Page 20 of Captivated (Salvation #3)

Chapter Eighteen

They didn’t speak much on the ride back to the trailhead parking lot.

Zeeb took the lead, letting Bailey pick his way along the narrow trail while Nate followed, the reins loose in his hands, his gaze fixed somewhere between the curve of Zeeb’s back and the trail ahead.

The quiet was companionable, not that Nate felt any compulsion to talk.

His mind was occupied with glances that lingered a second too long, touches in the lake…

Every time their shoulders had brushed in the water, every time Zeeb had ducked his gaze or smiled too long, it had all looped in Nate’s mind like a song he couldn’t stop humming.

Zeeb had registered in Nate’s subconscious. Thus far he’d been the man who’d been there for Nate, the one who’d stood between Nate and the rest of the hands, a welcome barrier to keep him safe.

But now Nate saw him for the first time as an attractive man, someone who stirred Nate’s senses in a way no one had stirred them before.

It was scary as hell.

It was also exhilarating.

By the time they reached the horse trailer, the sun was dipping low. The light had gone syrupy and golden, stretching their shadows across the asphalt-covered parking lot. Between them, they got the horses into the trailer, then set off for Salvation, Zeeb behind the wheel.

Yet more silence.

Maybe I’m not the only one with a head full of stuff.

Zeeb was the first to shatter the quiet.

“Y’know, I haven’t done that in a long time.”

“Skinny-dipped?” Nate still couldn’t believe he’d been bold enough to strip off in front of Zeeb.

Be honest. You liked the idea of him seeing you.

That shocked him into stillness. Was I… flirting? Not that Nate had ever flirted with anyone his whole life. Is that what I was doing?

Zeeb chuckled. “That too. But I meant just… let go. Laughed. Played.”

Play … It had been so long since Nate had indulged in play, it was almost an alien concept.

“Been a while for me too.” What flitted through his mind was chasing Bethany through her daddy’s barn, both of them laughing and shrieking. Rescuing her from an imaginary dragon, Nate brandishing a stick as if it were a sword.

Bethany’s box, full of cast-offs she would dress up in…

And just like that, Nate’s library of memories closed with a dull clunk .

Not going there, remember?

Not now.

Looking forward, not back.

More silence.

“You looked like a different person out there today,” Zeeb remarked.

Nate’s heart gave a nervous flutter. “Good different or…?”

“Free,” Zeeb said simply.

That word again. It hit Nate square in the chest.

“I want to be,” Nate admitted, so quietly he wasn’t sure if Zeeb heard. “I’m trying to be.”

Zeeb didn’t reply right away. When he did, his voice was low. “You’re doin’ better than you think.”

Warmth spread through Nate’s chest. “Thank you.”

If Zeeb could see a difference, then Nate was on the right track.

“You thought any more ’bout my invitation?”

It took him a second or two to recall what Zeeb was talking about. Then he remembered. The cookout. Someone’s sister.

I told myself I’d go.

“Tomorrow, isn’t it?”

“Yup. Up at the big house. Lots of food, sodas, beers…”

“How many people will be there?”

“All the hands, so that’s eight or nine bodies. The boss and his partner Toby, and Sol. You met him, right?”

Nate nodded.

“And of course the boss’s sister, Diana, and her husband Newt.”

Nate blinked. “Is that his real name?”

“It’s the one everyone calls him.” A pause. “It’s like I said, you don’t have to stay for the whole thing. You can turn up, say hi, eat enough food to choke a pig, and then you can leave. Hell, not all of us will stay for the whole shindig.”

Nate knew Zeeb was trying to make the prospect as non-threatening as possible.

Say yes. Even if you last ten minutes, that’s more than you thought you’d accomplish before you arrived here.

His heart pounded. His mouth dried up, and he grabbed his bottle of water.

Do it.

Do it.

You said you would.

“I’ll be there,” he croaked, his throat tight.

Zeeb became so still beside him. “You sure?”

Nate managed a chuckle. “You want me to change my mind?” The cool water helped ease the dryness.

“No, no, I’m jus’ makin’ sure I haven’t forced your hand, that’s all.”

“You haven’t,” Nate assured him.

