Page 9 of Before We’re More Than Friends (When We Faced the Music #1)
I let out a sigh of relief, putting a hand to my chest to stop my heart from launching out of my body.
A wave of guilt washed over me, knowing I shouldn’t have pushed her away like that.
But the part of me that wanted to hold onto something, anything, from my old life didn’t want to be sensible.
I sent a final message before putting my laptop in its case.
Alex
Sorry. Good night
I threw my head onto the pillow, shaking the bed frame. “ That was way too close,” I said out loud, unable to keep quiet any longer.
Kami, sitting on the queen bed next to mine, looked up from her phone. “You were typing up a storm there.”
“For a very good reason.” I put my pillow over my head, tempted to scream into it like when I was little and didn’t know what to do with my emotions.
Kami got off her bed and sat on mine. “It’ll be all right.
” She took off the pillow and rubbed my head.
Though she was only a year older, she was like a second mother to me with her caring nature.
She didn’t need to know what was wrong to comfort me, never asking when she knew I wouldn’t want to answer. She was just there for me.
“I don’t know,” I said, still inwardly kicking myself.
“It will. Just think about all the great things ahead of us. Mom has a new job at a cool place, and we get to work with a bunch of new, loving animals. And people.” Her voice piped up. “It’s going to be so much fun.”
I sat up, my mouth hanging open at her optimism. “And Dallas wasn’t fun?” I blinked. “You were so upset about leaving when Mom first announced it.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. And, yes, I was upset, but that’s because the news was fresh. It was three and a half weeks ago, Dallas. Feelings can change.”
Something in my chest tightened. “You changed your feelings about leaving your forever home that quickly?”
Kami crossed her arms over her chest. “We already talked about this, Dallas.” Her tone went from bubbly to sharp.
Guilt twisted in my chest again. “I’m sorry.”
Kami’s boyfriend, Greg, had dumped her when she told him we were moving the Saturday night after Mom’s announcement.
I knew there was more to that than what she was letting on, but I wasn’t going to budge.
Kami kept her business private, and she did it well.
But I’d never liked Greg in the first place and was a little bit relieved that Kami no longer had to deal with his bullcrap.
“It’s . . . it’s fine. It happened for the better.” She sighed, her eyes no longer meeting mine. “You have to look at what’s ahead of you and not live in the past.”
“Doesn’t anxiety stem from living in the future?”
Her sigh this time was a grunt. “Dallas.”
“Sorry.” I shifted on the bed. “I’m happy for Mom, and I want you both to have new opportunities for better things. But I don’t want to meet new people and volunteer at a new place. I just want you to understand.”
“I do understand. But you don’t understand me.”
“I do.” I was trying to, but it was hard with the different emotions I’d been battling.
I’d also never been in a breakup—unless dumping Darla Stratton in fifth grade for being dared to kiss me counted as one.
I didn’t know how the change felt. And with the cold way Kami had been acting, I didn’t want to know.
Kami shook her head before going back to her bed. “Good night, Dallas.”
So this conversation was going to end that way too? I really was bad with girls. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” She turned off her lamp before wrapping herself in the sheets.
I turned off my lamp, grabbed my earbuds, and turned on my “I miss Dallas and want to drown in my tears” playlist. Very dramatic name, but I blamed Chloe for getting me into making moody playlists like that.
My stomach knotted as I thought about our conversation. I longed to go back and change my response. I’d always told Chloe to fight against her fears no matter how strong they were in her mind, yet I couldn’t even do the same.
Because I knew I loved her more than I should. And if anything ruined our relationship, it would ruin what was left of the life I used to love.
Tears spilled down my cheeks as I lay in my bed, hoping my favorite ballads would help me relax. They didn’t. I couldn’t fall asleep until three in the morning.
Entering our new house felt like entering heaven. Not because it was that stunning, but because the road trip from hell was finally over.
“Oh my gosh, there’s so much room in here!
” Kami spun around the living room, taking in the white and beige everywhere.
Yeah, it was a little bigger than our home in Dallas, but that didn’t mean I wanted to take it all in.
I just wanted somewhere to stretch and wake up my butt, which had gone numb hours ago.
“As soon as we put in our furniture, it’ll feel like home already. ”
“It will.” Mom smiled at me. “What do you think?”
I shrugged. “It’s cool.”
Mom had shown us pictures of it a few weeks ago, but it just looked like any two-story house.
The only significant difference was that the master bedroom was downstairs and that there was an extra bedroom upstairs.
The bedrooms were smaller than the ones at home because of the floor plan, which meant I might have to get rid of a few things. As if I hadn’t lost enough.
“Are you ready for a tour?” Mom asked, still smiling as she looked around. “Your dad and I are in love.”
Dad nodded with a small smile, seeming a little happier than I’d seen him in a while. Maybe it was forced, or maybe it was really genuine. “We are.”
Mom started the tour before I could even answer.
The half-bathroom was on the right when we came in instead of the left like the one in our old house.
The dining room was on the left, and it led into the kitchen, which led into the den.
The entryway led to the living room, which shared a wall with the master bedroom.
Every room had peach walls, brown tile, and white ceilings.
There wasn’t a single spot of dust in sight.
The only imperfection was an extra paint splash that got on the den’s ceiling in one of the corners.
The stairs were in the living room, leading to the small second floor. The floor was wood instead of tile, but the walls and ceilings were the same color.
“You guys get to pick your rooms,” Mom said. “Pick the ones in the front since the one on the side is too small.”
“I’ll pick the one on the left,” Kami said before opening the door. “I think this one is bigger.”
“Guess I get the one on the right,” I said.
While my parents followed Kami into her room, I went into mine.
It wasn’t as small as I thought it was from the pictures, but there was still a difference.
My room in Dallas was at the back of the house and had two small windows instead of one big one.
The walls in here were blue instead of the peach brown the rest of the rooms were.
There was nothing in here but the clean wood floor.
No cracks in the ceiling or holes in the wall. Not even dust on the fan.
I hated it.
“The moving truck is here,” I heard Mom say from the other side of the wall. Gosh, I really hoped Kami and I wouldn’t be able to hear each movement we made like we lived in a cheap apartment complex.
Houston ran into my room, sniffed around, and sat down at my leg. I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m sitting here for now.
I leaned down to pet him. “I know, boy, it’s nothing like home. ”
I spent the next few minutes staring out my window, watching my parents talk to the moving guys bringing things in. A black couple from next door joined them, starting an engaging conversation. I smiled, happy that there were already nice people here.
Tired of being in the house, I opened my suitcase and pulled out a spare leash. “Come on, boy, we’re going for a walk.”
Houston wagged his tail, and after I put his leash on, we went outside, out in the part of the world we now lived in that was April Springs, Nevada.
A breeze blew by, cooling off the heat on my face. As I walked with Houston, I couldn’t help but notice the changes all around me. Slightly bigger houses with a suburban style. Different sounds of traffic. Different smell in the breeze. Nothing was the same.
After a few minutes, I gave up and headed back home. Well, our new house .
This would never be home.