Page 29 of Can’t Let You Go (Ivy Ridge #3)

JASON

I wake before Fallon. Our bodies are so entwined that it takes me minutes to disentangle without waking her. When finally I do manage my escape, I go down to get some breakfast, and decide to bring up some cinnamon rolls and bacon for her.

As I make my way to the elevator, I reminisce on last night. The sounds she made had me savoring the moment in a way I didn’t expect to ever experience. I’m so thankful it happened, even if it could only be one night.

The elevator dings as I arrive on our floor and make my way to the door.

I’ve got the plate of food for her in one hand, and a to-go coffee cup in the other.

When I reach our door, I can hear music playing loudly on a phone speaker.

I maneuver the cup into the crook of my other arm, and pull the room key from my back pocket, waving it in front of the scanner until it turns green.

I push open the door, and the pop song playing grows louder as it echoes off the bathroom walls.

Fallon stands in front of the mirror, running a brush through her long honey blonde hair.

She’s humming the words under her breath, swaying her body to the beat.

It’s adorable. She turns when she sees me, a smile playing on her lips.

Her cheeks turn pink, and I wonder if she’s remembering what our night entailed.

“Hey,” I say, offering her a wave.

She waves. “Oooh, they have cinnamon rolls downstairs? I’ll have to grab one.”

I gesture to the plate with a tip of my head. “I brought these for you.”

“You did?” She steps out of the bathroom into the hall. “Thank you, that was really sweet.”

I shrug. “No problem.” I hold out the plate to her, and she gratefully takes it.

Without thinking, I lean down, swiftly kissing her cheek.

Instantly, I stiffen and pull away, knowing I already broke the rule of “only one night”.

My cheeks heat as I look away, and then, remembering I also brought her coffee, I grab that from where it’s sitting in my elbow and hand it to her.

“Coffee, too?” she says, her voice growing an octave higher.

“Yep. You have it in your hand every time I see you at the winery, so I figured it was a safe bet.”

“You figured right.” She takes a deep inhale of the coffee, savoring the smell.

I glance around the room, seeing that she’s pulled the sheets up on the bed, and has already collected her things. My stuff is ready too, shoved into my duffel bag on the floor. “Looks like you’re ready to go. What time are you heading out?”

She shrugs. “Probably soon. There aren’t any events today, and honestly, I’m ready to get home to my girl.”

I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans, staring down at the floor. “Yeah, I know how that is. Though, I’m a little scared that Josie and Andrew won’t give me my kid back.”

“I bet they’re having fun.”

“I think so,” I say, running a hand through my short hair.

Fallon takes the coffee and plate from me, sitting down at the desk before taking a long sip of the coffee. She shivers as the warmth hits her tongue.

“For hotel coffee, this is surprisingly good,” she admits. She takes another sip, and then dives into the cinnamon roll. The moan that slides from her lips sends a jolt of electricity through my body.

She made the same noises last night when I was making her come.

My mind whirls as I consider the consequences of it.

Sure, it was amazing, and in the moment it was perfect, but maybe we shouldn’t have crossed that line.

I shouldn’t have given in last night and shared the bed with her, but I did.

I made things twice as complicated than they were before.

What if she was only saying those things about not wanting anything more last night? Was she only saying them to appease me? Am I going to break her heart in the process of this? I meant what I said last night. It could only be one night, and it shouldn’t have even happened.

I sit down on the end of the bed, pulling my phone out to scroll. I could leave right now, my stuff is packed and ready, but something is holding me back. She is holding me back. I don’t want to leave without her. I want to take advantage of this one-on-one time with her.

I admit it. I spent pretty much the entire weekend at her side, and yet, I want more. Need more time with her. Even though I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t.

I aimlessly scroll, but I’m not really paying attention to what I’m looking at. My focus is on her. She’s on her phone too, scrolling as she eats, and something about it makes me relax. Like there is no pressure to fill every silence with conversation.

After she’s finished eating her breakfast, she pushes her chair back to stand. She heads into the bathroom, collecting the last of her things and shoving them into her suitcase. “Well, I suppose it’s about time to go,” she says.

I stand from the edge of the bed. “Let me help you with your stuff,” I offer, reaching to grab her small duffle.

She shakes her head with a smile. “You have your own stuff to grab, Jason.”

I turn my head to look at my bag on the floor. “Right.” I bend down, grabbing my own bag and hauling it over my shoulder. “I can still take your bag though. I have another arm.”

