Page 16

Three Years Ago – April

Jordan

I wake up with a start, breathing hard as I try to shake off my nightmare.

I usually get them when I’m stressed, but I’ve never had this specific one before—we’re all at Robbie’s house, hanging out and playing board games, when all of a sudden an earthquake starts.

I’m glued to my seat, unable to move, unable to help.

I just sit there, watching everything around me crumble to dust. Then I blink, and everyone is gone, and I’m alone on a pile of rubble.

My heart beats fast and I try to calm down, but my mind is running in a million different directions.

Maybe it’s the realization that we’ve clinched the playoffs and we’re about to give it our best and make this the best season.

Or maybe it’s the stress of my performance, because I’ve felt off ever since Robbie suddenly retired at the beginning of the month—like I’m missing a limb.

I asked him to reconsider, mostly because we were so close to the end of the season, but also because I didn’t want to lose one of my best friends. Without him as captain, I feel like we might drift.

But in the end, Robbie wanted to focus on his new passion project—the youth foundation nonprofit—and spend more time with Olivia, helping her through her injury and recovery.

I close my eyes tight and try to regulate my breathing, but it still comes out in stuttering waves. A cold hand on my naked back jolts me and I turn to face her.

Alice squints at me, her blond hair fanned out on my pillow, her thumb brushing back and forth on my back. “J, what’s wrong?” she asks, sitting up and placing her head on my shoulder.

I relax a bit, pulling her into my embrace. “Just a bad dream. I’m sorry I woke you,” I say, kissing her forehead and running my fingers through her wavy mussed-up hair.

Ever since we got back from the cabin, our time together has exponentially increased. Alice has been at my apartment every night, except when I was gone for away games. We still have not put a label on what this is, but it’s clear that we’re not anywhere near being done with each other.

That night at the hospital, as we were waiting for Robbie and Olivia, I realized that all I wanted was to hold her and be close to her. I just wish I didn’t live in constant anxiety about how her family will react when they find out about us.

Hugging her closer, I inhale the faint scent of her coconut shampoo and let our bodies fall back against the mattress.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she whispers against my shoulder, in the same spot she’s burrowed herself every night she’s been at my apartment.

She fits so effortlessly into my arms, and I don’t know what to do with that information.

“I won’t be able to fall asleep if I think about it too hard.” I sigh and hold her closer to me. Her hand lands on my collarbone and she rubs her thumb in soothing circles.

“Okay, J,” she mumbles, and relaxes in my arms, falling back asleep almost instantly. I’m jealous. I wish I could shut off my brain like that.

I spend the rest of the night overthinking everything.

What are Alice and I doing? Do we have a future together?

Am I going to get my shit together before the playoffs start? Or will I fail everyone?

My alarm goes off and Alice jumps off me, eyes wide and hair askew. I smile fondly at her rumpled state and reach over to silence my phone.

“Shit, what time is it?” she asks, trying to untangle herself from my sheets and almost falling off the bed in the process. I catch her around the middle before she can face plant and pull her back into my arms, kissing her.

“It’s 6:30 a.m. You still have plenty of time before you need to get to work,” I say, knowing she has to get going soon and get back to teaching middle schoolers.

“I badly need a shower, someone made a mess of me last night,” she mumbles against my jaw, and I smirk.

“Maybe you should think twice before enticing me with that jersey,” I retort, and she laughs, blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Enticing, huh?” she asks, eyebrow quirked, her hand trailing down my stomach, and grabbing my cock through my boxer briefs. It twitches at her touch, but I pull her hand back. If we have a repeat of last night, she’ll definitely be late.

“Very,” I say, and press one more kiss against her lips before jumping off the bed and starting up the shower.

Alice follows me inside the bathroom, rubbing the sleep away from her eyes, my T-shirt she’s wearing riding high on her creamy thighs.

Maybe we do have time for a quick round?—

The phone rings and I frown. Alice startles and places a hand on her heart. “That scared me. Who is calling so early?” she says.

“No idea, I’ll check it out and join you in a second,” I say, pressing another kiss to the top of her head.

My heart drops when I see Coach Brian’s name on my phone. Our last game of the season is tonight, and we’ve already clinched a spot in the playoffs. What could he possibly be calling about?

Alice

I’m sore everywhere . Not that I’m complaining about it.

When I showed up to Jordan’s apartment last night in nothing but his jersey and a trench coat on top, I didn’t expect him to lose his mind over it, bend me over the couch, and fuck me senseless.

And when I could barely walk, he carried me to the bedroom, grabbed my overnight bag from the car, and spent an indecent amount of time going down on me, apologizing with his tongue.

This past month has felt surreal. I let the hot water spray over my skin and smile as I think about the little bubble we’ve been under since coming back from the cabin.

Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I think all my dreams might be coming true.

I’ve carried a torch for Jordan for so long, and now that I finally have him, I can’t imagine letting him go.

“J?” I call out, realizing it’s been a while and he hasn’t joined me. I turn the shower off and step out onto the mat, grabbing a clean towel off the hook. I don’t bother to wrap one around my hair, but instead I walk back into the bedroom, seeing what the holdup is.

