Page 4

Six Years Ago

Jordan

The arcade machine makes a mocking sound that I take very personally as I lose yet another game against Alice.

Smirking, she flips her long hair over one shoulder and leans in, one hand on her hip, the other extended in front of me, palm facing up. “Pay up, buddy,” she says, blue eyes sparkling.

I take a step closer and look down at her, reveling in the way she has to tilt her head up to keep her eyes on mine.

I place my hand in hers, palms touching, before pulling her in and twisting her around.

She leans into my chest and I lift her up by her middle, my free hand skimming the sliver of skin showing at her waist. Her feet kick up and she honest-to-god giggles, making my insides flutter.

Being around her has started to become a problem because she’s everywhere; she comes to all the Manticore games, she babysits my niece, she hangs out with me and Robbie after games.

At first it was a little awkward, and she seemed to keep her distance from me, especially when Jess was around. But after my ex broke up with me, I noticed Alice started hanging out around me more again. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t stay away from her. I don’t want to stay away from her.

“How did you beat me yet again? You don’t even like games that much.

Is it just birthday luck?” I huff as I set her down.

My fingers squeeze her narrow waist once before I notice Robbie making his way to us.

I quickly let go and take an involuntary step back.

She looks at me, confused, and I try not to stare at how pretty her pink lips are tonight.

“J, are you okay?” she asks right as Robbie pulls up to us and wraps an arm around each of us.

“This place turned out so great,” he says, words sounding a bit slurred. We’re at Michael and Tangela’s new restaurant, The Arcadian, celebrating Alice’s 21st birthday.

“Someone’s having fun,” Alice teases in a singsong voice. I expected her to go crazy tonight and get drunk, but she’s been carefully sipping on her fruity cocktail for the last hour.

“Guys, let’s do shots together,” Robbie says excitedly, and I laugh.

It’s been a while since he’s let loose and had some fun.

After Alex left the team to move to Quebec with his professional volleyball player girlfriend, Robbie ended up taking the mantle.

He’s done a fantastic job at being captain during his first season, but I can tell he’s changed.

Robbie used to be a lot more carefree, but with the new responsibility on his shoulders, he’s become more of an authoritative figure on the team, taking his job very seriously.

Alice giggles again and I swear I can feel the sound of her sweet voice right down to my core.

“All right, buddy, just one,” she says, and we follow Robbie to the bar.

I glance over at Alice and see she’s watching me with an intense look that’s quickly replaced by a smile.

I grin back and almost run into Robbie, not realizing he’s stopped.

“Do you think I’m doing a good job?” he asks as he signals to the bartender for three shots.

“What? As a captain?” Alice asks.

Robbie nods and she says, “Of course.”

When he looks at me earnestly, I shake my head and smile, saying, “You’re the best captain I’ve ever had.

” He rolls his eyes and shoves at my shoulder, but I’m not joking.

“Seriously, you’re the first one in the locker room and the last one to leave the arena.

You care about your teammates and make sure they’re in top shape physically and mentally before the game, and you’re always there when they need someone to talk to.

That’s huge, man. Alex was good, don’t get me wrong, but he had a different leadership style, you know?

He led by intimidation, which worked just fine, but you— you lead with your heart, and I think that’s more important. ”

By the time I’m done talking, Robbie picks up the shots, handing us each one. We knock them back and he wraps me up in a big hug, and even though we’re the same height and I’m slightly broader than him, it feels like he’s giving me a bear hug nonetheless.

“Aww,” Alice coos, and slithers inside our arms for a group hug.

“Thanks for being such a good friend. I’m really glad you’re part of the family now,” Robbie says, and all I can do is nod, swallowing the lump that’s stuck in my throat.

Would a good friend flirt with his best friend’s sister? Would he have the kind of thoughts I do?

I nod stiffly as we break the hug. “Yeah, sure. This place turned out amazing,” I say, referring to the newly built restaurant.

Robbie’s face brightens. “It’s so fucking cool. I’m happy they made this happen. This place is gonna be so special, I can feel it.” He hiccups and covers his mouth.

Alice meets my eyes and smiles wide.

Yeah, it’ll be special, all right.

Alice

We hang out at the bar well past closing time, my parents having brought in my favorite red velvet cake, my brothers popping open the champagne and bringing up stories of us growing up.

Tangela and Jordan are the only other people I wanted here tonight for this small celebration.

All the people I love, all in one place.

