Chapter 141 Classified Information

Suzuka corrected her question, saying, "No, I meant something different. Like having a goblin as a companion. You even mentioned that you wouldn't mind having one as a pet."

Lisanna pondered for a moment, her eyes narrowing in contemplation. Then, with a mischievous smile, she replied, her voice filled with an odd mix of fascination and amusement. "A goblin friend? Oh, heavens, no! That would be far too weird. But as a pet? Oh, yes, absolutely! They may be unattractive, but there's an undeniable charm in their comically grotesque appearances."

She described them in vivid detail, their hunched postures resembling contorted pretzels, their feeble little legs wobbling like gelatin, producing a moist clapping sound with each uncertain step. Lisanna couldn't help but chuckle at the image of those soft feet hitting the ground, creating a symphony of squelches.

"Their elongated faces, oh my, they're a sight to behold!" she continued, her voice tinged with delight. "With drooping tongues hanging out like overcooked noodles, they bear the pitiful expression of a neglected dog, as if they were cursed with some peculiar canine mental illness. Their heads twitch, their bulging eyes dart around erratically, and those unsettling smiles... they give off an eerie vibe that sends shivers down your spine."

Pausing for a moment, Lisanna's eyes lit up as she reached the pinnacle of her fascination. "But you know what's truly captivating? Their ears! Oh, those large, fleshy, elongated ears. They practically beg to be squeezed, don't you think? Just imagine the softness, the squishiness. It's an irresistible temptation, like a fluffy marshmallow ready to be devoured. They stretch out like oversized wings of flabby skin! I can only imagine the delightful sensation of sinking my fingers into those squishy appendages. Alas, I've never had the pleasure of experiencing it firsthand, but oh, the thought alone sends shivers down my spine!"

Lisanna concluded with a wicked chuckle, her eyes sparkling with a peculiar mix of revulsion and fascination. "So, my dear, if you ever come across a goblin pet, remember to give those elongated ears a good squeeze for me. I assure you, it will be an experience like no other!"

Suzuka asked, "I think I pass on squeezing his ears but what would you do if you had a goblin as a pet? How would you treat it?"

Lisanna, with amusement in her eyes, responded, "Well, well, well, if we're talking about a dim-witted goblin, I'd go all out on the entertainment factor! I'd transform that ugly creature into a pint-sized, playful little dog with floppy ears and a wagging tail. Oh, the hilarity that would ensue! I'd invite my friends over for a grand spectacle, where we'd throw bones and watch the goblin-turned-dog scurry on all fours, trying desperately to catch them. We would cheer and laugh as it tumble and trip over its own paws, bringing joy to our hearts!"

Her amusement turned devious as she continued, her voice dripping with mockery. "But if the goblin happens to possess a fraction of intelligence, well, that opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. I would assign it lowly tasks, like being a maid or a butler. Oh, the horror!"

Lisanna cackled, imagining the grotesque sight. "I'd dress that vile creature in a hideous little maid's dress, accentuating its revolting features. Can you imagine the spectacle? A goblin clumsily dusting furniture or serving tea, its greenish-gray skin peeking out from beneath the frilly lace? It would be a hilarious sight!"

Her laughter subsided momentarily as she continued with an air of mock sophistication. "But let's not stop there. No, no. In the realm of absurdity, we must go all the way! I'd dress the goblin in a ridiculously tiny butler suit, complete with a bowtie and a tailcoat that strains against its misshapen form. Just imagine the audacity of a well-dressed goblin, approaching you with a tray of drinks, attempting a courteous bow, and saying in the most abominable, goblin-esque voice, 'Hello, my lady. May I serve you a drink to your liking? Ahem.'"

They both burst in to laugh at Lisanna's joke and Suzuka said, "Yeah, that would be a sight to behold."

Suzuka and Lisanna's conversation lasted a bit longer, and after a while, Larry and Wara, the guild master, descended from the second floor. They walked over to the main reception desk where Lisanna was.

With a commanding tone that demanded attention, the guild master said, "May I have the attention of everyone present in the room! I need everyone's attention for some important matters raised by the Ruler of this town himself. Our guild has been tasked with sheltering and protecting an important individual. This individual possesses classified information, and it is crucial that we prevent any harm from coming to him."

Wara carefully took Hermit out of Larry's backpack and placed him on the reception desk. Hermit's head playfully twitched, his eyes darted from one person to another, and his arms trembled as he fidgeted with his hands, uncertain whether to keep them together or place them on the table. His slim, scrawny legs dangled while swinging back and forth, adding a playful element to his demeanor. Hermit's face twisted grotesquely as he struggled to decide whether to force a smile or not. His tongue stuck out and swung around as he shook his head, curiously observing his unseen surroundings while his cheeks received light slaps from the movement. With each turn of his head, his big, long, meaty ears smacked against the sides of his head with a wet clap.

