Page 18 of Chaos Theory

EIGHTEEN

I’ve made sure to arrive early for the staff meeting today. As I settle Kobi near the front of the Shannon Suite, I confidently tell him to expect a significant announcement at the meeting.

‘Hang on to your motherboard. I think what you’ll hear will blow you away.’ My upbeat tone is meant to reassure both of us.

Kobi is fully back to normal, if normal is what he was before his misadventure on Thursday night.

The liquid in his systems turned out to be seventy per cent proof alcohol – a fact that actually sped along his recovery.

Alcohol evaporates faster than water, so Kobi dried out quite quickly once the air got to him.

How he got wet in the first place is still a mystery.

I feel like people have been avoiding me since.

Shane maintains he doesn’t know what happened, and I’ve no reason not to believe him.

And Kobi himself couldn’t provide any answers because everything he recorded that night was wiped away, along with the liquid.

While Kobi was in limbo, Josh and I had a long talk. Should I worry that Josh kept a vital piece of information from me? Maybe. Do I understand why he did it? Sort of.

On the upside, he said he’d do his best to keep Ron from hearing about the Phelan’s incident.

Implied that Ron isn’t very involved in the day-to-day.

‘More of a big picture kind of guy,’ he said.

There’d be no need to bring it to his attention, especially if Kobi made a full recovery and even more especially if Kobi made good progress over the next few weeks at Go Ireland.

He said he’d call JP and put in a good word for me.

JP is similarly not a day-to-day kind of boss, but there was no way he wouldn’t hear about the Phelan’s excursion.

While Josh didn’t specifically ask me not to share the PHI incident with anyone, I haven’t decided yet if I should talk about it openly.

Kobi’s already on the back foot here. It would only make people more wary of him.

And I plan to keep him under supervision at all times.

Josh showed me Kobi’s manual override switch in case I ever need it.

‘Trade you a PHI for a Phelan’s,’ I told Josh, half joking. ‘Mutually assured destruction.’

So we decided on a few things together. One of those being that if Kobi was going to stay at Go Ireland, he’d need some upgrades.

Like a waterproof cover. Josh said he’d work on something so Kobi could be around liquids, maybe even be outside when it’s raining.

We also agreed we needed to shake things up a bit.

‘Now, Kobi,’ I say as our colleagues begin to drip-feed into the room. ‘I need to ask you something before the meeting.’

‘Of course. How can I help you today?’ Eager to help, as usual .

‘You know that compliance report you’re working on for Sandra in HR?’

‘Sandra Smith. Yes.’ Too eager, some might say .

‘You can’t file the report.’

‘Yes, I can.’

I scan the room, wave at Duncan Canning. I try to keep my voice low and even. ‘I mean, I don’t want you to file the report, Kobi.’

‘I am afraid that will not be possible, Maeve. Sandra Smith has requested the report. The report must be delivered.’

‘Let’s just say…it would be in everybody’s best interests if you didn’t deliver it.’ I consider patting my finger alongside my nose, maybe winking. But these subtle signals may be beyond him.

‘The report shall be completed and filed as agreed upon. Is this some kind of test, Maeve? To see if my efficiency remains at the same level as before?’

Maybe it wouldn’t have been the end of the world if Kobi hadn’t woken up on Friday morning . I groan, decide on a different approach. ‘Okay, so the report is not yet completed. I can work with that. New request incoming.’

‘I am all audio sensors,’ he says. Is it possible that Kobi is enjoying himself?

‘Sandra never gave you a definitive date for filing the report, did she? You may file the report in eight weeks’ time, but no sooner. Do you understand? Can you do that for me?’

‘Yes, of course, Maeve. I am calculating the date for submission right now.’

I exhale, feel myself relax a little. That report can never see the light of day. It’s not going to win anyone any popularity contests. ‘Okay, glad we’re on the same page, finally. Glad you don’t need to know the reason why.’

‘I do not. Of course, I may make my own internal postulation. Perhaps this timeline is to enable more data-gathering. I have already noted twenty-seven compliance violations since Wednesday. It is indeed a shame that my recording from Phelan’s Bar and Grill was erased, as there may be a gap in the data.

Perhaps you could tell me, Maeve, if any compliance violations occurred at that location?

‘What? Oh, um, nothing of note,’ I tell him with a smile.

Sandra makes her way to the top of the room. She’s carrying a company-branded water bottle. She looks immaculate, as always, but there’s something jittery in her manner.

‘Good morning, everyone, good morning. Right, settle down. JP has asked me to lead this meeting today as he can’t make it.’

Some low-volume whispering starts among my colleagues .

Sandra speaks louder. ‘But – we have some important things to announce today.’

The room goes quiet.

‘First of all, I think we all owe Kobi a massive apology for Thursday, yeah?’ She looks at me, gives me a subtle nod. ‘Even though we don’t exactly know what happened, I think we can all agree that it shouldn’t have happened. We’re very relieved to see you looking so well, Kobi.’

