Page 43 of Burn Bag (Owens Protective Services #31)

KAVANAUGH

I couldn’t stop staring at my new truck. She was beautiful. It was getting to the point that I stopped what I was doing to go to the window and look outside at her. She was just so damn gorgeous.

“Like it still?” Daphne asked, wrapping her arms around my waist.

“Fucking love it.”

“Good. I hope that can at least partially make up for what I did.”

I turned in her arms, pressing a kiss to her lips. “Baby, it’s water under the bridge.”

“Maybe for you. I’m pretty sure Duke is still pretty pissed at me.”

“Nah. He’s getting a new shop out of it. He may act pissed, but inside, he’s foaming at the mouth with all the upgrades he’s squeezing out of Lock.”

“Great,” she rolled her eyes. “So, now Lock can be pissed at me.”

“Oh, he’s definitely pissed. He’s talking about all the women taking a special driving course.”

I knew that would get to her. She stepped back, indignant as hell. “All the women? Why not the men?”

“Well, because the men don’t get in accidents.”

“Oh, really?” she snapped .

“Well, I mean, there have been a few, but not because a spider jumped out at them or because they were about to hit a fence.”

Her jaw snapped shut as she turned to walk away. “Well, it doesn’t matter because I’m not driving anymore.”

“Baby, you have to drive at some point.”

“No, I don’t. I’ll just get rides when other people are going out.”

“And what if no one wants to take you?”

“Then I’ll get a taxi.”

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “In this small town? Where’s the taxi coming from?”

“Kansas City,” she snapped.

“Do you have any idea how expensive that would be?”

“Yes,” she fumed, “but there is no way I’m getting behind the wheel of a vehicle again!”

I knew this was going to be hard on her, but it had been over two weeks since the accident and she was still just as determined as the day it happened to never get behind the wheel again.

“Baby—”

“Don’t you dare Baby me. I said I’m not doing it.”

“And what if I’m injured and need to get to the hospital?”

“That’s what ambulances are for.”

“What if an ambulance isn’t available?”

She barked out an incredulous laugh. “Unavailable? That’s what they do. They answer emergency calls!”

“What if there’s a major accident somewhere and all the ambulances in the county are at that site? Are you going to leave me bleeding out on the floor?”

Snarling, she held up her fingers. “One, you work with medics. I’m sure one of them could tend to your wounds. Second, we live on a property with a bunch of ex-Army Ranger action heroes. I’m sure one of them could figure out how to drive you to the hospital. And three?—”

I quirked my eyebrow, waiting to hear what three was. “Yes?”

“Well, I don’t have a number three yet, but I’m not getting behind the wheel and you can’t make me! ”

She turned and marched up to the room, slamming the door behind her.

I winced at the sound and sat down in my chair, sighing when Tigger jumped into my lap.

The little Ashera cat had become my friend over the past few weeks, snuggling up to me any chance he got.

There were still way too many cats in the house, even though Daphne had been able to find homes for all but five of them.

And if I was being honest, I was getting used to having the cats around, even if I was still terrified they would use my balls as chew toys. But this guy was okay. “You still love me, don’t you, Tigger?”

I rolled my eyes. Great, I was talking to a cat. That was fucking perfect.

When the doorbell rang, I got up to answer it, letting Tigger crawl up my arm until he was wrapped around my neck. His tail swatted at my face playfully as I pulled the door open.

“Christ,” Eli muttered. “She got to you.”

I stepped aside as he shoved through the door. “Got to me, how?”

“You have a fucking cat around your neck.”

“Yeah, I do. He’s a cute little guy.”

“Well, you have to take ours back. He’s a demon cat.”

I found that hard to believe. “I’ve been living with all the cats for weeks. They’re not that bad.”

“Not that bad?” he laughed. “Do you remember what happened to you?”

“Yes, I remember, but they’re just kittens. They’re just playing.”

“Playing? I was in bed with Sarah last night and the fucker pounced when I was trying to?—”

He clamped his lips shut, refusing to say more.

“When you were trying to what?”

Gritting his teeth, he rocked back on his heels. Obviously, whatever it was, he didn’t want to say it out loud. “Look, the point is, we were being intimate, and the cat made a game out of it.”

“And?”

“And I swatted him off the bed and now I’m an asshole.”

“Well, how hard did you swat it? ”

He shrugged noncommittally, looking away from me. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“And now she’s pissed at you.”

