Page 55 of Burn Bag (Owens Protective Services #31)

DAPHNE

I groaned, vomiting for the third day in a row at the ass-crack of dawn.

I could no longer deny the signs I’d experienced over the last few days, or the fact that my period was two weeks late.

I was pregnant, which was absolutely wonderful aside from the fact that I was nowhere near my husband, I was trapped in the middle of the desert, and apparently, there were no crackers in sight to ease the ache in my stomach.

I laid back as my father walked into the tent, clucking his tongue at me as he studied my pitiful state. “Well, I think it might be time to call it quits, sweetie.”

“No,” I moaned, refusing to give in. “I’ll be fine. I just need a minute.” The stifling heat of the tent was worse than being outside, but it protected me from the intensity of the sun. And since I could hardly keep anything down, my father insisted I stay in here.

“That’s what you said three days ago. And you’re still passed out in your tent. ”

“I’ve been awake the whole time,” I grumbled. “Awake and trying desperately not to puke everywhere.”

He laughed at me. Actually fucking laughed. I could kill him, except he was my father and that would be frowned upon. Not to mention, I had no ancient Egyptian skills to actually mummify him.

“Honey, I think we both know you don’t want to be here. You’re sick and I think you might want to tell your husband about your news.” He nodded his head toward my belly, where my hands rested.

“I don’t think I could get on a plane right now,” I mumbled, just wanting a little bit of sleep. God, I felt so horrible. Everything inside me was swirling and the idea of even moving from this cot just made my stomach feel even worse.

“Well, maybe you don’t have to do a thing.”

“How’s that?” I asked, letting my eyes slip closed for a moment.

But he didn’t answer. I pried my lids open and looked around, but he was nowhere in sight. Great, he abandoned me, too. I was all alone with my thoughts, wishing I could just be back in the air conditioning in my bed.

“No! You can’t make me go in there!”

I jerked upright in bed, sure that I heard Bradley’s voice.

“I won’t— Don’t put me anywhere near a mummy!”

Forgetting about my roiling stomach, I jumped off the cot and ran for the opening, flinging the tent flap aside only to stop in my tracks to see Red and Eli holding Bradley up as he fought them with everything in him.

I raced over to him, cupping his cheeks in my hands as I tried to get him to focus on me. “Bradley! It’s me!”

“Daphne?” he murmured. Then his eyes rolled back and he passed out, collapsing to the ground with hardly any support from his teammates.

“Nice,” I snapped at them.

“What did we do?” Eli asked.

“You brought him out here? What were you thinking?” I yelled.

“We were thinking that if we didn’t get him to you, your house would be taken over by wild animals,” Red muttered as he bent over and hauled Bradley to his feet. “Help me get him inside.”

Eli took up the other side while I hurried ahead of them and held open the tent flap. As soon as he was on the cot, I grabbed a water bottle and poured some on his face, waking him up instantly.

He jerked upright and looked around wildly. “Where is it? Is it coming?”

“Is what coming?”

He snatched my hand, pulling me closer. “The mummy. Did it escape?”

“Bradley, the mummy is still very safe in his tomb. I promise you, we haven’t unleashed any curses on you.”

“You swear it?” he asked.

“I swear.”

He visibly deflated in front of me, but the relief was short-lived. “Why do you look so pale? Did something happen? Are you okay? Why are you in here? Did you fall and hit your head again?”

“Bradley!” I shouted, stopping his rambling. “I’m fine. I swear.”

“You don’t look fine.” The concern on his face brought a smile to mine.

I grabbed his hand and placed it on my tummy, hoping he understood what I was trying to say.

He looked down, and then back to me warily. “Either you’re trying to tell me you’re having a baby or that a mummy is inside you and I should run. If it’s the second, I’m going to need you to be very clear before I chop your head off. Or do I burn you alive?”

“Christ,” Red muttered as I laughed.

“I believe you’re thinking of a zombie. And I’m not sure if any of those options actually kills a zombie, but I’m pretty sure it won’t kill a mummy.”

“So…you’re not having some weird Mummy transformation. You’re still you.”

“Still me, but plus one,” I grinned. “Plus one very human one,” I repeated for clarification .

“Oh, thank God.” He gripped his chest as he took a sharp breath. “Cuz, I gotta be honest, I wouldn’t hesitate to kill you if you’d been infected with some mummy virus.”

“Good to know,” I nodded. “Now, not that I’m not thrilled to see you, but why are you here?”

He scowled at his friends, who were not doing a great impression of wallflowers, and muttered, “Because they kidnapped me.”

