Page 64 of Captivated (Salvation #3)

Chapter Fifty-Three

Nate had no idea what had woken him before dawn, but getting back to sleep proved impossible.

He knew why. His head was full of Zeeb.

So many thoughts, so many recollections, colliding at breakneck speed. Sure, sex featured heavily in them, but after the last three days that was hardly surprising.

What shocked him was that he could replay those intimate moments with no shame, and his only regret was not discovering sooner how much fun sex could be.

Except it wasn’t just about bodies, but something infinitely more subtle, something deeper… What lingered most in Nate’s mind was their connection, a quiet, solid bond that had been forged in vulnerability and trust.

It’s about letting someone see you completely and still wanting to be there.

About becoming more than ourselves.

He sat up carefully, doing his best not to disturb Zeeb, and eased out from beneath the sheets. He grabbed his jeans and shirt, then crept down the stairs, praying for them not to creak. The keys to Zeeb’s truck lay on the coffee table, and he picked them up.

I know where I want to be.

Nate loved the early morning light that penetrated the high stable windows, bathing the space in a warm glow. Sorrel let out a soft whinny as Nate approached him.

Nate stroked Sorrel’s nose. “Sorry, boy,” he whispered. “No apples this morning. I’ll bring you one later when everyone’s awake, I promise.” He pressed his face into Sorrel’s mane. “Can I talk to you about Zeeb for a minute? You know Zeeb, right?” He smiled. “You can’t miss him. He’s beautiful.”

Except that seemed an odd choice of word.

“Okay, so maybe he’s what you’d call ruggedly handsome.

I could stare at him for hours and still never do him justice in a painting.

” Nate stroked Sorrel’s mane. “Why is it when I’m watching him sleep, or sipping coffee on the porch, or just looking up at the stars at night with him beside me, my heart beats faster, it’s harder to breathe, and I know there’s nowhere else I’d rather be? ”

“I’ve never experienced it myself, but I think people call that ‘love.’”

Nate spun around, almost falling on his ass. Teague grabbed him by the wrist, steadying him.

“Whoa there, cowboy.” He bit his lip. “Guess I should’ve made some kinda noise so you knew I was here, huh? I didn’t mean to startle you. I was going to let Sorrel have right of reply before butting in.” He cocked his head. “You okay?”

Nate let out a sigh. “Yeah. No. Maybe. I don’t know.”

Teague smirked. “Well, that’s good. We’ve covered all the bases. Where’s Zeeb?”

“I left him asleep. I wanted to come down here and?—”

“And talk to the horse, yeah, I got that part.” Teague grabbed a blanket, spread it over a hay bale, and sat. He narrowed his gaze. “Do not tell anyone you saw me do this. Real cowboys ain’t afraid of getting a little hay where the sun don’t shine, apparently.”

Nate smiled. “Your secret is safe with me.” Sorrel pushed his nose into Nate’s hand, and he chuckled. “I’m sorry. Am I ignoring you?”

Teague leaned back, his weight on his hands. “Okay, to return to your one-sided conversation with Sorrel…Zeeb is an amazing guy.”

“That part I already know.”

Teague nodded. “He needs someone like you.”

Nate stilled. “And what am I like?”

“The kind of guy that’ll show him love and affection, but also accept it from him.” Teague gave a rueful smile. “I gotta admit, I never thought he’d meet anyone who he’d mesh with, but you? You’re perfect for him.” He tilted his head to one side. “So… Do you love him?”

That was a good question. “I gotta be honest, I don’t know what love is.” At least not the kind Teague was talking about.

Teague straightened. “Okay, lemme rephrase that. Do you think you could love him?”

What came to mind was Zeeb in the lake, floating beside him, staring up at the sky. Zeeb reducing Nate to a puddle of melted jelly with nothing more than a smile. Zeeb riding alongside him, quiet and thoughtful. Zeeb holding him in the middle of a storm. Zeeb’s touch, patient and gentle.

