Page 42 of Can’t Let You Go (Ivy Ridge #3)

JASON

S tring lights are hung across the ceiling of my brewery, and flowers are placed on each table in mason jars.

Josie and Fallon really did a beautiful job decorating, and my brewery is almost unrecognizable.

We’ve greeted Marley and Beau with a loud cheer of “surprise” as they entered the room, and now they’re being passed around from person to person.

They each have a baby carrier on their arm, and I can see the subtle glint of the ring on Marley’s finger.

I’ve barely seen Fallon tonight, she’s been running around making sure everything has been in order since she arrived hours ago.

Presley and Lennie are around here somewhere, coloring with Lennie’s stash of crayons and coloring pages she keeps here.

I was able to help Fallon get things set up, and hoped I’d be able to talk with her more, but so far, no luck.

I want to check in and spend some time with her.

I swing by the bar and have Laila pour me two glasses of Marley’s favorite ale before I head over to my brother and his new fiancé.

I greet them with hugs and congratulations, and then say hi to my niece and nephew.

Their little brown eyes are both wide as they look around the room, taking in all the loud noises and new faces.

They seem to be taking it in stride though, and haven’t let out a peep of noise.

Now that they have drinks, I make my way through the crowd. I want to find Fallon, and check in with her. I've been stopped a few times by various people, but not for long. Once I reach a corner booth, I spot Lennie and Presley.

“Hey girls,” I say, sitting down briefly. I kiss Len’s forehead, pulling her in for a quick hug.

“Hi, Daddy,” Lennie says. “Do you like my picture?” She holds up her coloring book so I can see the page.

On it, is a princess holding a cat, while sitting on a fancy bench.

She’s wearing a poofy dress, and a crown.

Lennie is not the best at staying in the lines quite yet, so there’s scribbles all over the page.

“Beautiful, sweetie,” I tell her. “We’ll have to put that one in my office.”

“Look at mine, Jason,” Presley pleads. “It’s a cat playing with a ball of yarn.”

“Wow.” I’d never admit it out loud, and especially not in front of my daughter, but Presley’s really good at coloring. She stays in the lines, and even has some shading going on, giving the cat more dimension and color. “Yours is beautiful, too, Pres.”

“Thank you,” she replies. “Can we hang it in your office next to Lennie’s?”

“Absolutely. Have you seen your mom?”

She shakes her head. “Nope.”

“Okay, thanks. Keep coloring girls, we can hang all your pages in my office if you want.” I stand from the booth and head to one of the back rooms, still searching for Fallon. After a few minutes and no luck, I start to head out into the main room again.

I stop when I see movement in my office. The door is barely cracked, and I can see Fallon’s leg as she bounces it up and down. I open the door, finding her sitting in my chair, her head in her hands as she leans over the desk.

“Hey,” I say softly, hoping I don’t scare her. “What’s wrong?”

She jerks her head up, and her face is void of color and emotion. It’s something I’ve never seen on her before, and it’s freaking me out. Fallon leans back into the chair, trying to wave me off. “I’m fine. Needed a minute.”

I walk over to her, and lean against my desk, crossing my legs in front of me. “Tell me what’s going on.” Reaching forward, I cup her cheek in my hand. She leans away from my touch, and my heart drops.

“I can’t. Because if I do, I’ll lose it. I can’t lose it, Jason. I need to keep it together,” she snaps. I’ve never seen her like this before. Sure, I’ve seen her mad, emotional, crabby, but never like this. Never broken.

“Okay,” I concede. “Do you want me to go?”

She shakes her head. “No. I just, I needed a minute. I’m fine now.” Like she’s trying to prove her point, she stands from the chair and adjusts her dress. “Do I look okay?” she asks, quickly swiping under her eyes so fast I didn’t even see that there were tears.

“You look beautiful, sunshine,” I tell her honestly.

“Great.” Her voice is thick around the words. She steps around me and leaves my office without another word. I’ll definitely spend the next few hours worried about her, but I’m not about to force her into telling me anything.

I follow her as she walks down the short hallway back into the main room of the brewery.

I watch as Lennie and Presley stand up to greet her, and follow close by.

I keep my distance, watching her from afar as Beau stands up in front of the crowd, raising a glass.

He surprises me, turning his body toward me, and smiling, saying, “Thank you all for coming, and Jason, thanks for letting us have the brewery for the night.”

I nod, realizing I don’t have a drink to hold up in response.

Beau shifts his gaze to Fallon in the corner, Presley standing right by her, holding the coloring pages. “And to Fallon, for whipping his ass into shape long enough to help plan the event.”

Laughter rings through the crowd, and I glance down at my feet, kicking at the ground.

I’ve never been one for attention, but I turn my gaze to Fallon anyway, knowing there are eyes on us.

She’s focused on Marley, a soft smile on her face, totally different than the blank look she wore only minutes ago.

She offers Marley a small shrug, and then shifts her focus back to Beau as he continues to speak about his future wife.

He finishes his toast, and everyone raises a glass to them.

I still don’t have one, so I raise my arm in support.

From the corner of my eye, I see Thomas trying to sneak in.

He has a haggard look on his face, dark-rimmed circles under his eyes.

Shit. Work has been so stressful for him recently, and I wish there was something I could do to help.

The party continues for a few more hours, and the whole time, I keep missing Fallon. I truly think she’s avoiding me. Something had to have happened, and I’m worried about her.

It’s nearing eight-thirty, and Lennie needs to get home.

