Page 21 of Brandishing Balance (Devil’s Psychos MC #3)

Maya

S eeing Luke had been more emotional than I expected. The pain in his eyes when I gave him my phone to call Marcos and made him leave without me. I would never forget the look in his eye. The fear.

The heartbreak on his face when he walked in the hospital room and saw me sitting up in bed, eating breakfast, would forever be engrained in my mind.

He rushed toward me; Nico barely moved my food tray out of the way as Luke flung himself into my arms. I didn’t even care that it hurt to hug him, I had my baby boy back safely in my arms, and that was all that mattered.

“Oh, my baby.” I cried and hugged him tight.

Luke sobbed in my arms and refused to leave for the rest of the day.

And I wasn’t making him. Instead, I ate my food with one hand and held him with the other.

We watched movies and hung out with my guys, and when Darla came in that night, she brought with her a package of fresh-baked cookies from the local bakery.

Later that night, Luke was half-asleep lying in bed with me when Marcos told Luke it was time to go. I frowned at Marcos but didn’t say anything. I didn’t like the idea of him leaving though. I didn’t want him so far away.

Luke immediately started protesting. “No! I’m staying with my mom! I’m not leaving!”

“Luke, your mom needs rest, buddy.” Marcos tried to coax him away from me.

Luke started crying as he clung to me. My heart broke into a million pieces. Jason and Nico looked as lost as I felt. Darla must have heard the commotion because she walked in a moment later. “Can I suggest the family bedroom? He can get his rest and so can mom?”

Ever the fucking lifesaver , I thought. I caught Marcos’s eye and shrugged. Marcos nodded slowly, as if admitting defeat. “It’s ok, Luke. I’m ok.” I rubbed my son’s back, speaking softly while trying to sooth him. “There’s a bedroom here, you can stay in the suite with Dad.”

“I can?” Luke’s head shot off my shoulder to look back at his father.

“Yeah, buddy. We can stay. But you need your rest, and so does mom,” Marcos said.

Luke looked back at me and I gave him a warm smile. “You need to sleep,” I said.

“Alright,” he reluctantly agreed.

Once he was in the bedroom suite and Marcos closed the door behind them, I let the first tears fall.

“Oh, Little Dreamer.” Nico sighed and sat on the edge of the bed next to me, pulling me into his arms.

I silently let the tears fall down my face, sniffling here there into the tissue that Jason handed me.

“It’s ok to let go,” Nico said.

I shook my head. I couldn’t do that yet. Just like I couldn’t dwell too much on what had happened during my week with Hillcrest. I couldn’t think about it yet. I wanted to be physically strong again before I let emotions weigh me down.

It was only a matter of time before my emotions got the better of me and completely crashed around me, but I wasn’t ready for that yet.

“Maya.” Nico breathed my name like he was disappointed in me.

I vehemently shook my head. “No.”

“Leave her alone,” Jason snapped at Nico.

Nico huffed and slid off the mattress and returned to his recliner. I had quickly discovered since waking that morning that the recliner was his and no one else was allowed to sit in it.

Jason shook his head and grabbed my hand, wrapping his fingers through mine. I squeezed his hand appreciatively. I didn’t want to be coddled right now and was grateful that coddling was never Jason’s default.

Needing to change the subject, I turned to Jason. “What did you get up to this week?”

“You mean, when I wasn’t by your side every hour of the day?” Jason shot back, immediately rising to my bait.

I smirked. “You weren’t.”

He rolled his eyes. “I was organizing shit at the house. Contractors and all that.”

My eyebrows furrowed together. “House?”

Nico shifted in the recliner next to me but didn’t say a word.

Jason shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah, I bought a house. I’m remodeling it right now. New carpet upstairs, redoing the hardwoods downstairs.”

I nodded absently, wondering if there was something I was missing. I didn’t remember him saying he bought a house, but it wasn’t like we were talking much until the night before my capture. And we definitely weren’t talking mundane shit like house renovations. No, we were calling a truce.

A truce that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, not when things like life and death were involved.

I was glad that he wasn’t angry with me anymore, though.

Being able to hold his hand, or listen to him read my romance novels, was something I was thoroughly enjoying.

It would be better if I could shower and change into comfy jammies, but Griff wanted me to stay in bed as much as possible.

When the day nurse had taken out my catheter and I’d hobbled into the bathroom, I found I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror.

So I avoided looking at it. I probably looked atrocious, but it didn’t matter.

Peeing had burned, but that was probably from the catheter being removed versus any kind of infection, because they still had me on IV antibiotics.

But being wide awake like I was now, I found that bed rest was getting old.

My body was healing slowly. The sepsis had taken most of my energy and strength, as had not moving for days after a week of abuse. I wasn’t thinking about that, though. I needed to think about something else, so I dove into the reno project with Jason. “What kind of carpet?” I asked.

“Plush, extra padding underneath.” He answered me immediately, a slightly smirk tugging at his lips like he was sharing a secret with me.

I nodded, finding his answer acceptable. “And what color on the hardwood?”

“Dark stain.”

It sounded like something I would choose for my own house. I hated that I was jealous that he was putting everything I wanted into his home. I really didn’t know what else to ask after that, and Nico had shut down completely when Jason snapped at him, which wasn’t like him at all.

Looking over at Nico, I found him watching the TV silently, ignoring Jason completely, which was also unlike him. It made me wonder just what the hell was going on with the two of them, but I also didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to deal with anything heavy or emotional right now.

All I wanted was to recover and go home. I wanted my own bed, my own shower, and my own damn food. Darla was nice and all, but I really wanted to be left the fuck alone for a while, and Nico had made it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere.

The idea of Jason buying a house made me wonder about too many things. Like, did he buy the house alone, or with Marcos and Nico? Did he buy before or after Marcos decided he needed a paternity test court ordered? Was Marcos planning to take Lucas from me? Was that why they bought the house?

“Maya,” Nico’s voice broke through my twisting thoughts. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” I asked almost petulantly.

“Let the darkness consume you.” He squeezed my knee reassuringly.

That was easier said than done , I thought.