Page 33 of Chaos Theory

THIRTY-ONE

I open my eyes to find Kobi standing over my bed. It takes me a minute to remember where I am and why.

‘Hey, what’s up?’ I mumble from within the many folds of the deluxe duvet. For some reason I was dreaming about marshmallows. ‘And does it mean I have to get up?’

‘Well, maybe tonight you can sleep in his room.’ I turn away, burrow my head further into the pillow. I measure the quality of hotel beds by pillow width. This one is three pillows wide – top marks. I turn back towards Kobi and sigh. ‘I’m just kidding.’

I clamber out of the bed and stretch. A slight movement in his mechanical neck lets me know that Kobi is scanning me from head to toe.

I look down at myself. I packed in a scramble on Tuesday, and last night discovered that I’ve only brought one nightdress on this trip, and an inappropriately sexy one at that, with sheer lace panelling down the sides and tiny black ribbons dotted along a plunging neckline .

Yes, Kobi is a machine, and most of his visual observations aren’t stored for more than a few hours before being deleted, but still, I’m not exactly comfortable being observed like this.

‘Go and look out the window, will you? Just give me a few minutes to get my act together.’

I’m mulling over whether I made the right decision to bring Kobi on this trip when my phone dings. It’s Josh.

Hey. Sorry, just seeing all your messages now. Okay – you had no choice, I suppose. Just try to keep a low profile while you’re there, okay? I’ll be back next week. Look forward to catching up, xo

I exhale my relief. I also get a little tingle from seeing that ‘xo’.

I hit the shower to assess if it’s on par with the bed.

As power jets acupuncture my skin, the benefit of ten hours’ sleep starts to kick in.

Maybe this trip won’t be so bad after all?

Josh is on board now, and Kobi – although a little nervous – seems up for it.

An opportunity to learn, he called it, after I explained the itinerary in detail again before he went into sleep mode last night.

I draw a smiley face in the steam on the glass. Even my anger at Shane is starting to evaporate. Kobi told me his version of events and, while Shane shouldn’t have taken Kobi out of the building without asking me first, he didn’t mean to cause any harm.

I dry off, slip my nightdress back on and re-enter the bedroom, head bowed as I towel-dry my hair. ‘Hey, Kobi, I wonder what’s for breakfast.’

‘They have eggs Benedict on the menu,’ says Shane’s voice. He turns from the window where he’s standing next to Kobi and clocks me. ‘Oh, sorry! Kobi let me in. He told me you were dressed.’ He hurries towards the door, a big smile on his face.

‘Is it not correct to say that Maeve is wearing a dress?’ says Kobi, unhelpfully drawing even more attention to my near-nakedness.

Shane laughs, his back to me. ‘Sorry again. See you downstairs for breakfast.’ As the door closes, I hear him call out, ‘Looking good, McGettigan!’

9:30am

Shane skilfully manoeuvres the Jeep out of a tight space in the hotel car park. ‘Ready to hit the road? Not literally, Kobi.’ He seems to be in a good mood.

I’m grateful he’s happy to be chauffeur on this trip.

He keeps the Jeep so he can ferry around the lads from his hurling team and regularly visit his extensive family in Limerick.

He told me the names of his siblings once, but I knew I probably wouldn’t have to remember them so I kind of zoned out after the first three or four.

Something like Saoirse, Eoin, Rónán…maybe?

I wonder, once again, if I should learn to drive. Every time I get back from a work trip, I do my one-woman show for colleagues: Ireland is not a country designed for those without their own transport. Still, I don’t see myself living outside a city anytime soon.

‘What did you think of the hotel?’ I ask. ‘Are we going to give them a good rating?’

‘Five stars from me. Great bed, great shower, great breakfast. Friendly staff. They took Kobi in their stride, didn’t they, Kobe?’

‘Affirmative,’ says Kobi. He seems to be in a good mood too. I’ve noticed that he only uses the more robotic term for yes when he’s in the company of people who know him well. Like he doesn’t have to try so hard to use human idioms around us.

