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I stare at the group text from Alice. Did Robbie ditch her? She was so excited about that bookstore trip and has been talking about doing that silly trend since the summer. Would it be weird if I took her instead?

Without giving it too much thought, I call her.

“Hello?” she answers, voice hoarse, like she’s been crying.

“Alice, it’s Jordan. Is everything okay?”

“Hey,” she says in a wobbly voice. “Yeah, I’m good. What’s up?”

“Have you heard from Robbie?” I ask, not liking the sound of her voice one bit. I don’t care that Robbie is her brother, I’m gonna smack the shit out of him for hurting her.

“Yeah, he’s got something going on with Olivia. He’s fine though, sorry I freaked out over the group chat.” She sniffles, and I swear to god it physically hurts me to hear her so dejected. This girl is nothing if not sunshine and rainbows.

“Wait, so he did actually ditch you? What the hell?” I ask hotly. My fingers are already on the keys and I’m grabbing my jacket off the hook as I say, “I’m coming to get you. You’re getting those books today no matter what.”

“Really?” she asks, her voice filled with surprise and what sounds like wonder.

Fuck, doesn’t she know I’d do anything for her?

I guess I’ve hurt her badly enough keeping my distance the past couple of years, but that doesn’t mean I stopped caring about her.

If anything, I cared more , knowing she was right within reach, and yet so far from me.

I really hated myself for making her miss family gatherings, all because she didn’t want to be near me.

If anything, I should have been the one to stay away.

But I didn’t. I couldn’t. Because deep down, I still wanted her friendship.

I wanted to be around her and hear her sweet laugh and listen to her ramble about her most recent book obsession.

I just didn’t want to add the pressure of a relationship, not when I wasn’t sure that something between us would last. She’s my best friend’s little sister. Complicated.

“I’ll be there shortly. Bring your biggest tote.”

Alice giggles on the other end of the phone and my smile grows wider.

When Eli and Ash joined the team, and Robbie started inviting them to family dinners, I was jealous.

Not because of the attention they got from the Elliots, but because Alice started attending more and more again.

And she was making genuine friendships with them, getting Eli out of his shell and flirting with Ash.

And I realized that I wanted that back. I wanted to be the one that made her laugh. I wanted to be the one she confided in when she was struggling with her career choices.

I wanted to be the one.

I wanted to be hers.

I pull up to her apartment building, trying hard not to think back to the last and only time I was here. Because if I think too hard about that night and what an idiot I was, I might actually lose my mind and ask her to kiss me like that again.

Alice comes bounding down the steps with a cute beige beanie on her head and a large canvas tote on her shoulder. I squint at the words on it that say: Came for the books, stayed for the smut.

I roll my eyes and try not to blush when she opens the door to my SUV and hops inside. Her eyes are still a little red from crying, but her smile is blinding.

“I hope you brought your wallet, because books ain’t cheap,” she says, looking me dead in the eye.

I grin back at her and say, “Don’t hold back on my account, I want to see how much damage you can do in sixty seconds.”

“Oh, it’s on!” She laughs and throws her arms around me. It’s awkward since I’m only partially facing her and there’s a center console between us. But when her signature floral scent envelops me, I automatically put an arm around her, pulling her close.

I missed her.

We stay in each other’s embrace for a moment longer than necessary, until someone honks at me for blocking the sidewalk.

Alice pulls back, startled, and I inwardly curse at the stranger for ruining the moment.

“We should get going,” she says, fiddling with her tote and adjusting her hat. Could she be nervous to hang out with me again? Just the two of us?

This isn’t the first time we’ve been alone together since the night of our kiss.

There was the time she helped me pick out birthday presents for my sister, Tangela.

We wandered the aisles for hours in the search for the perfect book, which then turned into a whole basket, as Alice suggested we get bookmarks, annotation kits, tea, mugs, and even a blanket for it.

Who knew girls were making this book thing into such a hobby?

She seemed more shy around me at Thanksgiving and Christmas, sneaking glances from across the room and rambling any time I asked her something.

And then there was New Year’s, when I drove her home at the end of Robbie’s party and we listened to Hozier and talked about how wonderful Olivia is and how fun our trip to Northern Michigan will be.

My mind is still racing with thoughts about Alice as we park the car.

The independent bookstore she likes is rather small, but it does have two stories.

I hold open the door for her and get a whiff of her floral perfume as she enters.

My hand shakes with the need to touch her, to land on the small of her back, but I restrain myself.

This is unchartered territory for us, and the truth is, I’m still not sure what I want from her. Friendship, definitely, but beyond that, I’m torn. Everything is still complicated. Still messy. All I know is that I don’t want to be the one that hurts her feelings.

And yet you did just that by rejecting her .

I shake myself out of my own thoughts and look around the quaint bookstore.

