Page 53 of Captivated (Salvation #3)

Chapter Forty-Six

Nate’s waking impression was one of feeling warm, comfortable…safe.

Zeeb lay on his back, putting out the cutest little snores. For a moment Nate was tempted to grab his phone and record them, but then he remembered he’d left it on the coffee table.

He looks so peaceful.

Nate let his gaze drift down Zeeb’s body, with its mat of chest hair forming a train down the center of him to his navel, and then just kept right on going until it reached?—

The sheet was tented about four or five inches into the air.

Nate’s breathing quickened. The urge to slide his fingers beneath the cotton and curl them around Zeeb’s shaft was overwhelming.

Greater still was the urge to put his mouth on it again.

Heat surged through him when he considered where else Zeeb’s dick might go.

Then awareness hit him with full force, a sucker punch to the gut, and he caught his breath.

Oh. OH.

“Hey.” Zeeb rubbed his eyes. “You okay?”

Nate managed a shaky laugh. “Better than okay.” He snuggled up against Zeeb’s side, about to lay his head on Zeeb’s chest. When he hesitated, Zeeb smiled.

“You’re okay. Do it.”

Nate rested his head on Zeeb’s furry chest, his hand on Zeeb’s stomach. “I guess you could say I just experienced an epiphany.”

Zeeb’s arm was around him. “Can you let me in on it? Not that I’m all that good at dealin’ with epiphanies before I’ve had my first cup of coffee.”

“I was lying here, contemplating…” He hesitated for a second, then thought better of it. Hell, there was no reason to be coy, not after the previous night. “I was thinking about sex.”

Zeeb chuckled. “Sounds like a good way to wake up.”

Nate propped himself up on his elbow and gazed at Zeeb.

“You don’t understand. I was thinking about touching you, sucking you off…

” His cheeks were suddenly on fire. “And other… activities. But that’s not what I’m talking about.

What is absolutely earth-shattering about those thoughts is my reaction to them.

I didn’t shut them down. I didn’t shift into fight-or-flight mode.

” He looked Zeeb in the eye. “Some part of my brain finally decided it’s okay for me to want you. ”

The morning light caught in Zeeb’s eyes, but his smile was all the sunshine Nate needed.

“I’m so happy to hear that,” he said, his voice soft.

Nate laid his head back down again, feeling the reassuring beat of Zeeb’s heart. “In case I forgot to tell you…I loved what we did.”

“I’d have loved it even more if I could’ve returned the favor,” Zeeb grumbled.

He chuckled. “I’ve only gotten this far because of your patience. So you’ll have to be patient a while longer. Then we can see about you doing your job.”

Zeeb frowned. “My job?”

Nate flashed what he hoped was a sultry smile. “Yeah, we can test out your ridin’ skills, Cowboy.”

Flirting was new to him, but he already liked the way it made him feel. The hitch in Zeeb’s breathing was even better.

“What is it about first thing in the morning that helps you see things clearly?” Nate wondered aloud.

“You’ve given your brain a rest, that’s what.” Zeeb stroked Nate’s shoulder. “Something else goin’ on in that head of yours?”

“Yeah. I can see now why I was so nervous about getting physical with you.”

Zeeb huffed. “Doesn’t take a genius to know that.

You found yourself in a place designed to make you feel broken.

It’s been a slow climb out of that hell hole but you did it.

That don’t mean the guilt and shame they made you feel disappears just like that.

Okay, so you’re puttin’ it all behind you, but that kinda experience leaves its mark.

I guess what you’d call emotional residue.

” He chuckled. “An’ there I go using big words again. ”

“That’s a big part of it,” Nate affirmed. “Maybe I was afraid my emotional baggage would be too much.”

“You mean too much for me to handle?” Another huff. “Sweetheart, never in a million years.”

“Something occurred to me yesterday at that supper,” Nate admitted.

“A lot of things occurred to me, and I intend to say a few things next time I see those bastards I work with.” The growl in Zeeb’s voice made him tingle. “But what was this thought of yours?”

“I realized I was waiting to not be scared—to be completely healed—before I told myself I deserved… being intimate with you. And if I was ever going to touch someone the way I wanted to, then I had to get past those feelings.”

Zeeb pressed his lips to Nate’s hair, then stiffened. “Ow.”

Nate craned his neck. “Are you okay?”

“’M fine. Just moved wrong, that’s all. Keep talking. I love the sound of your voice.”

Warmth flooded through him.

“Being here played a part too.” Nate ran his fingers down the trail of hair, dipping the tip of his finger into Zeeb’s navel.

“Owen and Simon ran the youth home where I ended up. They were the first gay couple I’d ever encountered, and my first experience of healthy intimacy.

” He frowned. “I guess in my head, for the longest time I equated sex with punishment or sin, not a connection. Not joy. And then I came here, and saw Robert and Toby, Butch and Sol…” He sighed.