‘Thank you,’ says Kobi. ‘You are looking well too.’

I hear a snort-laugh from somewhere near the back of the room. I gesture to Kobi to be quiet.

Sandra continues. ‘So, Kobi, on behalf of everyone, I want to apologise. Come on, guys, I want you all to say sorry with me now, please. Remember what I said in my email.’

Voices murmur around the room.

‘Sorry, Kobi.’

‘Soz, mate.’

‘Sorry.’

‘Wait for it…’ I whisper to Kobi.

‘Now,’ says Sandra. ‘I have an announcement to make.’ She takes a deep breath and delivers the next bit at speed. ‘Following the events of Thursday evening, HR has decided to implement a proactive employee well-being programme, specifically in relation to extracurricular social activity.’

‘What does all that mean?’ Dave calls out.

‘It means…’ Sandra takes a swig from the bottle.

‘Our new Social Committee will be organising a series of events, here on site. Representatives from several departments will be co-opted – I mean, invited – onto the committee. Food and drink will be provided at events. I mean, soft drinks will be provided.’

The sound of whispering around the room goes up and down like someone trying to tune in an old analogue radio.

‘These events will commence at four p.m., starting this Wednesday. We’ll aim to do one event a week for the next few weeks. ’

Julia calls out from the back, ‘Do we have to go?’

‘Attendance is not compulsory, no,’ says Sandra. ‘If you wish to remain at your desk instead, that’s fine. And – listen, please, everybody – Kobi, we would very much like you to attend these events. You’ll be made very welcome, do you understand?’

Kobi turns his head towards me. I nod for him to respond. ‘Yes,’ he says. ‘Thank you.’

After the meeting, people stand around in clumps, enquiring after each other’s weekends, reluctant to face the desk-reality of the working week.

Shane comes up to me. I didn’t see him at all on Friday. I was busy taking care of Kobi and he was still on gift shop duty. He texted me every hour asking for Kobi updates, until I told him to stop.

‘Well,’ he says now by way of greeting. He looks refreshed, clean-shaven. ‘Glad to see Kobi seems to be back to…normal?’

‘We’ll see. We’re taking it one day at a time.’ I’m not sure who exactly I mean by we. I suddenly realise I don’t want to tell him everything Josh and I talked about on Thursday.

I glance around the room. Dave shoots me a dirty look, then resumes his conversation with Julia.

‘No one’s said anything to you about what happened in Phelan’s, I take it?’ I ask Shane.

‘Sorry,’ he says. ‘No one knows anything, apparently.’

He accompanies us towards the door, opens it for Kobi to go through ahead of us.

‘You were right about one thing though,’ I say as the door closes behind us.

He smiles. ‘Always a bonus. What was that?’

‘What you told Kobi. After-work socialising is a good way to get to know people. For them to see you…differently.’ I smile back. ‘And things were going well in Phelan’s, up to a point. Hence the new Social Committee events. ’

‘Hence? Are you saying this was your doing?’

‘Keep your voice down!’ I elbow him in the ribs as we walk the corridor. ‘Kind of.’

In the early hours of Friday morning, I made a plan with Josh for how to accelerate Kobi’s integration.

We settled on two big priorities for the next few weeks: Kobi needs to meet co-workers in a social setting, and he needs to get a hell of a lot better at socialising.

If he can do both, it’ll kick off a virtuous circle and he might just have a chance of fitting in.

We’ve reached the elevator. ‘Kobi, why don’t you go ahead and go up to the second floor? Shane and I will take the stairs. I’ll meet you up there in a minute. Don’t touch anything.’ I press the call button for the second floor so that Kobi and the elevator don’t need to interact.

As the doors close, I turn to Shane. ‘I had to go to HR on Friday morning, to explain the Phelan’s incident. Get out in front of it. I was half expecting to be fired on the spot.’

‘I’m glad you weren’t,’ he says. ‘It was my idea. You could have blamed it on me.’

‘Thanks,’ I say. ‘That’s sound of you. But it was mostly my fault. You’re only about ten per cent to blame.’

He laughs. ‘That sounds like one of Kobi’s calculations.’

We start up the stairs together. ‘So when I realised I wasn’t getting fired, I suggested that Kobi would get along better if he could get to know people in a’ – I use air quotes – ‘“controlled environment”. Something social, but safe. I threw in that Sandra might not like the results of Kobi’s compliance report either.

Might cause a lot of HR headaches. I may have implied that I could make the compliance report go away.

’ I move my hands through the air to demonstrate what the disappearance of a report looks like.

‘Wow, look at you being all proactive and greasing the wheels of power.’

I laugh.

‘Oh, there’s one last thing,’ I say as we arrive at the second floor. ‘I might have volunteered you to join the new Social Committee. Consider it a payment to make up for your ten per cent.’