Page 21

Two Years Ago – June

Jordan

When we get to the event space at the winery, my first priority is to find Alice. The space has a few people setting up the stage and instruments for the band, but she’s nowhere in sight.

“Okay, let’s split up,” I say, looking at the group of people I dragged out here early to help. All of us are in the wedding party, so I’m hoping we can wrap up in time for the pictures.

“What do we need to do?” Eli asks.

Shit, I don’t know. She mentioned something about the decorations and balloons on the phone, but I really just need to find her.

“I’m assuming those balloons need to be tied to the arch,” Alex says, pointing at the balloons on the table and all the supplies laid out.

“We can take that task on,” his wife, Malia, says, already marching over there.

“Okay, thanks,” I blow out a breath, nodding appreciatively at Alex. He gives me an imperceptibly small smile back and follows his wife. Thank god. I wouldn’t even know where to start on the balloon arch.

“There are boxes near that wall,” Ash points out, taking off his backpack.

I frown at him. “Why did you bring a backpack?”

“For supplies,” he says matter of fact, reaching in and pulling out three walkie-talkies.

Eli laughs and says, “Where did you even find those?”

“What? Alice had them in her room, I figured she wanted to use them.” He hands me one and runs over to Alex, handing him the other.

He keeps the third one for himself and speaks into it. “Operation Save the Wedding is a go.” Ash smirks at me, and Eli shakes his head at his boyfriend’s antics. He presses the button once more and says, “This is the Love Guru. Over. And. Out.”

We all laugh, and I let Ash and Eli handle the decorations while I go looking for Alice. I knock at the women’s bathroom door and look around the entire building before finding her outside, sitting on the ground with her back against the building.

“Hey,” I say gently, lowering myself next to her. Alice wipes her cheeks and looks at me, her bottom lip wobbling.

“I’m fucking this up, aren’t I?” she whispers, and I shake my head, bringing my arm around her, pulling her into my side.

“Never. This is not your fault and you’re doing amazing. We’ll get it all sorted out,” I say, tucking her head under my chin.

“Promise?”

“Yeah, baby, I promise,” I say, kissing the top of her head. Alice stiffens in my arms, and I mentally kick myself for letting the pet name slip. What is wrong with me?

I expect her to shove me off, tell me to leave, but she’s quiet. I hold my breath, hoping she lets me stay. Eventually she relaxes again, and I move my arm to her lap to clasp her hand. “Let’s go. I brought reinforcements,” I say, squeezing once before helping her up.

“You did?” she asks, looking up at me with hope. I reach out and brush her tears away with both my hands, letting my thumbs linger on the apples of her cheeks just a moment longer.

Of course, that’s the precise moment that Ash’s voice comes through the walkie-talkie in my pocket. “Love Guru here, we got all the decorations out of the boxes but need assistance with visuals. Over. Out.”

I bite my lip, suppressing my smile and watch as Alice’s face lights up. “Did he just call himself the Love Guru?”

With a vigorous nod, I say, “Absolutely, he did. He’s taking this job very seriously.”

A laugh breaks out of her, and I want to bottle it up and keep it for myself. It’s light and bubbly and everything I remember her to be. I can’t help the grin that takes over my face as she laughs again and again.

“Oh, Ash,” she says, wiping another tear—this one of joy.

“Would you like the walkie-talkie?” I ask, holding it out.

She gasps, and I raise an eyebrow at her. “I would be honored,” she says, her fingers brushing over my palm and sending a jolt of electricity through me.

“Love Guru, this is Hitchin’ Crew Leader. Rendezvous at the patio door in T minus one minute. Over. Out.”

“Fuck yeah, let’s gooo!” Ash says, followed by his signature call out.

“Let’s get this wedding back on track,” I say, leading the way to the rendezvous point.

As soon as Alice sees Ash and Eli, she immediately goes into planning mode, giving us all tasks.

Alex and Malia continue to work on the balloon arch, and it looks way better than what any of us could have conjured up.

By the time we need to go back and get dressed for pictures, the whole place is ready and we all have code names.

Ash is the Love Guru, Alice is the Hitchin’ Crew Leader , Eli got nicknamed Checklist Crusader by Ash, and Malia came up with Glam Squad for her and Alex.

As for me, I chose Fellowship of the Ring.

“Thank you for this. I couldn’t have pulled it off without help,” Alice says, stopping me with a hand on my forearm.

I swallow down more pet names and sweet nothings, refraining from telling her I’ll always answer when she calls. I know that’s not what she wants to hear. She’s made it clear she wants to put our past behind us. I smile instead and say, “Of course.”

Her blue eyes trace my face, and she takes a step towards me. I inhale a mix of her coconut shampoo and sweat and somehow manage not to grab her and kiss her. Fuck, I miss her so much.

She takes another step, then another, until her eyes are level with my collarbone, and she wraps her arms around my waist, resting her cheek on my heart.

I’m sure it’s beating wildly for her, and after a moment of shock at her embrace, I bring my own arms around her and pull her even closer.

