Page 35 of Can’t Let You Go (Ivy Ridge #3)

I shrug, doing my best to keep my face passive. “Thanks. I’m doing better now. It was rough for a while, but now that I’m settled here, and have my mom close by, things are good.”

“I’m glad you’re here, even if I want to break Brad’s nose for the way he treated you,” he says, and I can’t help but look at him again. He’s looking down at me, those brown eyes so full of emotion because of me.

“I’m glad I am too.” My chest almost seems lighter after telling him. Sure, he knew the basics of my story, but being the one to get it all out in the open, to give him that piece of me, it’s cathartic.

The girls are both red faced as they point and croon over the zebras, so I offer them more water, making sure they both drink a good amount, and even go as far as putting some on the back of their necks to help cool them down.

We definitely won’t be here much longer.

The heat is getting to me and I’m not running around the way they are.

We take another break inside, and I sit down on one of the benches by the penguin exhibit. Jason stands behind the girls, pointing out one of the smaller penguins up in the corner, lifting each of them so they can see it.

He’s such an amazing dad. He even reminds me of my own father when he was alive.

He treats his daughter with the utmost care and love.

It makes me grieve for my own father, and wish he was around to see my daughter, to give me a hug and tell me I’m doing right by her, that she’s going to be okay even though she doesn’t have a dad.

Once you get past Jason’s hard exterior, he’s like a soft marshmallow inside.

He loves his family so fiercely, and would do anything for them.

I also know that if I let myself, I could fall for Jason Cunningham, even harder than I already have.

That realization burrows its claws into my chest. Heavy and unforgiving.

Because that’s the reality of it all. No matter what I say about the bullshit of being friends, I want more, crave it.

Crave the comfort he brings me, the same comfort he did back in college.

The heaviness in my gut spreads through my body, making me lightheaded. The heat is doing wild things to me. That’s all this is. Right? My heart pounds rapidly, and suddenly, I can’t catch my breath.

I look to where Jason stands with the girls, holding each of their hands, and there’s that apprehension again.

Out of control. Leaning back into the metal bench, I try to get myself together, but it’s no luck.

Jason turns, catching my eye with a soft smile, and I try to smile back, but I’m sure it looks more like a grimace.

He furrows his brows when he sees me, and tugs the girls away from the penguins, heading over to me.

“Fallon?” His concern is evident in his tone. “Are you okay?”

I lift my hand in a wave. “Oh, yes, fine.”

He doesn’t buy it.

“Mommy, are you okay?” my daughter asks, and I nod. My mouth has gone so dry I physically can’t form the words. Have I been drinking water? My skin is clammy, and I’m totally out of sorts.

“Shit,” Jason mutters, dropping the girls’ hands, and rushing to my side at the bench. “Have you been drinking enough water?”

I nod, but I’m not really all that sure. My hands are shaking as I try to reach out for Presley, but I can’t move any more.

Jason pulls my water bottle from the pocket of our bag, handing it to me right away. “Drink, slowly,” he says, and I hold the heavy bottle in my hands. I sip the cool water, letting it soothe the dryness consuming me.

Jason takes his hat off, and starts waving it in front of me, giving me a semi-cool breeze on my clammy face.

It’s nice. He then digs into his bag, grabbing an extra shirt of Lennie’s.

He takes his own water from the bag, and douses a corner of the shirt in water before pushing my ponytail to the side and dabbing the back of my neck.

The cool fabric helps immensely. “Keep drinking, but not too fast,” Jason keeps saying, asking me over and over if I’m alright, if I think I’m going to pass out or not.

I shake my head every time. I don’t think I’ll pass out, but I guess you never really know for sure. I glance up to my daughter and nearly cry at the sight. She looks utterly terrified, and Lennie is standing at her side.

Presley is trying not to cry, and Lennie is holding her hand, her face as scared as Presley’s.

“I’m okay,” I repeat, trying to reassure her.

“Come here, sweetie.” I reach out to her and she rushes to my side, sitting on my left, while Jason is on my right.

He’s still dabbing at my neck, my forehead, my cheeks, my chest, everywhere with the wet fabric.

We sit on the bench for a long time while Jason makes sure I’m rehydrating and cooling down. In between waving the hat in my face, he’s also making sure the girls and himself are drinking water. Thankfully, no one seems to have noticed us in this little corner, or if they have, they’ve ignored us.

Once I’m doing better, no longer shaking or lightheaded, I stop Jason from waving his hat. “I’m better, promise.” He raises his brow in question, and I nod. “Really. I’m good. Thank you.”

He leans back into the bench, and puts his hat back on, only this time, he puts it on backwards, and shit.

It’s like he’s trying to make me have a flashback to college.

That damned hat. He used to wear one nearly every day, and it was almost rare to see him without it.

It almost looks better now than it did back then.

“Should we go home?” Jason asks, and I glance down at both the girls. I don’t want to cut the day short, but also, I definitely don’t want to go back into the heat for a long time.

They’re both nodding before I can even say anything, and I’m grateful for it. “You three stay here,” Jason says, his eyes darting from me to the exit. “I’ll go start the truck and pull it around. I’ll text you when to start coming to the entrance.”

I agree, grateful for him. The thought of climbing into a burning hot vehicle right now sounds like my worst nightmare. The girls and I stay on the bench, watching the penguins play and splash around their space, and within ten minutes, there’s a text from Jason telling us to head to the entrance.

I gather the girls and we walk hand in hand through the zoo.

It’s still as disgustingly hot, but now that I have some water in me, I’m not quite as sick.