“We did what we had to do,” Eli snapped. “Your house is a disaster.”

“Really? That’s not like you,” I frowned. Geez, was he really that depressed with me gone? Not that I could say anything. I’d been miserable without him.

“It’s not like I tore the place apart on purpose. I couldn’t get rid of the puppy. I told you what it was like for Tigger. He loves the dog! I had no choice but to keep him.”

I nodded, biting my lip as he tried to explain the situation. “I would have done the same thing.”

“That’s what I figured. In fact, I said to myself, what would Daphne do? And so I kept the dog.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And the birds?” Red snapped. “Tell her about how I found you sneaking into your house with a giant cage.”

He rolled his eyes at Red. “It wasn’t like that. I brought home a Macaw. It was lonely at the pet store!”

Oh, my poor husband. I knew exactly where this was going. I had been there, and I had most definitely done that. Well, I rescued kittens. I didn’t bring home birds.

“So, is it just the one?”

He started to nod, but then stopped and sighed. “No, it’s two.”

Red cleared his throat.

“Fine, it’s five, okay?”

I nearly choked on a gasp. “F—five birds?”

“Yes, but they’re a family,” he said defensively.

“I thought it was only four?” Red said, narrowing his eyes at my husband .

“I had one in the downstairs bedroom,” he muttered. “Not that it matters. It’s my fucking house. I can have as many birds as I want.”

“And the monkeys?” Eli asked.

“Monkeys?” I gasped, a smile breaking free. “You got monkeys?”

“Two of them,” he grinned. “They were really fucking cute.”

“Capuchin?”

He gave me a sheepish grin. “I named one Marcel.”

I tossed my head back and laughed, earning me scowls from his friends. They clearly didn’t understand how awesome this was. “This is so amazing!”

“Yeah?” Red snapped. “Tell me that when you go home and find a raccoon digging through your garbage.”

Okay, a raccoon was a little much.

“I named him Fred.”

But with a name like that, how could I be upset?

“And I also may have gotten a couple of turtles. Frank and Francine.”

“Aww.” I nearly started crying. It was just so freaking cute. My husband was turning into an animal lover like me.

“What the hell?” Red snapped. “You’re not supposed to be happy about this! Your house is filled with animals!”

“I know, but…he did it for me.”

“I would do anything for you,” he said earnestly, cupping my face with his hands. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

I was just about to lean in and kiss him when he pulled back and winced. “I should probably tell you that there’s a fox upstairs named Tod.”

“Did you name him after The Fox And The Hound ?”

His lips twitched in amusement. “I may have.”

“I say we leave him here to be eaten by a mummy,” Eli grumbled.

“That’s so sweet,” I whispered. “Have I told you I love you?”

“Yes, but you can tell me again.”

I leaned in and pressed a light kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Eli said mockingly, scoffing as he turned away from us. “Come on, Red. Let’s go find us a mummy to bring home. With any luck, they’ll jump out of the plane on the flight home.”

Red and Eli stomped out of the tent, both of them annoyed with us and our sappy love of animals.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” I whispered. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too. Hence, all the animals.”

“Yeah, well…I’ve been snapping at everyone. I’m pretty sure my parents were about to ship me home to you. I haven’t even seen my mom in three days.”

“I would have gladly taken you. Seriously, though. How are you feeling?”

“So much better since you got here.”

“That’s been about five minutes.”

“It’s been the best five minutes of my entire time here.”

He looked relieved, but I wasn’t sure how much of that was because he knew he wouldn’t have to stay long or that I was just as miserable. I wasn’t sure it was a smart question to ask, either.

“So, we can go home now? There’s nothing urgent you need to take care of?”

“Not even a little.”

“Good, then I’ll have us on the first flight home. The sooner we get out of here, the faster we can get away from all these curses.”

“I really doubt there are any curses,” I chuckled. “Remember, I’ve been around mummies all my life and not yet have I dropped dead.”

“Then let’s not risk this being the time it catches on.”

“Catches on? It’s not the plague.”

“Yes, but there were plagues in Egypt, so again, let’s get out of here.”

He tugged me to my feet and spun around, only to gasp when a man carrying a gold head mask over his face appeared in the opening of the tent. My husband screamed like a little girl and promptly passed out, crashing into a table filled with pots that were probably thousands of years old.

Sighing, I shook my head at the heap on the ground and turned back to the man in the mask. “Fox…that was not nice. ”

He removed it from his face, frowning at me. “How did you know it was me?”

“I smelled the Funyuns.”

There’s only one book to finish the series. Don’t miss Coup De Grace!