Nate smiled. “Yeah, I think I could.”

Teague’s eyes shone. “Then grab that bull by his horn and don’t let him go.”

“Horn?” Nate grinned. “Is that a euphemism for?—”

“It’s whatever you want it to be,” Teague blurted. He returned Nate’s grin. “Wherever your dirty little mind takes you.” He plucked a strand of hay from his jeans and examined it. “Can I tell you something?”

Nate took in Teague’s furrowed brow, the restless movement of his hands, the way he held himself so stiffly. “Sure.”

“I tease the fuck out of him, but you know what?” Teague raised his chin and looked at Nate.

“I love Zeeb. He’s always been straight—no pun intended—with me.

He calls me on my bullshit, but he’ll also defend me to anyone who has a problem with that bullshit.

” He smiled. “He’s like the big brother from hell.

Sweet one sec, then giving you noogies the next.

” He paused. “But there’s one thing you need to know.

Zeeb is... well… he’s not wired like everyone else. ”

“What do you mean?”

“We all go up to Bozeman or Livingstone now and then. A few drinks, maybe some of us get lucky… But Zeeb? He might find someone for a night, but they almost always have to approach him. If I had to guess, I’d say he’s afraid of rejection.

Comes from having a soft heart, you know.

” Teague gave Nate an intense gaze. “If you want him—and I mean really want him—I think you’ll need to grab his attention and show him you’re the guy for him.

Don’t let him bullshit with you. He cares, a lot.

He just needs someone who understands him. ”

Nate’s heartbeat quickened. “And you think that’s me?”

Teague grinned. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. It’s you, all right. All I know is, one day I want someone to look at me that way.”

Nate caught a hint of something in Teague’s voice, but he couldn’t decipher it. “You said you’ve never loved someone?” That was so sad. Teague was a good guy. Anyone would be damn lucky to have him in their life.

“Nope.” Teague shrugged. “Not that I go out of my way to find it, you understand. And I don’t really have time for love.

I have my life here. If I want some action, I go elsewhere, but that isn’t love, that’s just sex.

And after what happened to Toby and Zeeb, I think it’ll be a long time before I do that in town again.

Hell, before any of us do. We’re safer here.

So if I’m going to meet the man of my dreams, he’s gonna have to come to Salvation. ”

Nate folded his arms. “So what would he be like, this dream guy?”

Another shrug. “I have no clue. Let’s say my ideas have changed a little in the past two years. I’ve seen stuff that makes me…well… look at myself differently.” His eyes sparkled. “I guess I’m what you’d call open to persuasion.”

Nate looked Teague up and down. “He’d better be someone who’s into muscles and tattoos.”

He cackled. “My bedroom space is taken up with two things—my bed and my weights.”

Nate gazed at Teague’s arms. “Why tattoos of eagles?” He could count at least three.

Teague didn’t speak for a moment. “Eagles are strong. Brave. They overcome challenges. I know all about that. When I was sixteen, I ran away from home. My dad didn’t think I’d have the courage to do that.

Guess I proved him wrong.” He picked up another strand of hay.

“Eagles soar high. They see even the smallest mouse from way up in the sky. They’re free.

” He chuckled. “Paul once told me that in some cultures, eagles are seen as messengers between the earthly and divine realms, symbolizing spiritual connection and wisdom.” He grinned.

“I don’t know about all that, but it sounds good.

A little wisdom is a good thing, right?” Teague stood.

“I only wandered in here because I spotted you as I was walking to the bunkhouse and I got curious. I didn’t intend to bore you with my ramblings. ”

Nate smiled again. “You haven’t. And they weren’t ramblings. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Well, talking with me. Sharing.”

Teague smiled. “You’re family now. We’re all gonna be talking your ear off.” He walked over to Nate and put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Be good to him, okay?”

“I promise.”

Teague tipped his hat, then ambled out of the stable.

Nate gave Sorrel a final petting. “I have to go now. I have to wake Zeeb up and tell him something important.”