“Jordan?” I ask, but I don’t get an answer. His phone is gone from the nightstand so maybe he’s taking a call somewhere else. Curiosity gets the best of me, and I step out into the living room.

There’s nothing here except for the jersey on the couch and the sound of complete and utter silence. When I look for Jordan’s car keys on the hook by the door, I don’t find them.

He’s gone.

The class bell rings while I’m in the middle of explaining to Joe, one of my sixth-grade students, why he needs to improve his writing skills, and more specifically why he can’t get away with “The book was fire” as his literary analysis for The Hobbit .

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose as the little shit smirks at me and throws his backpack over one shoulder. “Great talk everyone, happy to continue this discussion next time,” I mumble, and plaster on a smile for the rest of my class.

There’s always that one kid—smart as a whip but determined to make the teacher’s life a living hell.

That’s Joe. He could be so much more if he applied himself, but instead he chooses to spend his time making wise-ass remarks and avoiding any conversation about his home life.

Not that I try too hard to pester him, after all, it’s not my job to be his counselor.

But it still nags at me that I haven’t been able to get through to him all year.

I grab my phone from my purse and check to see if Jordan called or texted while I was busy, but there’s still nothing. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth and gnaw at it in concern. What could have been so important that he had to run out of his own apartment so early in the morning?

And why is he avoiding me?

I shake off the uneasy feeling. I’m sure it’s fine, it’s nothing bad. If something had happened with his sister or parents, I would have found out by now, either from him or my own family. It’s probably something hockey related.

Taking a sip of my iced brown sugar latte, I try to focus my attention on my next group of students, ready to talk about The Hobbit all over again. Good thing it’s one of my favorite books.

A knock at the door has me spinning towards it, my hand flying to my chest.

“Didn’t mean to startle you,” Megan says, taking a few steps forward. I’ve known Megan since I started working as a substitute English teacher at Rowen Elementary last year. We both started on the same day, and we struck up a friendship pretty quickly, being the youngest two on the teacher roster.

“Sorry, I’m just jumpy today,” I say, tucking my hair behind my ear nervously.

I don’t have a lot of female friends outside of Olivia, and while I adore her to pieces, we’re not yet at that level in our friendship to share everything .

She’s very perceptive and guessed that I had a crush on Jordan, but I haven’t told her yet about the cabin and how we’ve been sneaking around this past month.

I especially didn’t want to bother her as she’s recovering from her nasty injury on the ice.

Megan, on the other hand, is a great listener. She’s already heard me pining after Jordan countless times, and maybe I just need to tell someone, anyone, that we’re finally together.

“Jordan and I finally took the next step,” I say vaguely, rolling my lips inward and swaying from side to side.

Megan’s pale blond eyebrows fly up her forehead as she says, “Really?”

“Yes,” I squeak out, followed by a bunch of word vomit.

“We went to the cabin a month ago, and he caught me reading smut and then he read some of it and I thought he was gonna make fun of me, but he was actually really cute and sexy about it, and I admitted that I still have a crush on him, and then he kissed me. And then we did a lot more than kissing, and when we got back, it’s just been nonstop.

I mean, I knew he was gonna be good in bed, but hot damn , the man has stamina.

And last night was so unbelievably perfect, but then he got a call this morning and I haven’t seen or spoken to him since, and I’m getting a little worried. ”

Megan wraps me in a gentle hug, and I relax against her. She towers over me, as she’s nearly six feet tall, and when she pulls back, she cups my head with both hands.

“I’m so happy for you. I know you’ve carried a torch for him for so many years, I bet it feels nice to give in and explore this new thing. Just—be careful, okay?”

“We use protection,” I say. “Well, mostly.”

Megan chokes on a laugh and her ring-clad fingers land on my shoulders, shaking me a little. “I meant be careful with your heart and feelings, but good to know, you little nympho.”

“I am careful,” I say, a touch defensively.

“Okay,” Megan nods, a small dimple popping in her angular face.

“Seriously,” I say, peeking around her, making sure no kids are in sight. “I’ve been in love with him since I was seventeen, I think I know my own feelings.”

“I’m not saying you don’t. Just—” She hesitates briefly, tilting her head in thought.

“You, my friend, like to wear your heart on your sleeve and I just don’t want anyone to take advantage of that.

I’m sure Jordan is lovely, and I want you both to be happy.

Just make sure you two are on the same page about what this is. ”

I ponder her advice, knowing she’s never led me astray, and I realize that she does have a point. Jordan has never brought up the fact that we are a couple now. He hasn’t labeled us in any way, not even as a hookup.

“I guess you’re right,” I say, taking a seat and taking one more look at my black phone screen before the bell goes off again.

“Al, I love you. I’m sure everything is fine, and I’m glad you finally got your dream guy. I can’t wait to meet him,” Megan says, retreating to the door and giving me a wink.

Right. If only my dream guy would answer the phone, I would love to talk about where we stand.