Page 18 of Can’t Let You Go (Ivy Ridge #3)
FALLON
“ C an I paint after dinner, Mom?” Presley asks as she takes a bite of her spaghetti. She has sauce all over her lips as she tries to slurp up a noodle.
“Sure, honey,” I say, finishing my last bite. “As soon as we clean up dinner, I’ll get your paint stuff.”
She nods in agreement, and starts to try and eat faster. I chuckle. “Take it slow, Pres. You don’t have to rush.”
My words seem to appease her, and she slows her bites. I head back into the kitchen to pack up the leftovers and load all the dirty dishes into the dishwasher.
Minutes later, Pres walks in with her empty plate and fork.
She puts them in the dishwasher, and we head down the hall to grab her painting stuff from the closet.
I help her get set up, then I sit down at the table and watch her.
My mind strays to earlier when I saw Jason and Lennie at the drugstore.
The poor girl wasn’t even awake and she looked miserable.
Jason looked a little frazzled too. He’s been on his own with her for a long time, so he has to be used to her getting sick, but he seemed so worried. I get it though. Anytime Presley gets sick, I’m usually a mess of anxiety.
I wonder if I should text him to make sure Lennie is okay. That’s totally normal, right? I can text him quick. Offer him a helping hand. Lord knows when Presley is sick I lose track of everything. The house ends up a mess, and I forget to shower for three days.
Decision made, I grab my phone off the table, and pull up his contact card. My heart flutters in my chest as I type out the message, and hit send before I can second guess it.
Me
Hey. How is Lennie doing? Do you need anything?
The bubbles appear on his end immediately. I didn’t expect him to reply so quickly.
Jason
I don’t know. Her temp is pretty high, and it hasn’t come down at all with the first dose of meds. Should I bring her in? I’m kinda panicking
Me
What was it?
Jason
102.5
And she puked all over
Me
Poor girl. What time did you give her the medicine? What did you give her?
My heart clenches. I’ve been there, and it’s not easy having a sick kiddo.
Jason
An hour ago, and it was that stuff you put in my cart
Me
Have you checked her temp since giving her the medicine?
Jason
Yeah. I did and it’s at 101.9, so down, but not much
Me
Give it another hour, then alternate with some ibuprofen. I saw that in your cart too. The med I gave you has acetaminophen in it. You can alternate the two of them every two hours.
Jason
Really? It’s not going to hurt her?
Me
Nope, she’ll be fine.
His worry is sweet, and I’m happy I’m able to help him in this situation. It’s nice to have someone to lean on in times like this.
Jason
Okay, I’ll set an alarm.
Me
In the meantime, you could give her a lukewarm/cool bath to help her cool down. Make sure she’s drinking fluids.
Jason
I’m not sure why I’m panicking so much this time. She’s been sick before. She’s going to be sick again.
Me
Don’t worry, I get this way too. Keep an eye on her tonight, and if the fever doesn’t drop, take her into urgent care tomorrow. Or, if your gut tells you to. Worst that can happen is they say it’s a cold and send you home.
Jason
That’s a good point. Thanks. I feel better already.
Me
Of course. I’m happy to help, I’m sorry she’s not feeling well.
Jason
Me too. She doesn’t get sick often.
Me
It’s funny how it always happens shortly after school ends too.
You’d think they’d get so sick at the end of the school year when they’re still around all of their classmates, but it’s like as soon as school is done, boom, they get super sick.
It’s usually what happens to Presley, but so far *knocks on wood* she’s been good this year.
Don’t get me started on bringing them in to the doctor.
It always seems like when you think you have to bring them in, so sure they have an ear infection or something, they’re perfectly fine, and it’s a cold.
But then, the time you decide to wait it out, it ends up being an ear infection when you do decide to bring them in eventually.
Jason
Huh. I’ve never put two and two together. I know she’s going to be bummed when I tell her we can’t go visit the new babies tomorrow.
And right? Tell me about it. I can’t count how many doctor bills I have for visits that we didn’t end up needing to go in for.
Me
Yeah, that’s going to be tough. But I’m sure she will understand when you explain that she doesn’t want to get the new babies sick.
I look up from my phone, and see Presley painting a flower on her paper. “Wow, that’s really pretty, honey,” I tell her.
“Thanks,” she responds, still completely engrossed in her art.
Jason doesn’t respond again for a few hours, and I try not to overthink it. Is Lennie okay? Did he bring her to the doctor?