He hurried out of the stable and over to Zeeb’s truck. Now that he’d made the decision, he didn’t want to waste a second. His heart hammered as he drove along the narrow track that led to the cabin. By the time he reached the door, he was buzzing.

Inside the cabin all was quiet except for the sound of Zeeb’s breathing, regular and even. Nate climbed the stairs and stood at the foot of the bed, watching the rise and fall of Zeeb’s chest.

He looks so peaceful. Grounded.

Nate’s skin still hummed with the memory of their touch, the way they’d come together like gravity, with no hesitation, no shame.

Just truth.

I didn’t know I could feel like this. He felt safe, anchored, unafraid. For years, he’d swallowed his truth like poison, wrapped in scripture and silence. He’d prayed it out of himself. He’d let others try to ‘fix’ him. But nothing had ever made him feel as human as he had when Zeeb touched him.

When Zeeb’s voice softened as he said Nate’s name.

A quiet warmth filled him, new, terrifying, and impossible to contain.

“I can hear your thoughts,” Zeeb murmured. He opened one eye. “They’re loud.”

Nate laughed, and the sound startled him. It still surprised him that he could laugh and not feel guilty.

“Yeah,” he said. “They are.”

He walked to Zeeb’s side of the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress, brushing his fingers over Zeeb’s forearm, connecting them. The silence between them was broken only by the birds outside, and the sound of the wind through the trees.

It was time for honesty.

“I used to think I was ruined,” Nate said at last, his voice barely more than a breath. “That being with a man meant I’d failed at something. That no one could love me, not really. Not if they knew .”

Zeeb didn’t flinch or look away. “I know,” he said, his tone gentle.

“I didn’t think peace like this existed,” Nate whispered. “Not for someone like me. Not after everything. But now… with you…” He swallowed, the breath catching in his throat. “I don’t feel broken. I feel… wanted. Like I belong in my skin.”

“Come here.”

Nate leaned over, pressing their foreheads together, their breath mingling.

“You do belong,” Zeeb said. “You always did. You just didn’t have anyone to tell you.”

Nate closed his eyes. There was a fluttering in his chest, as though something old and buried was trying to break the surface. He sat up and took Zeeb’s hand in his.

“I think I love you.” He took a deep breath, then spoke again, his voice firmer. “No, that’s not right. I know I do.”

Zeeb exhaled softly, a sound that mixed relief and wonder.

“I’ve been holding those words in,” Zeeb said, his voice rough.

“Maybe since the night you showed up again, after you drove to Oregon. I kept thinking, ‘don’t say it, not yet, don’t scare him off.

’ But it was always there.” He touched Nate’s face, brushing a thumb across his cheek, the touch steady and warm.

“You’re not ruined,” he whispered. “You’re brave as hell.

You survived something no one should have to. And you still found a way to love.”

Nate laughed again, his eyes hot. “You’re gonna make me cry.”

Zeeb’s eyes glistened. “Then we’re even.” He reached for Nate, cradled his head, and drew him down into a slow, sure kiss.

Nate’s heart soared and he lost himself in the moment.

Then Zeeb pulled back and gazed into Nate’s eyes.

“I love you too,” he said with no trace of hesitation. “I think I have since the first time you looked at me like I wasn’t a mistake. You’re the first person to see me— all of me.” He laughed. “Lord, it feels amazing to finally say the words.”

Nate lay on the bed beside him. “My dad has a guilty little secret. He might be into leather and BDSM, but he’s also a sucker for a romantic movie.

You know what I’ve just realized? Those movies show the couple declaring their love for each other like it’s the end, but it isn’t—it’s just the beginning.

” He stroked Zeeb’s bare chest, the mat of hair soft beneath his fingertips.

“We’re not at the end of the road. Not even close. ”

What filled him was hope, powerful and strong. For the first time, the future felt like a place he could walk into without fear.

Hand-in-hand with Zeeb.