Page 7

Three Years Ago – February

Alice

I smile down at my phone, reading all the birthday texts from my friends and family group chat.

Ash

happy birthday blondie — send me your book wishlist so I can spoil you with smut

Robbie

Can you not talk about smut and my sister in the same sentence, please?

Ash

hey, it’s not my fault that’s all she reads…

Eli

I second the wishlist, though not for the smut reasons. Happy birthday!

Alice

Haha. Let’s put a pin in the wishlist, I need to update it after Robbie takes me to the bookstore tonight as he promised :)

Jordan

Happy birthday!

Alice

Thank you :)

Ash

What’s happening at the bookstore?

Alice

We’re doing the bookstore birthday challenge. I’ll have five minutes to look around for books, and a minute to grab as many as I can. He pays for the stack I end up with.

Eli

How many books do you think you’ll be able to grab?

Alice

At least ten.

Robbie

You’re lucky you’re my favorite sister.

Alice

I’m your only sister.

Robbie

Still my favorite ;)

I put my phone away and head out of my apartment. The coffee shop at the corner of my street is advertising a lemon scone, and my mouth waters at the thought of it. Even though I don’t need any more caffeine, I make the impulsive decision to duck inside.

The sidewalk is slushy from all the melting snow, and I wipe my boots really well on the welcome mat once I go inside.

The barista looks up and flashes me a smile, his nose piercing glinting with the movement. “Welcome in,” he says in a deep voice.

“Thanks,” I say, a warm smile pulling at my lips. He’s cute—his hair is long and black, pulled up in a man bun with a few strands falling out in the front. A few tattoos poke out of his short sleeves, and my eyes jump between the scones and his body, subtly enjoying the view.

I’m rarely attracted to strangers, but there’s something about this guy that draws me in.

“What can I get you?” he asks, a full smile overtaking his face. And that’s when I notice it—he looks a bit like Jordan, from the shape of his lips to the color of his eyes.

Fuck .

My smile fades as I say, “I’ll take a lemon scone and a hot tea, please.”

The guy’s flirty expression stays in place as he grabs me a scone and hot water, takes my payment, and points to the station behind me where the tea bags are on display.

I want to be bold and ask for his number, but Jordan’s face flashes through my mind again. Why can’t I get over him already?

I stir the bag into my hot water absentmindedly and think back on the last few years.

Even though Jordan rejected me and I kept my distance for a while, I saw him all the time.

I still do. It’s impossible not to when we get together for family dinner every month and spend all the holidays together.

Not to mention, I’ve been attending more Manticores games this season since Robbie hinted that this might be his last.

Getting over the guy I’ve been in love with for the past seven years is no small feat. Every time I go on a date, I can’t help but compare that person to Jordan—how thoughtful he is, how he’s always looking out for me, how he blushes every time I say anything remotely flirty.

After he turned me down that night, I even went so far as to avoid family gatherings, which are my favorite.

There’s something about the chaos of Sunday dinner, where everyone is chatting, setting the table, and laughing around the kitchen island, that makes me feel at home.

Regardless of if we’re at my parent’s house or at The Arcadian—these people are my home.

So skipping out those first few months really put me in a dark mood, but soon after, Ash and Eli joined the team, and Robbie all but adopted them into our family. All of a sudden, family gatherings became more bearable, and I started attending regularly again.

Ash is the world’s biggest flirt and he’s closest to my age, so the two of us became fast friends, always finding something to talk about or obsess over.

Eli is extremely introverted, and at first I thought he was kind of an asshole, but once he got used to us, he started to open up. We bonded over our love for romance novels, which was a shock to me as he’s a six foot three hockey goalie.

Truth is, I can’t imagine life without them anymore.

Without knowing it, they helped ease the ache of Jordan’s rejection, especially since he never brought that kiss up again.

While I thought it would be awkward being in his presence, we somehow continued to make polite and short conversations every time we hung out.

But going from nonstop texting and hanging out daily to a once-a-month conversation—well, it hurt more than I expected.

I get that people fall out of touch, but that’s usually when a major change happens: someone moves away, they get a new job, they start dating.

But in our situation, the distance was intentional.

He made it clear he didn’t want to give us a chance.