The lighting is warm and the music transitions from Hozier to something by Noah Kahan.

I smile, realizing how much Alice likes this song and how we spent so many summer nights around a bonfire, listening to her indie playlist that sounded just like this.

Her eyes find mine and there’s a soft gleam there, like she remembers it too.

With a small smile, she turns her gaze away from me, perusing the shelves. I grin to myself and take a few steps closer, blocking her view of the books.

“Hey—“

“Alice Margot Elliot, this is cheating,” I say in my most serious voice, though the corners of my lips betray me.

She gasps and brings both her hands to her chest. What a drama queen. “Did you just call me by my full name? What did I do to deserve that?”

“You said you’d get five minutes—timed—to look around, followed by a minute of book-grabbing. So what are you doing looking at books already?”

She groans and throws her head back. “But I can’t not say hi to my favorite books.”

My eyebrows go up and I smile down at her. She’s so fucking cute in her pink puffy coat and hat with a giant pom-pom on it.

“Are you telling me you’re looking at books you already have?”

“That is exactly what I’m saying,” she says, walking over to one of the display tables and running her hand over a book titled Divine Rivals . “I miss you so much,” she whispers.

A laugh escapes me at the way she wistfully talks to the books, and Alice pins me with a glare.

“Don’t laugh at me,” she chides, but I can tell she’s not hurt by my laughter by the way the corners of her mouth pull up in a small smile.

“No, keep talking to your fictional boyfriends, it’s cute,” I say, and bite my bottom lip.

Alice watches the movement and I try my best to compose myself. You’re here for a reason, dumbass.

“Ready to peruse?” I say, getting my phone out and setting a five-minute timer.

“I was born ready,” she says, pulling off her coat and leaving it with her tote on one of the high-back chairs in front of the cozy fireplace.

As soon as I tap the start button, she’s off, all but running from one section of the bookstore to the other. She starts in the general fiction, skimming the shelves and nodding to herself.

“When you nod, does that mean you saw something you want?” I ask, following her around the store, smiling politely at the people around us as she speed-walks to the next section.

“Shh!”

“No interrupting, got it,” I say. I can only imagine she’s mentally cataloging where each book is located on the shelves so she can come back to it later.

She spends most of the time—three minutes to be exact—in the contemporary romance section, and I’m about to remind her there’s a whole other story of the building when she takes off running up the stairs.

I laugh and follow her up two steps at a time, my long legs allowing me to catch up with her. Her short sleeve tee rides up, giving me a glimpse of skin above her high-waisted jeans, and I do my best not to stare at the spot. Except the only other place to look is down—at her ass.

Groaning, I look anywhere but at her as soon as we reach the top of the stairs. Alice heads for the fantasy section and nods to herself a few more times. She’s about to turn to the YA section when the timer goes off.

“Damn, that was five whole minutes already?” She looks at me, eyes wide and cheeks a little flushed.

“I guess so,” I say, blushing a little and trying not to think of how great she looks in that tight little yellow T-shirt with the words “romance girly” on it.

“Okay. I think I got it handled, I know where most things are,” she says, rubbing her hands together and grinning like the little villain she is.

I shake my head and reset the timer to one minute. “So how do we do this? Do you want to start up here or go back down?”

“We’ll start here, there’s not much I need to grab from this area anyway.”

“Okay, and … go!”

Alice zooms past me, grabbing three fantasy books from the shelf and bounding down the stairs, giggling. I smile as I continue to follow her and snap a few pictures, careful not to disturb the timer.

Fifteen seconds left on the clock, and she’s already got a stack of books from her hip all the way to her neck. But my girl is determined to get more as she balances the stack and reaches up to grab a couple more, tucking them under her chin.

“And … time,” I say, right as the alarm goes off. Everyone in the store is looking at Alice with impressed expressions on their faces and it makes me beam with pride.

“Little help now?” she squeaks, and I hurry to put my phone away, easily grabbing the stack from her hand and taking it up to the register.

“This is—wow. You got fifteen books,” I say, impressed.

Alice looks up at me, expression beaming with a smile. It dies down as the cashier starts to scan the books and she says, “You know , I don’t have to get them all. It was fun to do it, regardless.”

“What are you talking about? You’re getting them all,” I say, brows furrowing at her words.

“That’s just—a lot of money, and I didn’t actually mean to put you out …” she trails off, biting her lip in the process.

“Hey, I don’t care about the price. I wanted to do this for you, okay? So just accept it, please,” I say low enough only she can hear me and bump her shoulder with mine.

Her eyes shine when she looks back at me and says, “Thank you, J.”

My heart skips and I wrap an arm around her shoulder, bringing her into a side hug. I missed her calling me that.

“Happy birthday, Al.”