every time I looked at him, but I couldn’t end it because I knew it would hurt him.

Knowing that all that time he was sleeping with her, it makes me feel less awful about it.

And I know how wrong that is, but it’s the truth.

I needed to speak to that girl today because knowing that Corey wasn’t as perfect as I thought he was makes me feel better.

” She squeezes her eyes shut like she’s ashamed of herself.

“Hey, there's nothing wrong in that. Nothing at all, and I was just as shocked as you were. But you can’t let that shadow the memories you got of him. I don’t know what went down with that whore or what was going through his head, but he really did love you,” I assure her.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I just want to forget today ever happened and focus on tomorrow.” She kisses me, and when the sting it causes my lips makes me flinch, she quickly pulls away.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” she giggles, gently touching her fingertips to the cut.

“It’s worth the pain.” I kiss her again, holding her tight to my body and feeling much better than I did in that fuckin’ pit.

“She’s settling in well,” Connor Monkhouse mentions, looking over at the table where all the girls are chatting. Connor takes care of all the club's legal affairs; he’s never really spoken to me before, and I can’t help wondering what his interest in my old lady is.

“What's it to you?” I ask him outright. He’s been hanging out here a lot more often lately. I think he’s getting used to the attention the club whores show him.

“Her father and mine are friends. I can’t imagine Frank’s all that happy that you’ve claimed her.” His laughter suddenly turns nervous when he reads my face and sees that I ain’t impressed by his comment.

“You here to see somebody?” I check.

“Yeah, ummm, Raze asked me to stop by.” He starts looking around the room for him.

“He’s in his office.” I stare him down as he scurries off in that direction, then once I’ve given him a cold look through the office window, I head over to see what's making Millie look so happy.

“Ya good?” I check, draping my arm across her chest and kissing her cheek.

“Yeah, really good.” She smiles back up at me over her shoulder. “Dad messaged and said Mom took my flight to stay with Aunt Maeve; he wants us to talk while she’s gone.” She looks positive, but it makes me uneasy.

“Is that a good idea?” After the last stunt her dad pulled, I don’t trust him.

“Dev, my daddy may be the one running for senator, but it’s always been Mom who had the ambition.

She’s not well. She’s been driven by greed for too long.

I know I can reason with my dad. I actually think the two of you could get along.

” I love how enthusiastic she’s sounding and after the day she’s had, I ain’t gonna burst her bubble, but I can’t see a world where a man like Frank Dawson would accept me for a son-in-law.

“I’m going home for brunch tomorrow, I’m going to tell my dad all about us, and then I’ll give him the choice.” She shrugs.

“What choice?” I frown.

“If he has me in his life or not.” She smiles sadly, gripping my hand as tears form in her eyes again

“You wanna go home?” I ask, feeling the sudden urge to have her all to myself.

“I can’t think of anything better.” She slides her hand over my jaw and kisses me.

I can smell the burning, I can hear her screams, howling over the crackling flames, and when I see her face among the smoke, so desperate and petrified, I feel my heart pounding to the beat her hands make against the glass.

This time her face isn’t the one I usually see.

The face belongs to someone else, and as the flames lick higher, it starts melting away.

Time is running out. I have to save her.

“Dev,” I hear her voice calling out to me, screaming for me to help. But I can’t get to her. I can’t save her. It always ends the same. All I can do is end her. It’s the only way to make her pain go away.

“Dev!” My breath holds when I’m shaken awake, and when I see Millie looking all freaked out and scared, my hands automatically lift to her face so I can check it’s still intact.

She’s not hot, she’s not burning. Her skin is still smooth and perfect.

“You're okay?” I sigh in relief and throw my head back against the pillow.

“Of course, I’m okay. You're the one sweating and thrashing in your sleep. Were you dreaming?” Millie asks, passing me a glass of water from her nightstand.

“I must have been.” I swallow it down and remind myself to breathe. It’s been a while since my mind took me back to that place, and this time, seeing Millie’s face locked in my version of hell, made it so much worse than the times before.

“You’re okay, whatever it was is over now,” she assures me, wrapping her arms around my neck and pressing my head against her chest, and it’s not until I hear her heart thumping in my ear that I let my body relax.

“You wanna talk about it?” she asks after a few minutes of silence.

“Never.” I grip around her waist and hold her tight.