Chapter 200 Feeling A Little Tipsy

Hermit sat in the chair, hunched and dejected, his once trembling limbs now rendered limp. His big, mournful eyes remained downcast, the tears in his eyes welled up but remained unshed, his ears drooping like wilted leaves. In the presence of his master, the goblin had longed for a hint of compassion, a flicker of warmth, but it was not forthcoming.

Suzuka, true to her demeanor, couldn't conceal her indifference. She took a sip of her beer, ignoring the pitiful goblin's silent pleas, her eyes scanning the room in search of the man who hurt the goblin.

 Hermit's heart ached with a longing so intense that it seemed to stretch far beyond the reach of his tiny, hunched body. His every fiber yearned for the cherished warmth of gobbie friends, for those moments when he was enveloped by the cozy, grubby little arms of his goblin buddies.

In his mind, he could picture their precious round faces, each one with its unique charm. Their grubby little hands, always covered in a delightful mishmash of stains and dirt, seemed to reach out to him in his memory.

David, emboldened by the alcohol he'd consumed, couldn't help but find the pitiful goblin's plight somewhat amusing. He chuckled and jeered, "Well, I hope you're grateful! You shit-eating goblin! Enjoy your little beer adventure!"

Jacob, eager to join in on the jesting, playfully clinked his tankard against Hermit's, his grin widening, "Cheers, little goblin! Welcome to the world of booze. Give it another shot! You'll feel much better and warmer! Don't be shy! Gobble that beer!"

In response to their light-hearted teasing, Hermit, still shivering but eager to please, attempted a weak, forced smile, his trembling lips barely contorting into a semblance of gratitude. Despite the hardships he'd endured, he didn't want to appear ungrateful. Summoning what little courage he could muster, he stood up on his chair, wobbling slightly, and peered down into the tankard. His large, curious eyes peered inside, revealing the golden liquid adorned with a frothy white crown. Gingerly, he dipped his sniffer, a curious combination of a snout and nose, into the tankard. Hesitantly, he inhaled the pungent aroma. A tickling sensation coursed through his sensitive nose, causing him to recoil in fear, his sniffer twitching with discomfort.

Jacob playfully swatted Hermit's back, encouraging him, "Give it a try! Don't be shy! This will make you forget all the bad things that happened to you and make you feel much better!"

With suspicion, Hermit leaned closer to the tankard, his elongated tongue, like a hesitant serpent, slithered out of his maw, inching towards the foamy surface. He tentatively lapped at the liquid a few times, his lips smacking together as he began to chomp his mouth, a mix of clicking and slurping coming from his unsightly maw. The taste was a curious mixture of disgust and discomfort for Hermit, but the warmth it spread throughout his body and the lingering aftertaste tempted him to indulge further.

Driven by the curious combination of warmth and the lingering aftertaste in his mouth, Hermit couldn't help himself but dive headlong into the tankard, his goblin instincts overriding his better judgment. As he gulped and gurgled his way through the beer, his tongue darted in and out, creating a grotesque symphony of sounds, "Greeeeh! Mmmmblee! More tasty burny! Yum-yum-owwch!"

Jacob leaned over to Suzuka and whispered with a grin, "I don't think I've ever seen a goblin enjoy a drink so much, have you?"

Suzuka, who still cared little for Hermit's wellbeing, shrugged and responded, "No idea, Jacob. I don't go around drinking with Monster. But hey! I guess he's your new drinking buddy now."

Hermit clutched the giant tankard treating it like his newfound best friend, his arms wrapped around it like a child hugging a teddy bear. His oversized, floppy ears bounced with every movement as he happily lapped at the beer, his mumblings a cheerful symphony of nonsense, "Glubby-glob! Tasty-wasty! Munchy-quenchy!" he mumbled in delight, his goblin logic decipherable only to himself.

With Hermit absorbed in his newfound love for beer, Jacob turned his attention to a now thoroughly tipsy David, who launched into a bizarre conversation filled with outlandish nonsense. They laughed uproariously at each other's absurd remarks, thoroughly lost in the world of intoxication. Meanwhile, Suzuka, her enhanced physique rendering her impervious to the effects of alcohol, sipped her beer with an air of detached amusement. She watched with a wry smile as David and Jacob stumbled through their drunk banter.

As Jacob and David continued with their merrymaking, their attention occasionally wandered toward Hermit, who sat forlornly on his chair with a tankard in his embrace. They couldn't help but chuckle at the goblin's helplessness, drawing amusement from his pitiful existence. Jacob leaned over to David and whispered with a smirk, "I've seen some sorry goblins in my time, but this one might take the cake. Ain't got a single ounce of fight in him, does he?"

