Page 30 of Burn Bag (Owens Protective Services #31)

KAVANAUGH

“She’s fucking insane!” Red snapped, watching as my wife stalked toward the buyer with a rifle in her hands.

“I know that,” I gritted out.

“She’s not even holding it right. She’s gonna burn her fucking hands!”

One problem at a time. The fact that she was holding the rifle in the first place was the biggest problem. The second was the fact that she’d somehow managed to turn off the safety. The third was that she was swinging it around like it was a toy gun.

“Daphne,” I said calmly. “Give me the rifle.”

She swung her gaze in my direction, the weapon shifting with her. I hit the deck, terrified she was going to shoot me on accident. When nothing happened, I peeked out from under my hands, glad to find her pointing the rifle toward the ground now.

Slowly, I got to my feet and took a step toward her with Red at my side. My fingers itched to grab the weapon, but I knew with the way she was holding it, she was likely to hurt herself or someone else.

“You don’t think she’d actually fire it, do you?” Red muttered.

I glanced at the cats in the cages and then back to her. She had this gleam in her eyes that had me seriously questioning the sanity of the woman I married.

“It’s a toss-up at this point.”

“We could pull a Fast Mary.”

I glared at him out of the corner of my eye. “On my wife?”

He shrugged. “Hey, you married her without knowing the crazy she brought with her. This is on you.”

He was right, and I definitely had to stop this before she shot someone. But my wife was determined to see this through. I could see it in her eyes. I was going to have to proceed with caution.

“Daphne,” I said gently. “Why don’t you put down the gun before you shoot one of the cats.”

She rolled her eyes at me, scowling like I was an idiot. “I’m not going to shoot the cats! I’m not an idiot.”

“She should definitely do it.”

That voice. Fucking hell, I should have known he would show up at the worst possible time. If ever there was a time to stuff a man full of Funyuns, it was right now.

I glared at Fox as he strode around the back of the vehicle, gnawing on some kind of meat still on the bone. Sauce coated his fingers, not that he cared. The man did as he liked, including eating at a newbie gunfight.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I snapped.

“Well, I heard we were transporting some cats. I figured I had to see this, and it looks like I was right.” He grinned widely, tipping his imaginary hat at Daphne. “Ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

“Fox—”

“These men are buying and selling cats for fighting!” Daphne cried out.

Fox tossed aside the bone, wiping his hands on his pants as he strode to Daphne’s side. “Well, that’s just not right. Why would you do that?” he asked the buyer.

The man stared at Fox like he was crazy, which he was. “This has nothing to do with you. I made a deal and I want it honored!”

“A deal for these beautiful creatures that you want to use for fighting? That just seems silly,” Fox grinned, his eyes taking on that crazed look that had me scooting a step closer to Daphne.

He cocked his head at Daphne. “Do you know how to use that thing?”

“It can’t be too hard. Point and shoot. That’s what they do in the movies.”

Chuckling, he wrapped his hand around the barrel and swiped it from her before she could protest. I breathed a sigh of relief and glanced back at Red, who did the same.

“We don’t start with the big guns, sweetie. Here?—”

“Fox!” I shouted, darting forward, but it was too late. He handed her a throwing knife and started positioning her hand around it.

“Now, what you want to do is hold it firm, but not too tight. This can be your best friend if you let it. It’s all in the wrist.”

“Can we get on with this?” the buyer shouted. “I have places to be!”

Fox stiffened, standing up straight as he faced down the man. “Excuse me, but I was trying to give the lady a lesson. Don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt?”

“I’m in the middle of a deal!”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen,” Fox laughed.

The man started to move and I cursed under my breath, already knowing what was going to happen.

It took exactly one second for Fox to snatch his throwing knife and launch it at the man, embedding it in his foot.

The man screamed for mercy as he fell to his knees, his hands cupping his foot as blood pooled under his shoe.

“Fucking hell,” I muttered, scrubbing a hand down my face.

“Well, that’s one way to end the standoff,” Red chuckled.

“He’s teaching my wife bad habits.”

“Better yours than mine,” he grunted. “He actually gave my firstborn a set of throwing knives this year.”

“Now, how about we deal with this like gentlemen,” Fox said, turning to the seller. He twirled his knives in his hand and faced off with both men. “I can see that coming to an agreement is going to be rather difficult. Therefore, I propose you both walk away and leave me to deal with the cats. ”

“Are you fucking insane?” the seller shouted. “Those are my cats!”