She’s been clinging to my side for the last hour.

I know she’s exhausted. Hell, I’m exhausted.

Laila and the crew can handle the rest of the event, but I don’t want to leave without talking to Fallon.

Her mom, Elaine, came by about an hour ago and picked up Presley for the night.

I make my way through the crowd, carrying Lennie on my hip as she rests her head on my shoulder.

Beau and Marley are sitting at a table with pretty much everyone. Josie and Andrew are next to them, and Thomas, Isaac, and Megan are sitting on the other side. The only person missing is Fallon.

Marley’s mom and dad took the twins home about an hour ago, giving Marley and Beau some free time on their engagement night.

“Hey, have you guys seen Fallon?” I ask them. They all crane their heads, looking around the thinning crowd to find her.

“No,” Josie replies. “She was running around a bit. I told her to sit down like an hour ago, but haven’t seen her since.”

I furrow my brow. Where could she be? “Can Lennie sit with you guys for a few minutes? I’m going to go find her.”

“Absolutely,” Thomas responds. “Come here, Lenners.” I love how over time Lennie has received an assortment of nicknames from all her family.

Lennie reaches her arms out for Thomas, and I drop her into his lap.

Sure, she’s five and getting taller each day, but she’s still a little snuggle bug.

Thomas has taken off all his work gear now, leaving him in a simple cotton tee, so she snuggles right in.

In all honesty, I’d be shocked if she was awake in five minutes.

I know I need to get her home, but this is important.

I can’t leave, knowing something was up with Fallon earlier.

“I’ll be back,” I tell them. Megan stands as I turn away .

“I’m going to use the restroom,” she announces, but I have a gut instinct she’s going to tell me something.

I stride away from the table, and Megan follows. I head toward the restrooms, hoping I can be subtle. When we’re hidden in a hallway, Megan grabs my attention, saying, “She left.”

“What do you mean, she left?” I glance around me, like she’ll suddenly appear in the hall.

“Today is a hard day for her. I offered to go with her, but she said she needed to be alone.” Megan doesn’t look at me, only at the floor.

“Why is it hard for her, Megan?” My heart is pounding in my chest, a dull sense of fear creeping in.

“I can’t tell you. It’s not my story to tell. I was going to go over there as soon as I dropped Isaac off. She may want to be alone, but she shouldn’t be.”

“Fuck,” I curse, running a hand down my face. “You really can’t give me any more information?” I need to know what’s going on. If she’s hurting, I want to be there. I want to help her.

“I can’t. She needs to be the one to tell you, Jason.”

“Should I…” I trail off, not finishing my sentence. Even if I wanted to go over there tonight, I can’t. I have to get Lennie home and in bed. “Shit.”

“Should you go over there?” Megan finishes my thought out loud. “Honestly? I think you’re the only one she’d want right now.”

“I can’t, Megan. I have Lennie to worry about.”

“I’ll take her home. Isaac and I will spend the night at your house.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, Megan,” I breathe, trying to think of my options.

“You’re not asking, Jason. I’m telling you. She needs you, even if she doesn’t know it. She’s been doing things on her own for so long, even before Brad left her, and she puts on a bright, happy face, but she trusts you. She’ll let you see her crumble. And I think she needs to let you see it.”

Decision made. I need to get to her. I pull my keys out of my pocket, taking my house key off the ring.

“Her pajamas are laying out on her bed. It shouldn’t be a problem to get her to sleep.

She’ll probably fall asleep in the car, and shit, you need her booster seat,” I halt my words, thinking of all the things Lennie will need.

“I have a seat for Presley she can use,” Megan responds. “I’ve got her. Go tell Lennie that Isaac and I are taking her home. Then go.”

I nod and rush back out to the table where Thomas is still holding Lennie.

She’s curled into him, her cheek resting on his chest. When I reach the table, I bend down to her level.

“Hey sweetie. I have to go check on Fallon. Auntie Megan and Uncle Isaac are going to take you home and put you to bed, okay?”

Lennie nods. “Is Fallon okay?” she asks. She’s so laid back, she doesn’t even care about Isaac and Megan taking her home, she only cares about Fallon.

“I think so, but she really needs one of Daddy’s hugs,” I tell her. The eyes and ears of the entire table are on us, and hopefully it doesn’t raise too many questions.

“You do give really good hugs, Daddy,” Lennie replies, reaching her arms out to me for a hug herself.

I squeeze my daughter tightly, then pass her over to Megan. “Okay, I’ll see you in the morning, sweetie.”

The table says their goodbyes, everyone’s eyes concerned and worried, but I don’t have time to address them right now. Hopefully Megan can take care of it. If I was worried about people figuring out something is going on between Fallon and me, they definitely know now.

With a final goodbye, I rush to the bar, updating Laila that I’m leaving, and head out the front door to run to my car. I may be running in blind, but Fallon needs me, so that’s where I’ll be. I drive across town to her house, focusing on getting to her.

When I pull into her driveway, her house is dark, silent, and almost eerie looking. Her car is parked in the driveway though, so I know she’s home. I get out of the car and take a deep breath, heading up to her front door. I knock on the door loudly.

After a minute with no response, I try again. Is she sleeping? I try the door and find that it’s locked, so it’s not like I can try and sneak in. I’m about to raise my arm to knock one more time when the lock clicks and the door opens a crack.

Fallon peeks through the crack. Her blonde hair is a tangled mess around her head, her face blotchy, green eyes leaking a steady stream of tears. When she sees it’s me, she crumples.