Jason’s waiting for us in his truck at the entrance as promised, and he opens the passenger door for me, helping me in and closing the door before helping the girls get buckled in.

My heart pitter-patters in my chest at the sweetness of it all.

He didn’t have to help me into the car, I’m perfectly capable, but he did anyway.

Jason gets in the driver's seat, and takes a deep, long, breath. As he exhales, he looks over to me. The girls are in their own world, talking about all the animals, so they aren’t paying us any mind.

“You’re okay?” he asks me, his tone questioning and unsure.

“Yes.” I reach over to rest my hand on top of his. “I promise. I’m really sorry. I should have taken better care of myself. I was so focused on the girls, I forgot about myself.”

Jason’s eyes are narrowed as he looks over again. “You can’t do that, Fallon. I get you were taking care of the girls, but you have to take care of yourself too.”

“I know,” I reply. “You’re right.”

“You scared the shit out of me,” he says with a lowered voice so the girls don’t hear him curse.

My throat thickens and I swallow hard, trying to get rid of the lump that’s appeared. “I’m sorry, Jason. I’m better now. I’ll relax once you drop us off, and everything will be fine.”

He doesn’t reply as he looks away and shifts the truck into gear and drives us away from the zoo. His fingers are clenched tight around the steering wheel during the entire drive, and he doesn’t say another word to me. He’s frustrated with me, I can tell.

We pull into my driveway, and Jason unbuckles, surprising me. “What are you doing?” I ask as I unbuckle myself.

He ignores me, shifting his body backwards to speak to the girls. “Girls, head inside. Lennie, we’re going to play here for a while.”

The girls squeal in delight and quickly unbuckle and run to the front door.

I glance over at Jason, my eyes wide. “You can’t be alone right now,” is the only explanation he gives me.

“Keys,” he says, holding out his palm. I hand him my house keys, and he turns off the truck, climbing out and grabbing the bags from the back seat.

Slowly, I follow him, completely at a loss.

I know he’s probably stressed I almost passed out, but I’m fine now.

There’s no reason for him to stick around if he’s mad at me.

Brad used to stick the knife in and twist it every time he was upset with me, and make the argument drag on for much longer than it needed to. I don’t want that now. I want to relax.

I follow him into my house, and the cool air is incredible. I do a quick glance around to make sure it’s at least semi-clean, and thankfully, there isn’t any dirty laundry in the living room, or unwashed dishes on the counter.

Jason walks through the house with purpose, as if it’s not his first time here, and heads straight to the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” I ask as I rush to follow him.

“Getting them a snack. Go take a shower.” His voice is clipped, and he still won’t look at me as he searches through my fridge. “You still need to cool down, and a shower will help you feel better.”

“I’m fine, Jason,” I reply. “I can do this, go relax.”

He shakes his head, not meeting my eyes yet again. “Fallon, go.” When he finally looks at me for the first time since we pulled away from the zoo, there’s a mix of stress and emotion all over his face. “I’ve got the girls for a little bit. Please.”

“O-Okay,” I stammer, turning and leaving the kitchen. “Call me if you need anything?”

He agrees, and I head down the hall to my bathroom, turning the shower on. He’s right, I still am overheated, despite the water and sitting in the cool car. And I probably stink from all the sweat.

I take a quick, cool shower, not bothering to do much besides rinse myself and wash my sweaty hair. When I’m dressed in fresh clothes, my hair towel-dried, I head back to the sound of happy, squealing voices.

I’m shocked when I round the corner into the living room at what I see, though. The girls are dressed up in Presley’s princess gowns, with plastic tiaras on their heads, and clip-on earrings and necklaces adorning their skin.

That’s not what’s jarring, though. No, it’s Jason.

He’s sitting next to them with his own tiara and earrings.

I notice the game board in the middle of them, and realize they are playing “Pretty Pretty Princess.” It was my favorite game as a kid, and my mom still had my old game from when I was young.

We had to replace some of the jewelry and add a few crowns, but the game was still intact, so I took it when Presley was old enough to play.

She absolutely loves it, and clearly, Lennie does too.

Before they realize I’m here, I whip my phone out, snapping a few photos.

It’s an adorable sight, and proves even more how much of an amazing dad Jason is.

When he spots me, he immediately stands, telling the girls to keep playing and he’ll be right back.

He strides toward me, turning me and placing his hand at the base of my spine, leading me into the kitchen.

Once we’re in the quiet of the kitchen, he spins me around to face him. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” I reply. “The shower helped. Thank you. You don’t have to stick around, I promise I’m good now. It was a fluke.”

Jason sighs heavily, and tilts his head back. With the motion, he realizes he still has the tiara on his head, and quickly removes it, as well as the earrings.

"Why do you seem so frustrated with me? I'm fine,” I say, taking a deep breath.

"You're not fine. You should be more careful." His voice is tight, like he’s trying to hold back something he’s feeling, something I can’t quite place.

"Where is this coming from? Jason, what is going on? I told you, I’m fine.” I reach out, trying to grasp his arm, but he shakes his head.

“I can’t bear the thought of something bad happening to you, Fallon. What if I wasn’t there today?”

“Jason, it was an accident.” I am trying to understand what is going through his brain right now, but if he won’t let me in, how am I supposed to know?

“It was ninety-five degrees out today. I could have been doing everything right, staying hydrated and cool, and I still could have passed out. It’s not my fault.

Why are you reacting like this? You took care of me.

I’m fine. The girls are fine. We had a fun day, and the girls are happy. ”

Jason turns, resting both his hands on the countertop, his head bowing between his shoulders as he takes a deep breath.