Page 24

August

Alice

I shut the door to my apartment and rest my forehead against it, closing my eyes.

How many times did I imagine him coming back?

Too many to count . And now that he’s here, I feel like I’m that awkward version of myself—running into him on the lakeshore.

How many times has he come back into my life only to disappear?

I don’t think I can take it again.

I’ve spent the majority of my life pining after him, only to briefly get a glimpse of what it would be like to be a couple.

But in the end, I was left with a broken heart.

At first I thought my feelings were unrequited so I pined silently, wishing that he saw me as more than Robbie’s little sister.

It was one thing to love him from a distance and suffer when I saw him date someone else.

It was a completely different kind of pain to have Jordan and know what he tastes like, what he feels like, only for him to end it between us like it meant nothing.

I wipe the tears off my face and harden my resolve for what’s to come. Now that he’s back, he’ll be in my life. We’re practically family, after all. But that doesn’t mean I want to see him every day, and he’ll quickly learn that.

My phone buzzes and I take it out of my back pocket. The message from Ash makes me smile the tiniest bit.

Ash

don’t think I forgot about your book i’ll stop by later tonight to take a peek …

Alice

Aw, you’re my biggest fan, Ash.

Ash

don’t you mean your only fan?

Alice

Wow, rude.

Ash

just kidding, love you blondie

I can always count on Ash to put a smile on my face. Once I change into my casual outfit of sweatpants and matching purple sweatshirt, I put the flowers I picked up at the farmers market in a vase with some water and grab my laptop.

What better way to let out my feelings than writing about them? After all, my romance novel inspiration came from my failed relationship with Jordan, so there’s a bright side to all this pain.

I never thought that my writing would be good enough to publish, but after taking a few creative writing classes, joining a group of local writers, and getting lots of feedback on my short stories, I decided to take a stab at it and write a full novel.

I dedicated most of my summer to writing it, and now that the school year has started, I’m back to teaching middle schoolers and figuring out how to publish my book in my spare time.

As a reader, I tend to pick up romances more than other genres, so when the time came for me to sit down and write an outline, I knew exactly what the story would be about.

A second chance romance featuring Elissa, a small-town flower shop owner who is hopelessly in love with her brother’s best friend, Jackson.

The two of them dated in high school, but through a twist of fate, Jackson had to leave town and take care of his elderly father in Colorado.

This left Elissa heartbroken, but they got the chance to reunite when Jackson’s dad died and he moved back to town.

Unlike real life, my characters do get their happy ending.

They say to write about what you know, after all.

One night, I felt bold and posted the premise of my novel and an aesthetic board to my social media, where I have tens of thousands of followers.

After that, people were practically begging for the whole story. My story .

So here I am, a year later, with a final manuscript in hand and anxiety about publishing it. Even if no one reads it, this story means so much to me, and it helped me process all of my feelings for Jordan. In a way, it’s really helped me begin to heal.

There’ll always be a Jordan-shaped hole in my heart.

Jordan

My feet refuse to cooperate, so I just stand there in front of the elevator contemplating every decision I’ve ever made. Alice is clearly still mad at me for not being able to come to town earlier this year, when Valerie—Robbie and Olivia’s daughter—was born.

After being traded and moving to Texas, I shut everyone in my life out.

All my friends and family, and especially Alice.

I thought that getting a clean break would be easier for the both of us.

But the truth is, as soon as I was on my own, I missed all of them.

My family. And Alice—I missed her the most.

Without realizing it, I had cut out the brightest light in my life and was left agonized in the gloomy darkness.

I tried to briefly explain why I couldn’t make it that weekend, but I downplayed my injury, not wanting any of them to pity me, not when they were celebrating the birth of Robbie and Olivia’s daughter.

Besides, Alice was too mad to hear me out.

I had made a promise to be there, for Robbie, for Olivia—for Alice, and I broke that promise.

I’m sure my injury seemed like an excuse, but the extent of it was much more complicated.

Robbie seemed understanding enough, and we’ve kept in touch on a semi-regular basis since then, though he does seem to have a lot on his plate now that he’s a dad.

And the truth is, I never told anyone how bad my injury really was, except for Ash.

When he and I reconnected last November, he was going through therapy, and I confided in him about how lonely and depressed I was feeling away from my family and friends.

He not only encouraged me to find a therapist, but he made me a priority, calling as often as he could to check in and make sure I was taking care of myself.

I get a twinge of pain in my hip and grit through it, making my way to the car to collect the last of my belongings.

Now that I’m back for good, I need to fix things between us. Not just with Alice, but with the rest of my friends too. And maybe, just maybe, I can win Alice back, one way or the other.

As much as I wanted to write off our story as something casual, things between us were so much more. Seeing her now is bringing back all the feelings that I didn’t let myself show back then. Even though I refused to acknowledge them, the truth is I loved her. I still do.

One thing that people have said about me is that I’m stubborn as hell. If I put my mind to something, I accomplish it. No matter what.

And I’m going to get her back.