‘Will I put on the satnav?’ I say. ‘This Burren walk is not too far, but it’s all country roads around here.’

‘Maeve, please,’ says Kobi. ‘Do not insult me. In 500 metres, turn left.’

It’s impossible to have a conversation while Kobi broadcasts the directions, but I’m happy to look out the window and not talk. I find Kobi’s voice soothing, especially when he seems to be enjoying himself. Being helpful while performing a straightforward task is when he’s most at ease .

After about ten minutes of navigating narrow roads with tall hedgerows, Shane pulls the Jeep off the road and into a compact car park marked with a large wooden sign: Welcome to the Burren. I get out and inhale the morning air while Shane helps Kobi exit the vehicle.

The vastness of the rocky Burren landscape stretches out before me, flat grey stones reflecting the sun. Low stone walls skirt the perimeter – each misshapen rock hefted by hand aeons ago and carefully nestled with its fellows, nothing keeping them together but dependence on each other.

This place is 350 million years old, and I’ve only visited it once before, when a gang of us from college came here for a weekend.

My friend Becka had two obsessions: Japan and botany.

She insisted that we call it a ‘field trip’, even though no one was getting course credit for it.

Between the flat limestone rocks, small purple and white flowers bunch together in narrow grooves that Becka told us are called grikes.

I recall how excited she was to recognise some of these plants ‘in the wild’ – bloody cranesbill, rustyback, hart’s-tongue fern.

Man, what a dork she was. An adorable dork.

She’s in Japan now, according to her socials, in pursuit of the original Japanese gardens. I miss her sometimes.

I point ahead to an open field where the Burren walk officially begins. Shane and Kobi walk a few steps ahead of me. I squint as low sunshine silhouettes their figures. Here they are – man and machine, human and robot, about to explore new territory together.

I join them and we line up at the beginning of the open space, where car park cement gives way to wild, uneven, porous stone. The Burren floor is like ancient crazy paving, without the fillers. Kobi stands in between his two human companions.

‘I always forget how weird-looking this place is,’ says Shane quietly. ‘It’s like nowhere else on Earth.’

‘What d’you reckon, Kobi?’ I say. ‘Shall we?’

‘Calculating,’ says Kobi. I’m glad he’s up for the challenge of this new environment.

‘Shall we all try it together?’ I say. ‘Ready, Shane? ’

I take a step forward. Shane takes a step forward. Kobi takes a step forward, wobbles and lurches to one side. I reach out to grab him but only slow his fall slightly as he crashes down in front of me. He lies on his side, his legs continuing to move uselessly, like an upended turtle.

‘Oh no!’ I crouch to inspect the damage. ‘Are you okay? Shane, help me get him upright.’

Kobi is heavy, but we manage to restore him to some dignity. All his lights flash on, then off again. His head droops. ‘Talk to me, Kobi,’ I say, circling him to examine his exterior. I can’t see anything amiss.

‘Processing,’ says Kobi, raising his chin. Lights flicker on. I hear the soft hum of systems coming back online.

‘Phew,’ I say. The relief brings me mild elation. ‘What are we going to do with you, Kobi? I know you’re a bit slow, but I thought this would be okay. Josh said you were good at all types of terrain. I mean, there are robots on Mars right now.’

‘Those robots are little more than remote control toys,’ says Kobi, somewhat defensively in my opinion. ‘Furthermore, you may have noticed that they all possess one thing that I do not – wheels.’ At least his cognitive faculties seem to be intact.

‘I’m very glad you’re okay. I’m not sure what to do now though…

’ I look at Shane and shrug, frustrated.

‘We’re supposed to be walking to the open farm at the end of this trail.

The host is expecting us. Maybe we should go back to the car, find another way around?

D’you think JP will mind if we skip this bit of the “Clare experience”? ’

‘Wait,’ says Shane.

‘What?’

‘Kobi, you’re after giving me an idea.’

‘What idea?’ I say.

‘Just – wait here.’

He hurries away, towards the car.

‘I’ll be back. Just hang on!’