The champagne is sweet and bubbly as it hits my tongue. In my tipsy state, I realize that I can’t stop staring at Jordan. God, he’s so hot.

When my mom presents to me a slice of cake with a candle in it, I blow hard and wish for the same thing I’ve been wishing for the last few years. Jordan .

Maybe I’m too silly to think that anything would ever happen between us, but the more time we spend together, the more I realize that my greatest fear is losing him.

I’d rather have secret feelings for my brother’s best friend than have him out of my life.

My parents are the first to leave, then Michael and Tangela, since they have to get back home to my niece. That leaves Jordan, Robbie, and me, and we decide to take a cab back to Robbie’s house since none of us is in any condition to drive.

My brother sits up front and chats with the driver while Jordan and I keep our distance in the backseat. Jordan’s phone lights up with a text from Jess, his ex, and my stomach churns. Are they back together?

I let my curiosity get the best of me and I nod down at his phone, asking, “So, how are things with Jess? Did you two get back together?” I do my best to sound nonchalant, but my heart is beating a million miles a minute. Please say no.

“Nah, we decided to part ways for good. She’s looking for something … more,” he says softly, swiping away her text and giving me a half smile.

I mirror it and say, “Not that I knew her well, but—” I swallow hard, trying not to show my jealousy and hurt show at the fact that when I was being flirty with him, he told me he didn’t have time for a girlfriend, but then he started dating Jess. “I just think you deserve more too.”

Jordan holds my gaze for a moment and I try not to blink, memorizing the way he looks with the streetlights illuminating his handsome face. He looks like he was plucked from one of my romance novels—smoldering eyes, sharp jawline, and all that.

When we get to the house, Robbie manages to pour some water and kibble for the cats and passes out as soon as his head hits the pillow. I smile and close the door to his bedroom, letting him rest.

Back in the living room, Jordan is pulling open the sleeper sofa, but he straightens up when he sees me. “I figured you’d take the spare bedroom, so I’ll take the couch.”

I nod but walk up to him, helping to set it up. We work in companionable silence and our hands brush every now and then as we lay down a sheet and pillows.

“Did you have a good birthday?” he whispers as Caramel jumps up on the blanket, attacking it ferociously with his little orange paws, thinking there’s some monster underneath.

I laugh softly and give him a few pets as he tries to chomp on my fingers. “I had a great birthday. Thanks for coming, by the way.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it,” he says earnestly as his eyes trace every inch of my face. He does that a lot recently—openly studying me, so I take the time to do the same.

Jordan looks tired, but not in an exhausted type of way. His eyes are droopy and darker than their usual chocolate brown color, and his lips are soft.

“Are you ready to go to sleep?” I find myself asking. Jordan contemplates this for a second but shakes his head, and I smile. “Want to watch a movie instead?”

“Sure, birthday girl, I’ll make some popcorn while you pick one,” Jordan says. He moves to the kitchen, opening up a bag of buttery popcorn.

I put on a ‘90s romcom and expect Jordan to grumble something about how he hates chick flicks, but he doesn’t. He sits down and places the popcorn between us on the sofa bed and we spend most of the movie judging the characters’ choices and making fun of their outfits.

Somehow we drift closer together, maybe under the pretense that we need to whisper so that we don’t wake Robbie up, and I rest my head on Jordan’s shoulder. After a second of hesitation, he lifts his arm up and drapes it across my shoulder so that I can better fit next to him.

He smells woodsy, with a hint of the whiskey he drank earlier tonight, and I close my eyes against the essence of him.

“Thank you for an amazing birthday,” I say quietly, and look up at his face right as he looks down at mine.

My nose brushes his chin and he freezes to the spot, his fingers tightening on my shoulder.

I can hear him swallow, and decide to be a little brave.

If anything, I can always blame it on the alcohol.

I place my right hand on Jordan’s chest and lift up to bridge the gap, pressing my lips to the corner of his mouth, whispering, “You’re the best, J.”

When I pull back, I swear I can’t even hear him breathe. His eyes are glued to my mouth, and I am begging the universe that he’s taking the hint. That he’ll kiss me properly.

When he doesn’t, I lower my head back down to his chest and return my attention to the movie.

Jordan doesn’t say anything to me for the rest of the night, but when the movie ends, instead of sending me to the spare room, he repositions us and drags the blanket up to our necks.

His arms hold me tight the whole night through and I think I feel him kissing my forehead in the morning before he gets up and leaves the house, quiet as a mouse.