Page 64 of Chaos Theory

SIXTY-ONE

‘So this is what a honeymoon suite looks like.’

I take in the four-poster bed, the free-standing claw-foot tub, the gauzy drapes on the bay window of The Matchmaker Hotel, Lisdoonvarna.

This is where we were supposed to stay on the last night of our road trip to Clare, before Kobi decided to sacrifice himself for Lizzie.

It was only two weeks ago, but it feels like a lifetime.

Over an early dinner with the Farmers, we celebrated Kobi’s reawakening with cautious optimism.

His initial responses look good, but it’s too soon to tell if his new form will work out the way we hope.

We agreed that we should stay close tonight and check on Kobi in the morning.

Josh is staying at the Farmers’ guesthouse, but Shane wanted to bring me here, and I let him.

He goes over to the window. It’s dark outside so there’s not much to see, but I know the Burren is out there, quietly persisting through the ages.

‘I hope you don’t think the hotel is too much,’ he says with his back to me. ‘The management were disappointed we never got to stay here. And to be honest’ – he turns around to face me – ‘so was I.’

I go to him. He pulls me in and I fold myself into him. I look up into his eyes and smile.

‘I’m so tired,’ I say with a laugh.

His lips meet mine. I melt further into him.

‘Wait,’ I say. I pull back a little. ‘There’s something I keep meaning to ask. Were you and Sandra ever… Did you and Sandra… What do you think of Sandra Smith?’

He smiles down at me, still holding me in an embrace. ‘Sandra is a very capable member of the Social Committee.’

I laugh, happy with the answer.

He releases me from his arms. ‘Oh, I nearly forgot. I got you something. Hang on.’

I sit on a low red velvet couch and watch him go to his suitcase. He comes back with a shoe box, plonks it on the table in front of me. He sits beside me.

‘Open it,’ he says.

I take the lid off. Inside is a single white Converse shoe. I hold it up and rotate it. I look among the tissue papers in the box for the other shoe, but it’s not there.

‘What’s this?’

‘To replace the one you lost,’ he says. ‘The one you left behind. In Chicago.’

I make a sound that could be a laugh or a cry.

‘This is…’ I begin, but I can’t finish the sentence.

There have been so many goodbyes. So many beginnings and endings, so few middles.

He returns to his suitcase and comes back to me with another shoe. He puts it on the table.

‘Obviously I had to buy the pair. I’m not going to give you just one shoe. But it’s, you know, symbolic or whatever.’

I stare at the shoe. ‘This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten. Thank you. When did you buy them? ’

‘I got them after our road trip. I couldn’t find the right time to give them to you though.

I did think about doing it that night you came to my house to tell me about your insane Kobi-rescue plan, but I thought it might make you more upset.

I’m very glad, by the way, that we don’t have to go through with your no-contact plan now. ’

‘Me too,’ I say. ‘I know it must have sounded crazy. Thanks for going along with it all the same.’

‘Maeve, I’d do anything for you. You must know that. You must have known I always liked you.’

‘But we were so casual.’

‘That was your choice. I went along with it so as not to spook you. You were like a beautiful, skittish horse that might bolt at any minute. I hoped that eventually you’d…’

‘Want a stable relationship?’ I can’t help myself.

We both start laughing.

‘Kind of,’ he says eventually. ‘I just want to be around you all the time.’

I climb into his lap. I nuzzle into his neck, like the beautiful wild thing that I am. ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ I say.

He kisses me.

‘Good. Let’s not go anywhere together.’

I kiss him back, then point across the room.

‘Except maybe to that bed over there.’

He scoops me up and carries me over to the bridal bed. I think about making a joke about bridles or riding, but instead I focus on his face, his eyes on mine, my hands clasped around his neck.

I won’t ruin the moment.