“It was good to see same-sex relationships that worked.”

Zeeb didn’t speak for a moment, but held Nate close, Nate’s ear pressed against his chest, feeling the thump of Zeeb’s heart.

“I just thought you were nervous cuz you’d never done anything with a guy,” Zeeb said at last.

Nate let out a chuckle. “That was part of it too. I wasn’t sure how to even begin. Then I worried about doing it all wrong. I didn’t know how good sex should feel, did I?”

Zeeb cupped Nate’s chin, tilting Nate’s face toward his. “How did last night feel?”

Heat blossomed on his cheeks once more. “It felt good.”

“So now you know.” Zeeb’s eyes were warm.

“I’m in the same boat. I’m just playin’ it by ear, goin’ with the flow, doing what feels right…

what makes me feel good.” He paused. “And about those other activities you mentioned….” He rubbed his thumb along Nate’s jaw.

“There’s no rush. We have all the time in the world. ”

Nate sat up, straddled Zeeb’s hips, then bent down to kiss him on the mouth, careful not to put pressure on his chest. “I like the sound of that,” he murmured against Zeeb’s lips.

“Thank you.” Zeeb covered Nate’s hand with his.

“What are you thanking me for?”

He smiled. “For trusting me. For baring your soul. For being you.”

Nate’s throat tightened to see Zeeb’s expression, the light in his eyes, the warmth of his smile. The way Zeeb looked at him as though Nate hung the moon.

Is this what love looks like?

His stomach chose that second to grumble, and Nate chuckled. “I think I’d better make breakfast.”

“I’ve got a better idea. How about we go have breakfast in the bunkhouse?”

Nate blinked. “After their performance yesterday? I thought you’d want to avoid them for a while.”

Zeeb moved as if to sit up, and Nate got off him. “That’s kinda my point. I gotta show my face, and the sooner the better.” His eyes glinted. “Besides, I have a bone to pick with them.”

Nate narrowed his gaze. “Can I remind you that you’re in no state to brawl with anyone?”

Zeeb grinned. “There’ll be no brawling, just a few choice words.”

Nate had the feeling breakfast was going to be entertaining.

Nate switched off the engine. “You go on in. I want to check on Butterscotch. I haven’t seen him for a few days.”

Zeeb cackled. “Sure, but don’t count on there being too much food left if you take too long. You’ve seen this pack of vultures eat.”

He hoped his relief wasn’t too obvious. He’d wanted to talk to the guys about Nate, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.

Zeeb stepped into the bunkhouse to be greeted by a mingling of delicious aromas. Butch was the only one seated at the table. His eyes gleamed when he spied Zeeb.

“Well, good morning.”

Zeeb scanned the interior of the bunkhouse. “Where are the guests?”

“They went with Paul to the stable. All horse newbies, so he’s showing ’em how to groom.” He grinned. “Didn’t think I’d be seeing you for a week, not after you two snuck out of the dining room like a pair of horny teenagers when the parents are gone for the night.”

Zeeb arched his eyebrows. “I think you’re confusing ‘sneaking out’ with ‘not giving a flying fuck who saw us.’”

“Where’s the boyfriend?”

Zeeb leaned forward, his palms flat to the table. “And that is precisely the kind of thing I wanna talk about. Don’t go saying stuff like that when Nate’s around, okay?” He winced as he straightened, then slipped his wrist back into its band.

Damn it, body. Get your act together.

Butch frowned. “But Nate’s gonna be a lot different now, isn’t he?”

Zeeb paused. “I hope so. But if he’s not?—”

“He’s with you,” Butch interjected. “That’s gotta mean something.”

If he’d been able to, Zeeb would’ve hugged Butch tight enough to crack his ribs.

He sees a lot. He cares.

Hell, they all did.

The door to the bathroom opened, and Walt strolled out. He saw Zeeb and clutched his chest. “Damn, Zeeb, don’t tell me you finally lost your cherry last night.” He grinned. “Well, the only one you had left.”

Zeeb rolled his eyes. “I swear to God, everyone’s a fucking detective around here.”

Walt pulled a chair out and sat. “Hey, I can’t help it if some of us saw the writing on the wall, all right?” He folded his arms. “Just didn’t believe you’d drag it out for as long as you did.”

Teague’s voice rang from the doorway behind Zeeb. “Oh yeah? Don’t you go giving Zeeb any crap, just because he got his shit together at last. How long did it take you to get up enough nerve to make a move on a guy? You may not choose to remember, but I sure as hell do.”

Zeeb turned and glared at Teague. Dammit, he was smirking.

“You knew too? How I felt about Nate?”

Teague shrugged. “You think you’re the only one who notices a thing or two about how folks move around here?”

“Did you all know?” Zeeb gave him and Walt an incredulous stare.