I want to do this.

It was a step in the right direction.

Zeeb made the turn into the driveway that led to Salvation, and Nate’s stomach growled. Zeeb chuckled. “I’d best sort you out with some supper before I take you to the cabin. You might not make it otherwise.”

Nate came to another decision. “I can drive myself to the cabin. No need to put yourself out.” Zeeb had been his personal chauffeur long enough.

“I don’t mind,” Zeeb remonstrated.

“I know you don’t.” Nate sighed. “I’m not really doing this to save you the trouble. I’m trying to?—”

“It’s okay,” Zeeb interjected. “I get it. An’ it’s all good, so don’t stress.” He pulled up beside the stable, and Paul came out a moment later. Nate and Zeeb got out of the trailer, and Paul went to the rear to unhitch the horses.

Nate pressed his face to Sorrel’s neck. “Thank you, beautiful. You did well.”

Paul took hold of Sorrel’s halter. “How was your first trail?”

Nate beamed. “So good that I want to do another.”

Paul’s dark eyes shone. “That’s great.”

“Nate rode like he’s been doin’ it all his life,” Zeeb added as he led Bailey out of the trailer, down the ramp, and into the stable.

Nate flushed. “I wasn’t that good.” He sniffed. “Something smells amazing.”

“That would be Matt’s chicken ‘n’ dumplings,” Zeeb said with a grin. “An’ speakin’ of which, I’ll go grab you some.” He turned to go to the bunkhouse.

“Wait!” Nate’s heartbeat quickened.

Zeeb halted. “Something wrong?”

“How would you feel about ending today the way it started? You could eat your supper on the cabin porch with me… if you like. Unless you want to catch up with your friends.”

Zeeb snorted. “I can catch up with them anytime. And I’ll get all day with ’em tomorrow.” He smiled. “Sure, I’ll eat with you.”

Paul came out of the stable as Zeeb disappeared from view. He gave Nate a warm smile. “Zeeb says you’re going to join us tomorrow. That’s wonderful.”

It’ll be wonderful if I can stick it out for more than a heartbeat.

Nate glanced toward the stable. “Sorrel must be tired. Zeeb said he doesn’t usually leave the ranch.”

“He gets light duties, but I wouldn’t have let him go on the trail if I didn’t think he was up to it.” Paul gazed at him. “I think you two have a connection.”

Nate’s first thought was that Paul was referring to him and Zeeb. His cheeks burned. “Sorrel’s a great horse for a newbie.”

Paul didn’t break eye contact, and the more his scrutiny continued, the more convinced Nate became that Paul had meant Zeeb. More importantly, that he somehow knew what had passed between him and Nate at the lake.

Don’t be ridiculous. What is he, a mind reader?

Besides, he and Zeeb had done nothing to be ashamed of.

Zeeb came out of the bunkhouse, holding a large bag. “Matt did us proud. We got chicken ‘n’ dumplings, corn bread, two huge pieces of apple pie, and a couple of beers.”

Nate smiled. “You’re going to have to roll me up the stairs into bed after all that.”

Paul chuckled. “I’m pretty sure Zeeb could manage that, if required.” And with that he went back into the stables, humming to himself.

Nate was certain his face was the color of beets.

“I’ll meet you at the cabin,” he told Zeeb before hurrying to his car.

Maybe by the time Zeeb joined him there, Nate’s cheeks would be less noticeable.

“This was a great idea,” Nate murmured.

Zeeb had constructed a circle of small stones collected from the creek, then gone foraging for branches and dried grass.

A little time later, a fire burned there, and Nate and Zeeb sat on blankets, drinking beer as the sky darkened, eating up the remains of the day.

All around them, the insect world was alive, filling the air with noise.

Zeeb inclined his head to the right. “Y’hear that?”

Nate frowned. “What am I listening for?” All he could hear were insects.

“Something that sounds like a saw goin’? My granddaddy used to say that came from carpenter bugs.”

He smiled. “Is there such a thing?”

Zeeb held his hands up. “Hey, I’m jus’ repeating what he told me. He said carpenter bugs were out there makin’ furniture for all the other insects.”

It was an adorable image.