David, equally entertained by Hermit's plight, nodded in agreement.

 "Pathetic little shit-eating creature, isn't he? I'd say we should try to toughen him up, but he'd probably shatter into pieces with the first slap."

Suzuka's indifference remained unwavering as she ordered another round of drinks for herself and her company. With a resigned sigh, she muttered under her breath, "I can't believe I'm stuck babysitting this useless goblin with two pathetic drunks." Her gaze briefly flickered toward Hermit, who was happily lapping at his beer, but her eyes remained cold and devoid of any pity or sympathy.

"Glorkle! Gurgle! More tasty sippies!" he yelled, frothy beer dribbling down his chin, his childlike delight undiminished. He had truly descended into unchecked goblin glee.

David chimed in with an exaggerated grin, "Hic! Hey, Jacob, do you think we could teach Hermit to sing? I bet he'd sound hilarious!"

Jacob guffawed, his voice tinged with intoxication, "Hahaha! Sing, Hermit? I'd love to hear that!"

Hermit lost in his intoxicated state, let out a series of befuddled yells, his tongue flailing as he attempted to contribute to the conversation, "Gobby sing! Flimpety-flam! No slap! Me likey beer! Hic! Me likey sing!"

As the beer coursed through Hermit's diminutive form, a giddy notion overtook him, and he began to sing, his words taking the form of a tipsy, nonsensical goblin song. His voice was high-pitched and wavering.

"Goblin in the night, we take a little bite, Of mushrooms, roots, and slimy bugs, oh what a sight! With pointy ears and wobbly feet, we dance and prance, Underneath the moon's pale light, in a drunken trance!"

As the night wore on, Hermit's drunken state became more pronounced. His goblin senses were overwhelmed by the effects of the beer, and he started to engage in increasingly peculiar behavior. He hopped on his chair, clumsily swaying on his feet, and attempted to mimic a dance by flailing his limbs in all directions. His movements resembled an odd mix of a wobbly marionette and a tipsy sailor trying to find his sea legs.

"Look, look!" he blurted, his words slurred and senseless. 

"Hermit dancin'! Dancy-dancy goblin!" His eyes glazed over, his meaty ears flopped like wilted leaves, and his tongue hung out, swaying as he stumbled and twirled in uncoordinated loops.

Suzuka, still maintaining her detached amusement, couldn't help but shake her head at the absurdity of the situation. 

"This is what happens when you introduce a goblin to beer," she mused, more to herself than to her companions.

Jacob and David, their drunkenness reaching new heights, found Hermit's antics thoroughly entertaining. Jacob clapped his hands together in glee, shouting, "Hahaha! Bravo, Hermit! The goblin with the moves!"

David joined in, mimicking Hermit's flailing dance, "Yeah, Hermit, teach us your dance moves! I want to see the 'Goblin Shuffle'!"

As the night wore on, Hermit's drunken antics escalated to new levels of absurdity. With a clumsiness that rivaled his earlier attempts at dancing, he seized two tankards from the table, one in each hand, and lifted them to his lips. The goblin took greedy gulps from one tankard, savoring the frothy beer, and let out a belch that echoed through the raucous tavern.

But Hermit wasn't content with just one belch. With the second tankard in hand, he repeated the process, taking another greedy gulp and letting out a belch that was even louder than the first. This time, the force of the belch was so intense that it caused some of the beer to spray onto the table, creating a small, frothy mess.

As Hermit's drunken revelry continued, he found himself growing bolder, believing he could match David and Jacob in their beer-drinking prowess. Without hesitation, the goblin tilted his head back and took an eager, uncoordinated gulp from one tankard.

 However, his already full belly could not handle the sudden inflow of alcohol. With a spluttering cough, he spewed out a frothy spray of beer, covering the table, Jacob and David in a sticky mess.

Jacob and David were too drunk to care or get angry and burst into a maniacal laugh.

Undisturbed by the first failed attempt, Hermit didn't learn his lesson. Instead, he hastily moved to the other tankard and took another greedy gulp, thinking that perhaps this time he could manage it better. Yet, the result was the same - another violent coughing fit and another spray of beer, this time even more boisterous than the first.

Jacob and David burst into uncontrollable laughter again, unable to contain their amusement at the goblin's foolishness.

Hermit's antics had gone from amusing to revolting in the blink of an eye. His greedy gulps and belches, combined with the beer-spraying spectacle, had pushed Suzuka to her limit.

 With a look of utter disgust and irritation, she couldn't tolerate the goblin's filthy behavior any longer. In one swift and forceful motion, she brought her clenched fist down on Hermit's head, striking him with enough strength to make him bounce and flop on his chair.