Page 19

Chapter 18

Where are you registered?

Big Al

G oing on thirty-six hours awake at this point. Fatigue came and went about twelve hours ago. My second and third winds blew by five hours later. And the brief nap I had with Maddie quite possibly propelled my sour mood into rancid territory.

I stare at the coffee maker, bracing myself with a harsh grip on the counter.

“Can I stay here this evening?” Maddie’s timid voice surprises me almost as much as her question. “I’d prefer not to sit around Redleg until the wee hours for the second night in a row.”

With my teeth grinding, I roll my neck to get the kinks out. A pointless endeavor since her simple question sends me right back into high-stress territory.

Once upon a time, I left someone I loved behind when they were vulnerable. I refuse to ever fucking do it again.

“Maddie, I need to keep you safe. I can’t do that if you aren’t with me.”

She tosses a dish towel on my kitchen counter and spins to face me. “I won’t leave the house.”

My eyes bulge. “You were fucking shot last night. Have you forgotten that?”

Gesturing to the bandages on her upper arm and shoulder sling, she rolls her eyes. “Oh, I’m well aware.”

Shot because of me.

Add that to the guilt sandwich I’ll be gnawing on until the end of time.

I stride to her, settling my hands on her hips. The delicious aroma of brewing coffee perks me up a bit more with each step.

Coffee at 1700? Only on a day like this.

Lowering my face to hers, I keep my voice soft and sincere. “Maddie baby, please . For one more day, can you humor me?”

“If you don’t want me to stay here, then drop me off with the kids. Leo and Sawyer will protect me.”

I attempted to be productive at Redleg this afternoon. When I started resembling a zombie, Mia and Klein banished us from the lair, demanding we get some sleep while they started strategizing.

Rather than being pissed at them for trying to pull rank on me, I was secretly grateful. Last night’s fucktastrophe and this morning’s fuckery have taken their toll on me. Maddie too.

Sawyer and Sammy opened their house so we could all stay together for safety. Leo and Sue went with them. However, Maddie insisted I sleep in my own bed and wash in my own shower, blah, blah, blah. Always putting herself last and endlessly concerned for everyone else.

I agreed on the condition she came with me.

Now, it’s time for me to return to HQ to brainstorm with the intel team about how we’re going to take Lenkov down.

And she wants me to go to work without her. Even if it’s only for a few hours, I don’t like it. Logically, I know she’d be safe at Sawyer’s house. Will someone tell that to my fucking gut?

But this is more than concern for her safety. I need her with me. My world has been rocked. Maddie grounds me. Keeps me sane.

All I can do is try to reason with her. “Leo won’t be there. He’s going to HQ with me, so Josh and Scotty are en route to Sawyer’s place. They’ll be guarding your daughters for the evening while Sawyer rests.”

“Great. So I can stay with them.” She tilts her head to one side, hitting me with an uncharacteristic pout. “I should be with my girls to keep them calm. Are you going to deny all three of us during such a stressful time? Six of us, counting the babies growing inside Sammy and Sue.”

I pulse my hands around her waist. “That’s unfair manipulation.”

Her chin lowers to her chest, and she deepens her voice to impersonate me. “I never said I play fair.”

An unexpected laugh erupts from me, shaking my shoulders. Despite the intense drama of the last twenty-four hours, I’m happy to simply exist in her orbit.

“Throwing my words back at me, Maddie? Really?”

“At least you smiled.” She winks, rising to her tiptoes to place a chaste kiss on my lips. “May I please skip out on another all-nighter at Redleg? I’m tired, sore, and just want to watch trashy TV with the girls.” Batting her eyelashes at me, she goes in for the kill. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Oh, how do you propose to do that?”

Was my word choice intentional? Yes. It fucking was.

I’ll never stop reminding her that the offer is there. After coming so close to losing her last night, my desire for a more defined future has intensified.

With her good arm, she reaches behind me and squeezes my ass. “I’ll think of something.”

More eyelash batting. My resolve is weakening.

I want to make her happy. Always.

But I also need her with me. Having her out of my sight right now is like a dagger to the chest.

“Hold on.” Huffing like the Big Bad Wolf, I release her to look for my tablet. “Give me a damn second to see who else I can send to protect you.”

“Excuse me? My pregnant daughters only needed three guards—counting Sawyer—but if I go over there, you need to send more? If there’s additional protection available, they deserve it more than me in the first place. Adding me changes nothing.”

“Not answering that.”

Maddie was fucking shot last night.

Her. Not them.

She was targeted because of her proximity to me. Sure, Sammy and Sue are also at risk, but Maddie’s already in Lenkov’s sights. And her level of dismissal of it is becoming alarming.