I should keep this a friendly hug, but my fingers find the back of her head and tangle in her hair there, massaging her scalp.

Alice’s breath is hot against my thin T-shirt, and I think it’s time to put some distance between us, before I completely lose it and do something stupid, like kiss her.

My control slips anyway, and I kiss the top of her head instead, reluctantly letting her go. “C’mon, we don’t want to be late,” I say, leading us to the car.

Alice

The rest of the day went off without a hitch.

I managed to only cry three times during Robbie and Olivia’s vows.

And if I happened to look over and see Jordan crying too, well—that was just a bonus.

I wanted to keep on hating him, but the truth is, I can’t.

Not after being there when I needed him most today.

Ash and Malia stood to my right as Olivia’s other bridal party members, while Jordan, Eli, and Alex stood by Robbie. The pictures will no doubt look incredible, especially as half the guests are hockey players and coaches. I’ve never seen a room so full of beautiful people.

Michael, Robbie’s old Manticores coach, brought his son Josh, who is working over the summer at Blue Line Brigade, and his wife, Jen, who volunteered to take the pictures today. She worked for the Manticores for the longest time as their team photographer.

I tear up just thinking about what an incredible family Robbie has had in this team, in these people , over the years.

After Jordan and I give our speeches, along with Grams and my mom, the party begins and people are mingling both indoors, grabbing food, and outdoors, watching the sunset and enjoying a glass of wine. My job is done, and I can finally, blessedly, enjoy the night too.

I grab an entire tray of shots from the bar and make my way to our bridal party table. I wave Robbie and Olivia over, and they join us. The eight of us gather around the table and I hand out the shots, giving Ash a water cup, since he’s been sober for a year.

When I get to Olivia, she says, “None for me.” I do a double take and look between her and Robbie, seeing matching smiles on their faces.

Holy shit.

“Are you serious?” I ask, looking around the table, seeing everyone’s shocked expressions, the shots long forgotten.

Olivia nods and I scream, jumping up and down with joy. I’m going to be an aunt—again!

“Shh,” Robbie shushes me, placing a hand over my mouth. “No one else knows yet.”

I tamp down my excitement and hug my best friend. “I’m so happy for you guys,” I say, crying for the fourth time.

By the time I’m done dancing, my hair is a sweaty mess, I’m two drinks in, a little tipsy, and having the time of my life celebrating love.

“Love Guru , thank you for this dance,” I say, dropping in a curtsy in front of Ash.

He laughs and picks me up, spinning me around. “Anytime.”

A slow song starts up and everyone finds their partner, ready to sway together. I look towards the table, thinking I can maybe sit down and talk to Jordan, but a hand captures mine and gently pulls me back. I steady myself on his chest and can’t help the smile that shines for Jordan.

“May I have this dance?” he asks, leaning in to whisper in my ear.

I nod and bring both my hands around his neck, letting him lead me throughout the slow melody.

His hands are warm as they land on the small of my back where the cutout of my dress is.

Jordan’s thumbs sink into the flesh there, and I press myself closer to him.

He smells like red wine and a little hint of smoke from the bonfire that was started out back, and I revel in the feeling of having him this close again.

We could have had so many moments like this if he hadn’t broken up with me and moved so quickly. We could have found happiness in every text, every call, every conversation, and I don’t understand why he chose solitude. Maybe it’s time to hear him out.

“J, why did you leave so suddenly?” I ask, looking up at his clean-shaven face and twinkling brown eyes.

He blows out a breath and musters up a smile, but I can tell it’s weighed down by regret. “Are you sure you want to know now?”

I swallow and nod, so he continues, pulling me closer and whispering in my ear.

“The trade announcement messed with my head. It caught me by surprise, but the truth is, I already knew I wasn’t playing up to my potential.

I just expected a talk from my coach, not a trade at the end of the season.

I felt like I was letting everyone down and taking the blame for a lot of missed plays.

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I had nothing to offer you—and that scared me the most.”

“That’s not true, though,” I say, looking up at him again. How could he think that? “All I wanted was you, just as you are.”

Jordan sighs and our steps slow enough so that we’re just standing in the middle of the dance floor.

“I was too scared to be in a relationship with you, especially when I knew—” He pauses, biting down on his bottom lip and shaking his head.

I want him to tell me everything he’s thinking.

I want him to be honest. “I knew that I wasn’t good enough and I was scared that if we did long distance, I would find a way to fuck it up, just like I fucked up my career. ”

“J,” I sigh, my heart hurting for him. He’s more than good enough.

“I’m sorry for how I ended things, and I’m sorry for pushing everyone away. I hate it there and I’m so fucking lonely, all the damn time. I miss my family, and I want to come back.”

I nod, slowly trying to tease out his deeper meaning.

Perhaps he does still have some lingering feelings for me, but I can tell he’s not in a good place, mentally, to be in a relationship right now.

I lean my head on his chest and take a deep breath.

“Maybe someday,” I say, low enough that I’m not sure he hears me.