Page 32 of Brandishing Balance (Devil’s Psychos MC #3)

Maya

T he next couple days were hard. I got up and helped Luke get ready for school, I made his breakfast and packed up his lunch box, and I walked out with him to the bus stop, but when he was gone, I would go back to my bedroom and cry.

I thought briefly about my job, but didn’t reach out.

Nico said he had spoken to my boss, and I didn’t have to worry about it—so I didn’t.

Nico was a fucking angel though. He gave me space when I asked for it, and cuddled me when I needed him to.

We watched movies and binged TV when I needed to keep my mind off things, and I called my therapist daily.

Jenna called me every morning and evening, being almost as clinging as Nico, in her own big sisterly way.

In the evenings, I ate dinner with Luke and the guys—they rotated who cooked—and then helped Luke with his homework. He told me that he stopped going to football practice and I told him it was ok. He could figure out if it was something he wanted to do again when we both felt better.

I also signed Luke up for counseling. We had gone through a terrible ordeal, and though Luke didn’t know the full extent of what I went through, he still knew I was kidnapped and tortured by their enemy.

Thankfully, Kara mentioned that one of the Ravager Knights old ladies was a therapist, so we were able to get Luke in with her; someone who was familiar with the club life and what had truly happened to me so she could help Luke the best way possible.

After he finished his homework, Luke spent his evenings in my room, watching TV with Nico and me.

Things with Marcos and Jason were strained and distant.

I kept my walls up around them, not sure where we stood, and neither man seemed interested in trying to break though those walls.

They mostly kept to themselves, while staying accessible by always being around.

Once in a while I thought they tried to say something, but when I’d look over at them, they’d close their mouth and look away.

It drove me bat shit crazy… and made me want to keep my distance even more.

I snuggled into Nico’s chest, the movie Luke had picked was still playing, but it was some cartoon that I didn’t really care about.

I was tired and content, and Nico was warm and comfy.

The fact that he had taken to sleeping in my room was not lost on me.

He had started on the floor, but I quickly put an end to that.

Now it didn’t bother me to snuggle him with Luke around.

I would explain to him my situation one day, but for now, Nico was my pillow, and that was that.

There was a knock at the door and I kept my eyes closed as whoever it was walked in. “Hey guys, I brought popcorn.” Marcos’s voice was low.

“Popcorn!” Luke cheered, oblivious to me pretending to sleep on the other side of the massive bed than him.

“Easy, dude. I think mom is sleeping,” Marcos said softly.

“Oh oops.” Luke sounded sheepish, and I almost felt bad, but I wasn’t bothered by it.

“Whatcha watchin?” Marcos asked.

“Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs,” Luke replied.

I listened to them go back and forth a couple more times before the bed dipped at the foot of the mattress, meaning Marcos must have sat down.

Nico hand rubbed circles into my hip and I mumble sleepily about school nights as I nuzzled into Nico’s chest. “He can finish the movie. It’ll be ok,” Nico whispered. He pressed a kiss to my forehead.

I honestly wasn’t worried; I would likely be asleep soon enough as it was.

Sure enough, I must have dozed off because I startled awake to a pitch-black room.

The fan was on, but there was not a light on in sight.

“No. No, no, no!” My heart rate exploded in my chest, as my breathing becomes labored.

Panic claws up my throat, and I thrash about as the sheets become tangled with my legs, tricking my mind into thinking I’m being restrained.

“Maya!” Marcos turned up the lamp on the nightstand, before he grabbed my arms and held me still. Getting in my face, he cupped my jaw and forced me to tilt my head back and look up into his warm chocolate eyes. “Maya, it’s me.” His voice was deep and husky, thick with sleep.

Still in the throes of panic, I gripped his arms painfully, digging my nails into his skin. “Marcos?” I asked, my voice cracking.

“Yeah, Mi Vida. It’s me. I’ve got you. You’re safe,” he said and pulled me into his arms.

The sobs that broke out of me hurt my chest and stomach, as I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his chest. My soul poured out in the sobs that tore out of me, and I clung to him harder.

I hadn’t realized how much I needed him to hold me.

Nico had been great, but my body, my soul was missing Marcos—and Jason—and badly I needed his arms around me.

“I’m so sorry, Maya. I’ve got you, you’re safe now. I promise, I won’t let anything happen to you,” Marcos murmured in my ear.