The screen lights up as my fingers fly across the tempered glass. Once I find a few potential guards, I send them messages to see if they’re available. Given the threat level, I don’t want to pull anyone with a family tonight. Yet I refuse to let Maddie out of my sight without more protection.

She’s my only weakness, and Lenkov must know it, which is why he sent his hit man after me on a night I was with her.

Well... I suppose she was my only weakness. Now, I have another woman who’s vulnerable because of her affiliation with me.

A daughter.

After what Lettie’s been through, she already...

Oh shit.

Shit, shit, fucking shit.

That’s why they took her. Because she’s my daughter.

My stomach drops, a weighted medicine ball slamming into my gut. The force is so jarring I need to return my hands to the counter just to keep myself upright.

Lettie was kidnapped because of me. Assaulted. Beaten.

And worse.

Payback by Lenkov. Because of me.

Does she know it’s my fault? How could I ever make up for something like this?

I already missed the first twenty-five years of her life. We’ll never get those years back. Memories and moments that should have been will never be.

As if that’s not enough, I’m also responsible for the immeasurable suffering she endured at the hands of my enemy.

While none of this was intentional on my part, it all happened.

The tragedy with Daniel wasn’t intentional either.

Nonetheless, these atrocities can’t be reversed.

Maddie’s warm palm rubs small circles on my back. “Alan? Are you all right?”

Blinking free of the oppressive guilt and the realization that not one but two women have suffered because of me, I snap at her. “If they can’t cover you, you’re coming with me. End of discussion.”

In my periphery, I see her flinch at my cutting tone and raised volume. Her hand falls away, and she retreats a few steps.

Fucking shit.

“Maddie, I’m sorry. But I can’t?—”

Using her good arm, she holds her palm out in a placating gesture. “It’s fine. I’ll get my purse. Call off the guards. I’ll join you.”

Her soft footsteps grow fainter as she leaves the kitchen. And I’m left alone, pondering why she downshifted so quickly.

By the time she returns with her purse slung over her good shoulder, I see the answer clear as day. The truth was never hidden. I just didn’t want to see it.

I scared her.

For a long time, I’ve suspected she doesn’t want to commit to me because she’s waiting for the moment I’ll become like her husband.

In a single moment of weakness and frustration, I might have set us back sixteen years.

Fuck.

Lionheart and I stride out of my office, leaving Maddie reading on the sofa. She’s barely spoken to me since we left my house.

There’s also unusual awkwardness between Leo and me because we haven’t discussed my secret relationship with his mother. Not as much tension as I expected from him, which is probably because he’s good at compartmentalizing. He’s a lot like me that way.

I’ll have to fix things with him later. Fires are cropping up all over, but I only have so much water in the tank. My priority is the physical safety of my family. All of them. That includes Maddie and my Redleg family. Plus, my newest family member.

My daughter.

Everything else has to wait, sadly.

Lionheart points his chin down the hall toward the lair. “You need to punch something before we go in there?”

I chuckle morosely. “Nah. I’m fine.”

He knows I’m full of shit.

The brief nap I had this afternoon didn’t do much to stop the bleeding from Tomer’s knife in my back. There’s no time to deal with that either. I’ll need to shove it aside and trust him, as if there isn’t a chasm between us.

“Well, you give me the signal if that changes, Boss.”

With a rapidly arching brow, I crane my neck to peer up at him and halt our trek to the lair. “Are you attempting to manage me?”

“What was it you taught me?” He scratches his beard, pretending to be deep in thought. “The key to leading through crisis isn’t fixing everything at once. That’s how you fail. Instead, stop things from getting worse. You have to contain the bullshit before you can clean it up, right?”

“That’s not what I meant by?—”

“The way I see it, you and Tomer are in the middle of a big fucking crisis. It’s my job to stop it from spiraling into a catastrophe. I’ll contain the bullshit so it doesn’t spread. We can clean it up later. If that means I need to remove you from the room, I’ll do it. Or at least make an excuse so you can save face. But we need Tomer if we’re gonna take down Lenkov. Therefore, I refuse to let you get into it with him. That won’t end well. Either he’ll quit, or you’ll fire him. Both of those outcomes are unacceptable. So you give me the signal, and I’ll get you some air. Got it?”

I chew on the inside of my lip, processing his words. “I may have taught you a little too well.”

He dusts off imaginary lint from his shoulder, not bothering to hide his cocky grin.

Rolling my eyes, I grumble, “Let’s fucking get this over with.”