Hermit was dressed in a sleeveless, brown tunic crafted from rough fabric, which covered his form. The sight was horrifying, but strangely enough, nobody seemed too surprised to see a goblin perched on the desk. Perhaps it was because the guild master had spoken, and when the guild master spoke, nobody dared to complain. Even David, sitting in the corner, clenched his fists and gritted his teeth in disbelief that the grotesque goblin was still alive, despite the fact that he squashed him like a bug.

The guild master declared, "I see no complaints, good. Now, I want this goblin alive. Therefore, I shall assign him protection. Of course, protection comes at a price, and you will be compensated. Have no worries. So, who among you wishes to guard him today? Who will be the first to volunteer?"

However, in a sudden turn of events, most of the assembled adventurers suddenly remembered urgent quests awaiting their attention or other pressing matters that required their immediate presence and bailed like rats from a sinking ship. Suzuka stood up and tried to stealthily sneak away but Wara's hand landed on her shoulder and said in an intimidating cheerful voice, "Helen, how about giving it a go? Hmmm? You seem rather free on time."

Suzuka attempted to wiggle her way out, stuttering, "Umm... ahh... I... have... umm... some urgent matters to attend to. Larry, you should babysit him; he's your buddy."

Larry responded, "I'm afraid I can't today. I have to meet with the client, inform them, pick up the promised coins, and deliver them to you. I'll be busy for the rest of the day. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go." Larry walked out of the guild, leaving Hermit behind.

However, Wara persisted, saying, "As you can see, Larry can't look after the goblin. So what kind of urgent matters do you need to attend to? What's so important?"

Suzuka struggled to come up with an excuse, but her mind drew a blank. "Umm, you know. Like business, personal stuff."

Wara continued to press, "Really now, and you're definitely not trying to evade my request? Okay then, how about you, David?"

With a mere utterance of his name, Hermit's body trembled uncontrollably as he toppled off the table, crashing to the ground with a wet clap that resembled the painful sound of a beefy slab of meat hitting the floor. Desperately, he scuttled on all fours towards Suzuka, his limbs trembling, his movements unsteady, as he wrapped himself around her leg and clutched onto her thigh, his grip feeble yet desperate. It felt like a big wet frog slapped on her leg. He pressed his face against her leg, his tongue licking her thigh, rubbing his face against it with a mixture of submission and affection, seeking comfort and protection.

In a voice choked with fear and vulnerability, Hermit pleaded, "Please, Master Helen. Larry, he told me about your countless acts of saving me. I pray to you, shield me from the clutches of David. I beg of you, do not let him draw near me. I beg you to be my savior, to rescue me from this tormentor. Hermit will fall on his knees if must. I humbly plead for your protection."

But she was disgusted by Hermit's act and grabbed him by his long, meaty, soft ears, peeling him off her thigh. Then she plopped him back on the table, saying, "Ew! Stop licking me, you freak. At least ask before you do it. Nobody will harm you. Calm your ugly face from twitching and pull that grotesque tongue back in. You're freaking me out. Jeez."

Wara glanced at Suzuka, confused by the conversation. "What on earth is he blabbering about? David supposedly saved him from an angry mob by pretending to be a heartless tormentor, taking all the hatred upon himself. Look at that goblin, not a single scratch on him. They must have put on quite the convincing act to pull that off."

Suzuka, feeling uneasy about revealing the truth and seeing a chance to dump Hermit on to David nervously chuckled and responded, "Um, yeah! Hooray for David, the goblin savior and actor. They're like the best of buddies. Maybe we should leave Hermit in David's care since they're such good friends."

Wara turned towards David, questioning, "Is that so? Perhaps we should."

However, Hermit suddenly leaped from the table into Suzuka's embrace and hugged her waist, his gross face twisted in fear and horror, tears welling up in his bulging eyes as he pleaded for mercy. "Please... please... please... not with him... please, Master, not with him! Please!"

Wara gazed at the pitiful goblin and stated, "Well, it seems like he's more fond of you. Looks like you'll have to be his guardian after all. Alright then, with that settled, I'll be in my office if any urgent matters arise. Take care of him."

Wara walked off to his office, leaving Hermit dangling from Suzuka's waist. He weakly thanked her as he clumsily rubbed his face against her belly, trying to show his gratitude. However, Suzuka didn't appreciate the gesture and swiftly peeled him off, grabbing onto his meaty ears and forcefully slapping him onto the table. Hermit's bottom took the force of the impact, causing him to cry out in pain.

"Oucheee! M-m-master, my bum-bum. It harms, ouweeee poor is me! Oucheee!" he whimpered, rubbing his sore behind and desperately seeking some relief.