I can’t deal with complicated right now. I’ve thought about his words so many times, analyzing them until they drove me crazy.

Complicated. I suppose he’s right, there is a lot at stake if we were to date. Especially if it didn’t work out—I would hate to be the wedge between our two families.

Right now . Did he mean there was a chance for us later? If so, when?

At some point I realized stressing over his words was pointless. He stopped texting, stopped hanging out, so I kept my distance too. But more importantly, I made my peace with letting him go, even though my feelings never really went away.

And I was fine. At least, I told myself I was.

Until a couple of months ago, I got an out-of-the-blue text about a book recommendation.

Jordan wanted to know what to get for Tangela’s birthday, and what should have been a quick text turned into a late-night phone call, which then turned into a trip to the bookstore to find all the right presents to make her a bookish gift basket.

Since then, I’ve gotten the feeling that he might want to reconnect. That maybe—just maybe—he might want to give this complicated thing a shot.

A splash of hot water lands on my finger as I stir, and it breaks me out of my reverie.

After throwing the tea bag away, I add a little honey and place a lid on my drink.

I turn and wave at the barista on my way out and balance my hot drink and scone in one hand, while I pull my phone out to check the newest text.

Eli

There’s a special screening of Pride and Prejudice tonight at the downtown theater. Want to go after dinner?

Alice

OMG yes, how is that even a question??!

I squeal in delight and head back to my apartment to wait for Robbie.

After the bookstore trip, we’re going to my parents’ house to help them prepare for my birthday get together.

I can’t imagine a more perfect ending to this day than watching one of my favorite movies with one of my favorite friends.

Though, there is one person missing—Olivia.

I wish she could be here tonight, but she’s back home in Minnesota, where she has to referee a hockey game.

As soon as Robbie told me about this new friend of his, that just so happened to be a woman, I was so excited.

As much as I love the boys, there’s only so much testosterone in our family that I can handle.

As soon as I met Olivia over Thanksgiving, I knew she’d be the one for Robbie.

There was something in the way she looked at him, like he was a bright and shining light in her life, that made me bold enough to outright ask her what her intentions were.

One might argue that it was too soon, but I think that was the push she needed to confess her feelings.

Since then, they’ve been inseparable, constantly texting and calling since their crazy schedules keep them apart most of the time.

I’m excited for our group trip to Northern Michigan next week, and to get to know her better.

I already know we have similar taste in books and songs, but I want us to be friends.

I take a seat at my dining table, moaning around a bite of the delicious lemon scone, and send Robbie a text, letting him know I’ll be ready soon. He’s usually quick to answer, but this time, it sits unread.

Robbie is an hour late and won’t answer his phone. I pace the apartment, trying not to panic over all the possible scenarios of why he’s not here on time. This is so unlike him. Another call goes to voicemail, and I decide to text the group.

Alice

Anyone know why Robbie is AWOL?

Eli

I was trying to get ahold of him but he didn’t answer me either.

Jordan

I thought he was with you at the bookstore?

Alice

He never showed up at my place.

Jordan

He ditched you?

Ash

maybe he and Olivia are having a little video chat if you know what I mean…

Alice

Ew, no Ash. Why would you give me that visual?

I try to wipe away the mental image of my brother and Olivia doing god knows what over a video call when my phone rings.

“Robbie?” I ask, my vision blurry with tears.

“Hey, Al. I’m sorry, I completely spaced out on time. I’ve been trying to get a hold of Olivia but I think something happened with her phone, it keeps sending me to voicemail.”

“Oh, do you think she’s okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s nothing. I just worry about her, you know? She went out last night with some coworkers but she didn’t give me any more updates.”

“I can try giving her a call too. But, Robbie, are you still coming to get me?” I ask, feeling stupid. Here I am, worried that he won’t take me to the bookstore, when he’s worried about his girlfriend not making it home safely.

“She’s calling me back now. Al, I’m sorry, I have to take it. I don’t think we’ll have time to go to the bookstore before dinner,” he says hurriedly.

I bite my lip and nod, even though he can’t see it. “Yeah, that’s okay?—“

“I gotta go, I’ll see you later,” he says, hanging up on me.

Jordan