“What happened?” Nico asked from behind me, somewhere near the door.

“I don’t know. She woke up and started panicking,” Marcos said.

“Did you shut the light off?” Nico asked, his voice getting closer.

“Yeah, shit, I didn’t even think. I’m so sorry Maya,” Marcos said, rubbing my back.

“What’s going on?” Jason’s deep voice sent shivers down my spine.

“I shut the light off to sleep,” Marcos said.

“She’s afraid of the dark now,” Nico added softly.

I shuddered in Marcos arms, hating that they were talking about me like I was a child that need taking care of.

I hated that I was so broken after everything that happened.

Pulling away from Marcos, I took deep breaths as I wiped my eyes.

“Maya?” Nico asked, sliding on to the bed next to us. “How you doing, Little Dreamer?”

I laughed sardonically and shook my head. “Fine.”

“Yeah,” Nico deadpanned.

Looking over at the door, I watch as Jason walked away and frowned.

“Don’t worry about him,” Nico said, trying to cheer me up.

I shake my head, not wanting to hear excuses.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Marcos asked, his voice tentative.

I narrowed my eyes on my lap, wondering if he was being serious. He’d practically avoided all conversation about anything important in the last couple of days. Even in the hospital, Marcos had been present but distant at the same time. Face value only, nothing below the surface.

Granted, in the hospital I had Nico by my side constantly, my mom and Jenna visiting, even fucking Jason read a damn romance novel to me every night. And where was Marcos? Present, but not.

It drove me up the fucking wall and I was about done with it.

“Do you want to hear it?” I shot back, looking up at his handsome face.

His usual trimmed, dark goatee was longer, thicker, and the beard had grown in on his cheeks.

I loved how ruggedly handsome it made him look.

I would have to tell him, so he wouldn’t shave it off.

His eyes flashed to mine. “Of course I do, Mi Vida.”

I shake my head and hang my head. “You say that, but then you avoid me.”

“I’m not avoidi—”

“You’re distant. You’re here, but you aren’t, not really.” I look up and meet his gaze again, his dark eyes are tortured looking—wide and emotional, glassy. “You’ve been here physically, Marcos, but you’re not really here mentally. Why? Where are you?”

He lets out a shuddering breath as a tear slipped down his cheek.

I reached up and slid my hand over his cheek, brushing his tear away with my thumb, as I wait for him to respond.

Marcos’s eyes slid shut. “Mi Vida.” My name leaves his mouth on a whispered breath.

“My life.” I murmured in return.

His eyes snap open, the intensity of his love for me pouring out of them. “I can’t stop thinking of what happened, how I almost lost you. I saw the videos o—”

I jerked away from him abruptly. “What? You saw—how?”

“He filmed you…”

“I know he fucking filmed me,” I snapped. I slid off the side of the mattress and pace around the bed from him, needing some space. I whirled back to face him. “How did you see the videos?”

Marcos stood up slowly, acting as if I’m some cornered animal about to lash out at him. “Axel, our brother from the cl—”

“I know who Axel is!” My heart started pounding in my chest.

Marcos started talking faster, as if realizing I needed the information faster. “He got the link to the dark website that Hillcrest uploaded them to. It was through the videos that we were even able to track you down. Kevin’s brother Jack is some tech guru.”

My heart hammering in my chest, I clenched my fists and tried to steady my breathing. “So you’re telling me, that not only have you watched those videos of me being completely violated, but so has half your club? The Knights as well?” I pant as my breathing grows labored. Panic surges in my veins.

“No, Maya. No.” Marcos shook his head vehemently.

“I promise you, no one else saw them but me and Jason. Jack was able to use them to back door hack into Hillcrest’s system and Axel never looked at it.

I promise you.” He moved closer and my vison blurred around the edges.

“Maya, Mi Vida, please. I need you to breathe. Come on, now.” His hands landed on my shoulders, sliding down to my elbows as he pulled me into his embrace.

I took a gasping breath as a sob tore out of me. Shuddering as deep guttural sobs destroyed me, Marcos wrapped me tightly in his arms. “Let it out, my love.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to my temple. “Get it all out.”

I screamed in rage as I clung to him. The idea of other people watching me be so thoroughly debased and humiliated tore at me.

That the videos were floating somewhere out there on the internet forever.

What if Luke somehow stumbled across those videos when he was older?

My heart broke all over again as I cried.