Page 12 of Burn Bag (Owens Protective Services #31)

DAPHNE

The wedding…

“And do you Bradford William Kavanaugh take…”

The minister looked at me expectantly. “Oh, Daphne Willa Gray.”

I smiled at him, then at my soon-to-be husband, who still looked confused and a little put out. No, this was not what he wanted, but he didn’t say no when I walked down the aisle. He wanted a wife, and I was willing and ready.

“Do you take Daphne Willa Gray to be your lawfully wedded wife…”

The minister droned on while I took another peek at my betrothed.

He was so freaking handsome. I couldn’t believe that Emily had backed out of this.

Nor could I believe that a man like this needed help finding a wife.

And suddenly, all the air seemed to be sucked from my lungs as I realized that a man that was this good-looking had to have something wrong with him.

My mind whirled as I thought up every possibility.

Troll breath .

Abnormally large feet? I glanced down and shook my head. They seemed to be normal.

Oh God. What if he had a tiny dick?

I blew out a breath and steadied myself. I could deal with that. Yes, it would be unfortunate, but I was getting more out of this than he was. Besides, plenty of women had unsatisfying sex every day. I could learn to get along without the best of the best.

I was nudged and I glanced over at Bradford, wondering what I had missed while I’d been so worried about his flaws. Standing here in front of him, I couldn’t see a damn thing. “Huh?”

He rolled his eyes in irritation as the minister repeated himself. “Do you Daphne Willa Gray take Bradford William Kavanaugh to have and to hold, to?—”

“Oh, definitely,” I interrupted, realizing just a moment too late that my haste to get on with it might be a little offensive to my new husband. Oops.

“By the power vested in me…”

I was already turning to Bradford, a grin on my face as I waited for the kiss that would get this show on the road. I had no idea where we went from here or how he would react when we were out of earshot of others, but hopefully, he wouldn’t be too upset.

“You may kiss the bride.”

He stood there.

I shifted on my feet, leaning forward slightly, wondering if he was going to meet me halfway. Maybe he expected me to go ninety? That was very unlike most men, but then again, we did just meet.

Finally, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to my cheek, giving me the fastest wedding kiss in the history of all wedding kisses. I was pretty sure people in the eighteenth century kissed for longer—and they didn’t even kiss at weddings!

Clearing my throat, I shrugged it off and turned to the silent church. Not a single person clapped or even smiled. Wow, tough crowd.

Finally, one man stood and started clapping, and the devastating smirk on his face said he was mocking us.

Well, that wasn’t the best way to start a marriage.

Bradford took the first step and I followed, smiling to everyone as we passed.

I was pretty sure it made them feel awkward, but we were well past that.

“We need to talk,” Bradford hissed out of the side of his mouth.

“I figured as much.”

As soon as we were outside the church, he gripped my hand and started tugging me along behind him toward a waiting car. It was beautiful, decked out like any other wedding. I just didn’t get it. Why would he marry me if he wasn’t interested? He seemed so set on marrying Emily.

He opened the back door of the car just as two men rushed out of the church, waving him down. “Get in.”

I did as he asked, hopping in and gathering up the beautiful fabric of Emily’s wedding dress. Thankfully, we were about the same size. I wore flats so the dress wasn’t too short, but other than that, it was nearly a perfect fit.

“Go!” Bradford snapped at the driver as he loosened his tie and turned to me. “Who the hell are you?”

“Daphne Gray,” I grinned, holding out my hand to shake his. “At your service.”

“What?”

“Well, you know, here to…be your wife and whatever.”

“And whatever,” he hissed. “Where’s Emily?”

“Oh, she had second thoughts. This isn’t really her thing—being impulsive.”

“But it’s yours?”

I snorted in amusement, considering all the things I’d done over the years. “Uh…yeah, you could say that.”

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered, glaring out the window. “How do you know Emily?”

“We’re roommates. Well, sort of.”

“How are you sort of roommates?”

“I was between jobs and sleeping on her couch.”

He grunted, turning back to me. “And what do you do? ”

“Um…” I fidgeted, wanting to make a good first impression on him. “I work with animals.”

He seemed surprised by that and not altogether upset. “Well…that’s admirable.”

“Emily said you’re in security?”

He grunted in response and shoved his fingers through his hair. I watched his muscles ripple under his shirt, showing off every inch of his beautiful body. I couldn’t wait to see what was underneath.