“She took it to the vet. Apparently, it has a bruised lung. You should have seen the look she gave me. You’d have thought I murdered the cat!”

I pulled Tigger from around my neck, holding him a little closer. With Eli’s temper the way it was, I didn’t want him within ten feet of my baby. “It does seem like a bit of an overreaction.”

“Hey, that thing dug its claws into me. I was defending myself! That little fucker is lucky he’s still alive!”

I really tried not to laugh, but he was so worked up over this cat interfering with his love life. Then again, I’d been the same way when the cat attacked my balls.

“They’re just playing. They don’t get that you’re…getting it on.”

“Well, they should understand it. They’re mammals. They fuck, too.”

“Sure,” I nodded, trying to hold back my laughter. “Except, Sarah had yours fixed. I doubt he’s thinking about sex.”

“He should be. And what’s with us castrating them, anyway? That should be illegal.”

“Well, the general consensus is you do it so you don’t have a new litter of kittens every time you turn around.”

“It’s just not right. How would you feel if someone snipped you?”

“You forget that a cat nearly snipped me. And no, it was not pleasant.”

“Yet, you’re standing here with a cat wrapped around you. You fucking disgust me.”

“I’m really sorry about that. Maybe you should take it up with Fox. He had a whole cat army in mind. Maybe he’d take your cat as a test subject.”

His face lit with excitement. “Do you think he would?”

“Yes, he would. And no, I do not think you should start a cat army with Fox. Seriously, just give the kitten time to adjust. ”

“Time to adjust? What about me?” he snapped. “When do I get time to adjust?”

Daphne’s footsteps alerted me to her incoming presence, and I shot Eli a scowl, letting him know that under no circumstances was he allowed to bitch about the cat.

Bouncing up to us without a care in the world, Daphne shot my teammate a huge grin. “Hey, Eli! How’s the precious baby doing?”

He glared at me, clenching his jaw as he bit back what he really wanted to say. Finally, after an uncomfortable silence, he turned to Daphne and smiled. “Wonderful. The cat is a fucking peach.”

I stomped on his foot, not that Daphne noticed. All she heard was that the cat was a peach and she was satisfied.

“That’s great! I had a feeling about that one. He’s just so lovable and fluffy. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Eli answered gruffly.

“Well, I have to go. Harper’s picking me up to go to the store since somebody won’t let me order a truckload of cat supplies.”

“You don’t need a truckload of cat supplies when we’re going to have only one cat left!” I called out as she bounded down the steps.

Spinning, her dress twirled around her and her eyes sparkled in the sunlight. Fuck, she was gorgeous. Cocking her head at me, I knew whatever she was about to say, I’d reply with Yes, Dear.

“Well, you have Tigger. What about me? Do you know how hard it is to choose between your three favorite cats?” She sighed heavily.

“Fluffer Nutter snuggles up against me at night, and his soft fur lulls me to sleep. And then Tum Tum has that adorable belly and is just so feisty. How could I possibly get rid of him? And then there’s Tiny Tum.

Are you really telling me I have to rehome a kitten who is that stinkin’ adorable and loves us so much? ”

“He steps in his own shit!” I reminded her. “He has absolutely no sense of where to step in a litter box. How many times have you given him a bath already?”

I could have sworn I saw her chin wobble, and that was it for me. Even Eli knew it. I heard his mocking laughter from behind me as I slid my hand over Tigger’s soft fur. Fuck, I was so screwed .

“So, I should get rid of Tiny Tum because he hasn’t quite figured out the litter box?”

I sighed heavily. There was no winning this conversation. Daphne knew it. Eli knew it. Hell, even Tigger was laughing at me. I could see it in his eyes.

“No, sweetie. You shouldn’t.”

Her face brightened immediately. “That’s all I’m saying. I’ll see you soon!”

She spun away and reached the end of the driveway just as Harper pulled up, giving us a jaunty wave.

“You know, I take back everything I said about my demon cat. I only have one, but you have a whole house of them and a wife who will no doubt make your life a living hell by bringing home more cats for the rest of your life.

My eyes slanted in his direction in the most lethal glare I could muster. “That’s never going to happen. I’ve made it perfectly clear that there will be no more cats.”

“Uh-huh,” he grinned. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“Yes!” I shouted, cheering on the game as Harper pulled up outside.

Fuck, this was bad. Only one inning left, and the girls chose now to come home.

There would be all kinds of raucous laughter, talking about every single detail of the trip as if they both weren’t there, and then they would have to tell me every detail.