“Is he still alive? Your granddaddy, I mean.”

“I doubt it.”

Nate took a drink from his bottle. “Have you ever tried to find out anything about your family since you left home?”

Zeeb stared into the flames. The fire crackled, crickets started up in the brush, and somewhere far off, an owl called once, twice.

“Nope. An’ to be honest, I don’t think of ’em as my family anymore.

” He jerked his thumb in the direction of the ranch.

“Those guys back there are my family.” He finished his beer.

“I’ll bring you breakfast in the morning.

If you like, we can go to the lake an’ you can work on your painting.

The cookout won’t be until at least two. ”

“What’s Diana like?”

Zeeb smiled. “She’s awesome. You’ll like her. And it’s about time you met the boss.”

“Will I like him too?”

Zeeb chuckled. “Yeah, he’s a good guy.” He glanced at Nate. “Another guy who went through shit an’ came out of it to find happiness.”

Nate focused on the fire. “You think that’s true for everyone who goes through… difficult times? That there’s something good waiting for them at the end of it?”

“Don’t the Bible talk about God puttin’ people into fire, to test them? To refine ’em, make ’em stronger? If he puts ’em through that kinda torture, surely there has to be some kind of reward?” Zeeb let out a wry chuckle. “An’ seein’ as our fire is almost out, I’d better think about turnin’ in.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

Neither moved.

Zeeb flicked a gaze in Nate’s direction, his eyes lingering just a beat too long. “You okay?” His voice was a little raw.

“Yeah,” Nate said. On impulse, he blurted, “I liked today.”

Zeeb’s mouth tugged into a small smile. “Me too.” He hauled himself to his feet. “Night, Nate.”

“Night, Zeeb.”

And still, even as Zeeb disappeared around the corner of the cabin and the night swallowed him up, Nate sat there, skin prickling with something he couldn’t name.

Something that lay between fear and wanting.

Nothing really happened.

Except that wasn’t strictly true. Something had shifted between them.

And once it shifted, it couldn’t go back.

If he was honest with himself, Nate didn’t think he wanted it to.

Zeeb lay on his bunk in his shorts, his fingers laced under his head, not really listening to the murmurs of conversation around him.

His mind was full of Nate.

That morning, he’d thought he sensed a change in Nate. The rest of the day hadn’t shifted his opinion. Only, Zeeb thought it wasn’t so much a change as a jolt that had knocked Nate’s world out of orbit and was now steering him onto a new trajectory.

He closed his eyes, shutting out the whispers.

What he saw made his heart stutter.

Nate standing in the lake, water up to his waist, his chin held high, his shoulders relaxed.

Nate floating beside him, his expression serene in the sunlight, water framing his face.

Nate gazing out at the lake as he dried himself, the graceful line of his back, his upper body tapering at the waist before it swelled into the firm curves of his ass. Nate’s thighs weren’t muscled but there was evidence of toning.

And since when did I ever pay so much attention to the way a guy looked?

Zeeb had seen every one of his fellow hands butt naked, and hand on heart, the sight of them had never stirred him to think of them in any other way except his workmates.

So why should Nate be any different?

More importantly, why should he act differently toward Nate? Horsing around in the water, splashing, playing… That was okay. That was what guys did.

Edging closer, brushing his foot against Nate’s, then doing it again a moment later, letting his gaze linger on Nate’s naked body as they dressed, doing his damnedest not to let Nate catch him, because that would’ve been fucking weird .

“Zeeb. Are you okay?”

Zeeb opened his eyes and rolled onto his side, seeking Paul’s form across the room in the semi-darkness. “Do I not seem okay?”

Paul snickered. “Dude, you’re usually snoring about two seconds after your head hits the pillow. For a moment there I thought you’d died on us.”

Zeeb flopped onto his back. “I’m fine. Just got a lot on my mind, is all. Go to sleep.”

“I will when you do. Your snores are what send me to sleep. You’re better than a sleeping pill.”

Zeeb closed his eyes once more.

Stop thinking about Nate.

Think about something else.

Anything else.

Anything but Nate’s body. The line of his shoulders. His lean torso.

His dick.

Especially his dick.