Fox stalked over to him, the knife between his fingers suddenly pressed against the man’s cheek. “Did you just ask if I was insane?”

“I—Those are my cats,” he answered with a wobbly voice.

“ Your cats, and you were going to sell them for fighting. What kind of psycho does that?”

That was amusing at best—Fox calling someone else a psycho. He suddenly turned, slicing the knife across the man’s cheek in one swift movement.

“Well, this job went to shit fast,” Eli grumbled.

“Lock is gonna be pissed,” I agreed.

“Not nearly as pissed as when we show up with a million dollars worth of cats.”

“Look,” the seller stuttered, his eyes shifty as he stumbled back a step. “I—I was just trying to make a buck. Those cats are worth a lot of money!”

“So much money, you were willing to sell them to enter a fighting ring where they might die,” Fox retorted.

“No, I see this going only one way.” He slowly trailed the knife down the man’s body until it hovered just above the waistline of his pants.

“We’re going to pack up those cats and take them home with us.

You’re going to go on your merry way and never speak a word of this. ”

The man’s eyes widened in surprise. “But all that money?—”

Fox flicked his wrist, pressing the knife right to his cock.

“Do you think we should stop this?” Eli asked, rocking back on his heels.

Sighing, I stepped forward and pressed myself as much as I could between Fox and the seller. “We’ll compensate you for the cats.”

“What?” Fox barked. “He doesn’t deserve a fucking dime!”

I grabbed his wrist and jerked the knife away from the man, pushing Fox back a step. “And Lock will have a conniption if we get sued.”

With a roll of his eyes, Fox holstered his knife. “Sure, if you want to worry about legalities. You could just let me boil him, and then we wouldn’t have anything to worry about. ”

“Boil?” the man shouted.

“Oh, hush up. I would make it relatively painful,” Fox jeered.

The man stumbled back a step, and then another until he was retreating to his vehicle.

Eli followed to make sure that first, he’d keep his mouth shut, and second, we had somewhere to send the fucking money so this didn’t end up in court.

There was no possible way to explain to a judge the eccentricities of Fox.

“I had him right where I wanted him,” Fox grumbled.

“Yeah, about to sue us for a million dollars, plus damages.”

“Not if you had let me boil him.”

“Fox, you can’t kill every person you don’t like.”

His head snapped to glare at me. “There’s a difference between not liking someone and needing to rid them from this earth because they’re evil. He was going to make the cats fight!”

I was about to argue when Daphne ran up to Fox and threw herself into his arms, pressing a kiss to his lips. “You’re my hero!”

I scowled at her, and Fox tore her from his body, grinning at her. “Well, I appreciate the thanks, but I’m a married man, and these lips are only for my wife.”

“Sorry about that. You can tell her it was out of extreme enthusiasm and I lost my mind.”

“I’ll do that.”

“And maybe you could show me more about throwing knives when we get home. What you did was absolutely?—”

I’d had enough of and gripped her by the arm, jerking her away from Fox, who I was now considering tossing in my own vat of acid for daring to allow my wife to kiss him.

“There will be no knife throwing. There will be no fucking kissing other men. And there will absolutely be no more contact between the two of you!”

“Oh, relax,” Daphne grinned. “It was purely friendly. Besides, he just saved all these cats!”

“Yes, and now I have to pay for them so the company doesn’t get sued,” I argued. “What the fuck am I supposed to do with a million dollars’ worth of cats? ”

Daphne spun and opened her mouth, but I cut her off immediately, already knowing where she was going with this. “We are not adopting all these cats.”

“But they’re so beautiful!”

I stepped forward, getting in her face. There was a lot I could deal with, but ten more cats was too fucking much. I would not be cowed by her sweet smile or those gorgeous eyes. I was the man of the house and I fucking knew when to put my foot down.

“No. More. Fucking. Cats.”

I held my drink in the air as a cat leapt over my lap, nearly knocking my glass from my hand.

The damn leopard cats were a lot more feisty and playful than the other kittens, and somehow, they all liked to be around me.

One was curled up at my feet, and another was behind my head on the back of the chair.

“Daphne!” There was no fucking way I could deal with this.

I’d fucking told her no more cats, yet here I was with another ten cats in my house.

We had seven robot litter boxes and litter by the twenty-five-pound bag.

Food was stacked in my garage in large containers, which was the only way to keep the cats from tearing into the bags for more food.

Apparently, the massive amount they inhaled each day wasn’t enough.