We enter the lair, and my gaze finds Mia first. The one who led the charge to banish me earlier, taking her life in her hands. “Okay, my mandatory rest period is over. What do you have for me?”

Klein pushes away from his desk. “Hey, Boss. Jumping right in, I see.” He bustles toward the whiteboard covering the big wall.

“Well, I didn’t come here for tea and scones,” I toss flippantly.

Tomer approaches me cautiously, slinking between me and the others. Leo clears his throat in a wordless reminder to be on my best behavior.

“How’s Madeline?” Tomer asks, his tentative gaze pinging from me to the big guy behind me.

“She’s in my office,” I answer curtly, attempting to brush past him toward the board where Klein’s waiting to read me in on whatever they’ve laid out thus far.

Far kinder than me, Leo adds, “Mom’s doing okay for now, Tomer. Thanks for asking. How’s Lettie?”

Fuck . I should have asked that.

My feet stutter to a stop, and I wipe the hostility off my face as I look to him for a response.

Tomer steps to the side, blocking me in place and letting Leo advance toward the others. “Actually, I need to talk to you about her, Boss. Can I have a quick word?”

Again, Leo clears his throat pointedly. This time, I glare at him, refusing to blink until he subtly raises his hands in surrender.

“We need a minute, team,” I announce, turning on my heel.

Once we’re in the hall, Tomer quickly gets to it, saving us from dealing with each other any longer than necessary. “Lettie’s moving in with me. Permanently.”

Damn . She sure as fuck forgave him faster than I will.

My reply has zero enthusiasm. Only sarcasm. “Congratulations. Where are you registered? Crate & Barrel? Williams Sonoma?”

Confused, he licks his lips nervously and stammers, “Well-I-sh-we-she.” He shakes his head and restarts his verbal engine. “By moving out of the women’s shelter, she won’t have their around-the-clock security. Considering the Lenkov threat and how she’s uncomfortable being alone, I planned to bring her here when I’m working. She won’t be a distraction from my duties. I just can’t leave her alone. I won’t.”

Ah . Now I see why this is relevant to me.

“That’s fine. I’d much prefer she stays here than at your place when you’re not there anyhow. One less post we need to man. I told Peggy to convert some of the empty offices downstairs into temporary bunk rooms. So we’ll have room here at HQ.”

“The thing is...”

“Spit it out, T.”

“She doesn’t want you to think she’s coming here as a ploy to get your attention. It has nothing to do with that.”

My eye twitches. “Nothing to do with me , you mean?”

He sighs, shoulders hunching slightly. “I’m guessing that came out wrong. I’m sorry. Yeah. Nothing to do with you. She’d just be here for safety. Assuming you’re okay with it.”

Where’s Leo? I could really use an excuse to walk away right now.

“Fine,” I husk out, then stomp past him.

My daughter has nothing to do with me.

Have truer words been spoken today? Doubtful.

My eyes land on the whiteboard when I re-enter the lair, ready to get this shit show on the road. “All right, team. Talk to me. How are we going to take down the Lenkov Bratva?”

There are seven columns scrawled on the board. Five headings are written in one person’s handwriting, and two additional headings are in what I recognize as Tomer’s chicken scratch. On a cursory scan, it seems these are the main categories of crimes committed by the bratva.

While they provide a basic rundown, I mentally assign staff to various tasks based on their skill sets.

As expected, the majority of the information is under the Human Trafficking column. Given Mia’s past fighting traffickers and Lett— my daughter’s —recent victimization, I’d imagine they’re chomping at the bit to tackle that arm of the bratva.

The Cyber Crimes heading also has a lot of shit under it. For obvious reasons, I’ll assign the intel team to run point on those tasks.

“I don’t see anything under Law Enforcement ,” Leo states, pointing his pen at the far side of the whiteboard. “What’s that column for?”

Klein answers on behalf of the intel trio. “We need to partner with them more closely than usual in order to get convictions that’ll stick. Our initial thoughts are to use the standing info exchange with CPD as a starting point, then loop in the FBI Trafficking Task Force via Mia’s connections. Additionally, we put it on the board so we don’t leave them too far behind. They move slower than us, and if we don’t see it up there every damn day, we’re likely to plow on.”

My fingers tap across my Redleg tablet, typing out an action list for Peggy to carry out tomorrow morning. She’s got a lot of fucking meetings to schedule, for starters. “I’ll talk to the chief and the sheriff first, and we’ll go from there. I’ll also call the mayor’s office to start working up the political chain. Never know when we might need some pressure applied.”

Klein uncaps a marker and scribbles a recap on the board. “Sounds good, Boss.”