Fallon raises her brows, but I hold out my free arm, making grabby hands for her bag. She scoffs under her breath, and says, “Alright.” She hands over the bag, and extends the handle on her rolling suitcase.

I glance over the room one last time, making sure we both have our phone chargers and anything else we might have forgotten. When I’m satisfied, I head toward the door. Opening it, I step to the side, allowing her to go out first. She smiles softly, looking down at her feet as her cheeks flush.

She walks through the open door, and I step through behind her, letting it fall shut after me. We make our way through the halls and into the elevator.

“Where did you park?” I ask.

“The parking ramp below the hotel. P2.”

I press the button marked P2, and the elevator starts to move down .

Fallon starts to speak, filling the silence. “I had a great time this weekend.”

I look over to her. She’s glancing up at me, her green eyes sparkling.

I could lose myself in those eyes. I rip my gaze away from her before I do.

I need to pull away. I can’t let myself get close to her again.

The last time I did, I had my first encounter with heartbreak.

It’s not just my heart I can be careless with anymore. I have Lennie to think about.

Last night was a lapse in judgement. I can’t do it again. I clear my throat, staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah, it was nice.”

The elevator dings our arrival, and when the doors open, I hold my arm out in front to prevent it from closing on her.

She walks through, pulling her suitcase behind her.

When we are clear of the doorway, she stops, stepping off to the side of the sidewalk.

“I guess this is goodbye.” She holds her arm out for her bag but I shake my head.

“Where’s your car? I’ll walk you there.” I can’t be more for her, but I can give myself a few more minutes to pretend.

She points a few rows down, and I gesture for her to lead the way.

We walk in silence, the only sound is the rolling of her suitcase on the pavement.

When we reach her car, I wait for her to unlock it, and then open the trunk for her.

I set her duffle in, and then reach forward, grabbing her rolling suitcase before she can.

She huffs, but doesn’t say anything. I can’t help it. I need to do this, need to be the one to help her. What if I wasn’t here and her suitcase rolled away before she could put it in the trunk?

That’s ridiculous. I know I’m being over the top. I know that I really can’t bear the thought of letting her go yet, but I don’t want to acknowledge it.

“Thanks,” she murmurs, shifting back awkwardly on her heels. I shove my free hand into my pocket, because if I don’t, I’m afraid of what I might do.

“Wh — ”

“I — ”

We both speak at the same time, and I stop, holding my hand out and snapping my mouth shut for her to continue.

“What happened last night…” she speaks slowly. “I wanted to thank you. I know it was only a one time thing, but I had fun. Like we said, it was comforting to have another person by my side all night. One that doesn’t kick me in the ribs when she lays sideways in the bed.”

I chuckle, my mood lightening. “It was nice. I’m sorry it can’t be more.”

She shrugs. “We are both on the same page, Jase. There’s nothing to apologize for. It’s nice to have your friendship again. I’ve missed you. More than I realized.”

“Me too,” I respond with a nod. Guilt hits me for thinking that maybe she wasn’t on the same page as me, but I realize now that we’re both adults. For lack of better words, we used each other for a mutual release, mutual comfort, and that’s all it was.

“Friends?” Fallon offers.

“Friends,” I confirm with a nod. She gives me one of her gorgeous smiles, making my heart skip a beat.

I lean forward, unable to stop myself. I open up my arms, wrapping her into my embrace.

She smells so good, a soft floral, with a hint of warmth.

I soak up every second I can of this, knowing it’s the only time it will happen.

“I guess I’ll see you later,” I say, pulling back from the hug.

With one final squeeze, Fallon does the same. “Thanks again.” She surprises me by standing up on her tiptoes, and pressing a kiss to my cheek.

Her lips are soft, and it reminds me of last night. Of the way her lips felt on my neck, my jaw, my mouth. She pulls away all too soon, and I take a step back, letting the sensation of her lips on my skin linger.

I awkwardly raise my hand in a wave, and turn away, walking backwards in the direction of my car. “Bye, sunshine,” I say. The nickname slips out again, and I watch as Fallon’s cheeks blaze, a smile coming across her face as she shakes her head.

“Bye, Jase.”

I watch her get into her car, and then cross the parking garage to my own. As I get into my car, I send a message off to Josie and Andrew, letting them know I’m on my way home.

As I watch her car leave the parking garage from my rearview mirror, I can’t help but wonder if I’m making a mistake by putting the barrier up between us, by shutting down my budding affection for the second time.