Once Presley is done painting, it’s time to wind down for the night, so she takes a quick bath and snuggles in her pajamas.
She picks out one of her Junie B. Jones books, and starts to read.
She’s such a fast reader. She can usually finish one of the books in a night.
She doesn’t have me read to her anymore, which is fine, but we still sit together each night.
We do our usual routine after she reads, and she falls asleep as easily as always.
I pour myself a glass of wine and sit down on the couch. I pull out my phone, wondering if Jason has replied, or sent an update. The conversation was at a natural end, but I can’t help but want to make sure both he and Lennie are okay .
With my phone empty of notifications, I settle in, putting on a movie I haven’t seen in a long time. I’m finishing the glass of wine when my phone rings. Jason’s name is on the screen, and I panic, thinking something is wrong with Lennie.
“Jason?” I answer.
“Hey,” he says, his voice low and tired.
“Is everything okay?”
I can hear his heavy sigh. “Yeah. She's fine. The fever went down to ninety-nine, and she’s asleep now. Her cough is ramping up, though. I might take her in in the morning, depending on how tonight goes.”
My heart twists when I hear Lennie let out a cough in the background. Poor girl. I nod to myself before speaking. “Good. I’m glad she’s doing okay.”
“Me too,” he replies, his voice turning gruff. “I wanted to apologize.”
I pause before responding. What could he have to apologize for? “Apologize?” I ask.
“Yeah.” He briefly pauses. “I shouldn’t have bothered you earlier with my frantic messages.”
“Jase — ” I blurt the shortened version of his name before I can second guess it. I used to call him that all the time in college, and now, things are different. We’re different. “Jason. You have nothing to apologize for. I get it. Sick kids are stressful.”
I can practically hear him shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have texted you though. I could have called my mom or something. I took your attention away from your own daughter.”
I stop him before he can say anything more. “Jason, please. Don’t apologize. That’s what friends are for. And trust me, I get not wanting to call your mom. Plus, I texted you first, remember?”
He lets out a heavy, soul-weary sigh. “I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.”
“Being a single parent is hard work on a good day. Just because you’re a single parent doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.” I repeat the words my mom tells me all the time.
The line is silent. “Do you feel guilty?” Jason asks after a long moment. “Like when your mom watches Presley, or you have to work and miss dropping her off at a birthday party or something? Do you ever feel guilty?”
I pause. Because yeah, I do. Every day. My mind automatically replays the conversation I had with Megan about this.
“Shit — ” he mutters. “I overstepped.”
“No,” I interrupt him. “I was trying to come up with the words. I feel guilty all the time. It’s exhausting. Every bedtime I miss, or when she has a bad night because she misses her dad, and doesn’t understand why he’s not there anymore, I have so much guilt I swear it’s going to eat me alive.”
“God, you have no idea how good it is to know I’m not the only one.”
“Not by a long shot,” I reply with a laugh.
“None of my siblings or friends understand. I can’t talk to my parents about it, because they’d tell me they don’t mind watching Lennie, that they love her so much and are happy to help.”
“That’s how my mom is too. Megan tries to help and understand, but she has such a busy schedule, that I feel bad venting about how tired I am, when she’s literally saving lives.”
The conversation hits a lull, and for a moment, I’m reminded of our college days again. He’s talking so freely, something he hasn't done with me since we’ve reunited.
“We should probably set the girls up on another playdate,” he says, surprising me. I’ve been the one to reach out every time to set up a playdate. Never once in any of the time we’ve been going on playdates, has he initiated one.
“Yeah,” I agree. “Presley has been wanting to go to the splash pad now that it’s open. Maybe we could take them there?”
“Lennie would love that. She’s a waterbug.”
“So’s Pres.”
“My mom was thinking about taking Lennie to the Children’s Museum in a few weeks. Would you want her to take Presley too? Maybe your mom could tag along. I’m sure our moms would get along no problem.”
“That sounds perfect. I bet they’d love it.”
“Do you remember the night of the Christmas party?” Jason asks, abruptly changing the subject.
“The Christmas party?” I ask, my mind drawing a blank. I haven’t attended a Christmas event since living here, so I don’t know what he’s talking about, unless… “Wait, the one you had at your house in college?”
“Yeah.”
The memories begin to flash through my mind one by one, as if playing on a movie screen.
"How could I forget?” I state. What I don’t say is how I remember every moment of that night. Every unexpected touch, every flirty comment and the way he held me close, held me in a way he never had before.