Mia clicks her tongue, her mouth bunching to one side. “Hate to throw this out there, but we probably need to be cautious around law enforcement. We don’t know who to trust.”

Solemn nods of agreement all around.

Tomer adjusts in his chair, causing a grating creak to reverberate around the room. It’s irritating. Not only the sound, but also having to work with him right now.

He raises his hand like he’s in fucking grade school. “I’ll take point with Detectives Salgado and Patterson. I’ve already been working with them on some of this.”

My hackles rise, and I react with a glower and cutting tone. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Under the table, Leo bumps his leg against mine. Intentionally .

Clearly, his gut didn’t just fire like mine did. Tomer’s definitely doing something he shouldn’t be. And I’d bet money he has some personal war going against the men who hurt Lettie.

And I get it.

However, he better not fuck up the relationship I’ve been cultivating with law enforcement. We need them on our side now more than ever to make this work. If he’s hell-bent on vengeance, he’s more prone than usual to say something he shouldn’t. Or take risks that’ll raise red flags. And our partnership will be fucked.

Tomer’s gaze falls to the table, shielding his eyes from me. “Just that I’ve been giving them information Lettie has shared about her time in the prep house. And as you know, they’ve already made several arrests based on what Mia and I have fed them.”

I roll my tongue over my teeth, attempting to quash my knee-jerk reaction. Maybe the gut is off, and it’s the nagging knife in my back bothering me instead.

Then again... the way he won’t look at me doesn’t sit well. He knows I can’t sense his intentions as well if he doesn’t meet my stare.

And that’s a bad sign. He’s hiding something.

Decision made, I bark out, “Nope. I don’t want you on that.”

My gaze shifts to Klein. “You’re taking over as the primary point for the detectives until further notice.”

Klein’s face goes slack, and his eyes dart around aimlessly. He doesn’t respond. And in my peripheral, I see why. He’s looking at his butt-hurt teammate to see how he’ll react.

Tomer’s eyes burn into the side of my cheek.

“You’re too emotionally involved to speak for Redleg right now. Let Klein take it.” I flick my wrist dismissively between the two of them. “He’ll keep you informed.”

Giving them no chance to object, I continue firing assignments. “Mia, feel out your contacts at the bureau to see how receptive they are to contracted help from us. Tread carefully on how much you divulge about our plans until you know whether they’re open to it. Last thing we need is them throwing roadblocks at us before we even get out of the gate.”

She worries her lips to one side. “Should I mention Lenkov specifically or keep it more general?”

“What’s your gut say?”

Her face morphs into a sly grin. “They’ll be more receptive if they know we’re gunning for the family they’ve been trying to take down for decades.”

I nod. “Agree. Do it.”

For the next half hour, we divvy the remaining categories until all the adrenaline and irritation no longer keep me focused. I need some fucking sleep before I collapse. I’m getting too damn old for this shit.

Shep’s gonna need to visit his long-time informant, local shitbag Yuri Zaytsev. That’ll go over like a lead shit balloon.

Lionheart will assemble a small team focusing on Lenkov’s drug and gun trafficking activities.

Aside from the law enforcement and political shit, I’ll be point for our WITSEC contact and diving into Lenkov’s financial dealings with Mia assisting me from a tech standpoint.

We’ve done everything we can for tonight. From here, we just need to dig in. The faster, the better because we’re about to start hemorrhaging money. I’ll need to work on my LEO contacts to expand some of our paid contract agreements. Money doesn’t grow on palm trees.

In addition to placing a moratorium on new clients, I’ll complete a risk assessment of our current cases. There’s a chance we’ll need to step back from some of them, which could mean we’d lose their business forever. Fortunately, we have a large number of home security clients who only require our remote monitoring services and in-home tech. They should be safe from Lenkov’s reach, assuming we keep our servers tight so their information doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.

After putting my tablet in sleep mode, I slap my palm on the table. “Well, kids. That’s it. I’m calling it for tonight. For those of you not staying at HQ, follow procedures without exception. Continue check-ins and all that shit.”

Klein’s the first to jump up, likely in a hurry to get home to his elderly mother. Mia’s on his heels.

Tomer hasn’t spoken since I denied his suggestion. Not even in response to Leo’s pleasantries as we exit the lair.

I hate how quickly my resentment of him is festering.

I’m usually better at boxing my feelings. Not this time.

Tomer’s betrayal is too significant to set aside. And it’s a fresh, deep-as-hell wound.

Despite priding myself in reading people, I really missed the fucking boat with him. There’s only been one other person who duped me. And my brother paid the price.

Maybe once I’ve had more sleep, I can unass this shit. But I won’t hold my breath. This is more than some rack time can fix.