“So…what made you decide to do this?”

“Oh, you know,” I chuckled. “Change of scenery.”

“Ever been married before?”

I shook my head, but the look of confusion only grew on his face.

“I just don’t understand why you would do this.”

“Well, have you seen yourself? I’m not sure why you would do this either, but here we are. Married. By the way, don’t we need a marriage license or something?”

“I’ll take care of it,” he mumbled to himself.

“So, what do we do now?”

“Reception. How the hell am I going to explain this to my mother?”

“Oh, leave it to me. I’m great with mothers.”

“You don’t know mine.”

“True.”

His gaze snapped to mine and he frowned. “What about your parents?”

My parents? Hmm, that was an interesting one. “Oh, they’re like me—fly by the seat of their pants. They’re probably in Bora Bora or something.”

“They didn’t care that you were getting married?”

“Like I said, they’re like me.” I tapped my finger on the windowsill, wondering how this was going to work. We didn’t know each other at all. “So, should I just go back to my hotel tonight?”

“Why would you do that?”

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe you don’t want me in the same house as you. ”

“No,” he sighed. “If we’re going to do this, you might as well come home with me.”

Well, that was a ringing endorsement. Would he say that to me in bed also? We’re married. We might as well have sex .

Now I understood the small dick thing a little more. It was a shame, I wasn’t going to lie. I always hoped I’d find a man who could move mountains, but I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

“We’re here,” he snapped, flinging open his door.

I shuffled across the seat and stared curiously at the building in front of me as I got out. This was a fancy place, probably filled with posh people who spoke with British accents. I didn’t really think I’d fit in here, but he’d already married me, so he was stuck with me.

Leading me inside, I gaped at the beautiful lights that decorated the room and the elegance of the place settings. I felt like I was in some kind of Royal wedding party. All of this was for us?

“This is amazing. You did all this?”

“Well, it was supposed to be my wedding to the woman of my dreams.”

Ouch . Not that I could blame him. He’d expected Emily and ended up with me. Still, I was determined to enjoy this night, even if he wasn’t thrilled I was in Emily’s place. After all, he was offering me protection.

Not that he knew any of that yet.

“Come on,” he muttered, gripping my hand in his.

I gasped at the contact, surprised when a buzzing filled my head and tingled down my spine. The room swayed for a moment as he guided me to our table. I felt like I was floating on air.

“Ever heard of instant attraction?” I asked as he offered me a seat.

“Yes.”

His tone was terse and not at all what I had hoped for, but I had ruined his wedding, so I couldn’t complain too much.

“And?”

He sighed heavily before taking a seat beside me. Other people from the church started to filter in, all of them acting like we were at a funeral instead of a wedding .

“And I’ve been there before. It didn’t work out too well.”

“Ah, so that’s why we’re doing this,” I surmised.

“One of the many reasons,” he grumbled, still not looking at me.

Man, this guy was really upset, and I just hated that I had inadvertently ruined his wedding.

“Look,” I said, taking his hand in mine.

When he finally faced me, I forced a smile on my face, hoping I could do the same to him.

“I know I’m not what you’re looking for, but we’re here, and this is a party.

A very beautiful party. And all your friends are here, and I’m assuming there will be music… ”

He gave a tight nod, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly.

“So, why not make the best of it and enjoy the night? We’ll worry about the rest tomorrow.”

Cute frown lines appeared between his eyes as he considered my words. I thought for sure he was too upset to actually see my side of things, but then an easy smile slid across his face and he nodded.

“Yeah, that sounds like a plan.”

“When in not-Vegas,” I shrugged.

A chuckle left his lips. “When in not-Vegas.”

Soon after, the waiters brought around champagne and I clinked my glass with his, grinning the whole time. “To surprise weddings and marrying strangers.”

“I second that,” he laughed, clinking his glass against mine.

After swallowing the contents of my glass, I shoved my chair back and gripped my dress, pulling it out of the way. “Come on. Let’s go have some fun. It’s a reception, after all.”

I grabbed his hand and tugged him out to the center of the room, but there was no space for dancing. “Hey! Beefcakes!” I shouted at two of his friends. “Help a girl out!”

I had no idea who they were, but they instantly came over and did as I instructed, making room for a dance floor. Music filtered over the system and I cringed at the romantic music that flowed through the room.