Page 36 of Before We’re More Than Friends (When We Faced the Music #1)

I gasped even louder than before, causing Houston to perk up from where he sat on the floor. “What?” Blood pounded in my ears. “Someone else’s . . .”

“ Panties ,” she finished, knowing I hated the word. “Red with lace and way too small for anyone else in his family. He tried to pin it on his brother’s girlfriend, but she’d been out of town since December.”

“Why are you just telling me this?” I shot up from my chair, clenching my fists. “I could’ve beat his ass until he couldn’t sit!” I used to tell Greg that if he ever hurt Kami, I’d beat him with every muscle in my body. He’d laugh it off and punch me in the arm like it was a joke.

It’d certainly been a joke to him.

“I was embarrassed!” Kami exclaimed, putting her head in her hands.

“I told myself no guy would ever do that to me. And to make it even worse, so many people knew about him cheating and never told me. Including my friends. He cheated on me with four different girls in the span of three months. And I don’t even know why.

” She sniffled again before tears streamed down her cheeks. “I feel so stupid.”

“Kami.” I walked over to her and put my hand on her back, my chest aching. “I understand that you’re embarrassed, but I wish you had told me so I could’ve been there for you.” I gave her a side hug as she wiped her tears away. “And I really could’ve beaten Greg up.”

She let out a half-giggle. “I didn’t want you to judge me.”

“He was your boyfriend, Kami. He was supposed to love you the way you loved him.” I wiped another tear from her cheek. “Please don’t blame yourself.”

“I still will.” She wiped her nose with her napkin. “Something much worse could’ve happened. Like the suggestions you gave.”

“I was surprised,” I said. “Because I was concerned about you.”

She nodded, rubbing my arm. “I’m concerned about you, too. I know you’re lying about Raina.”

“Gosh, we’re already moving on to that?”

Her eyebrows lifted. “I already said my truth.”

I sighed. “Maybe I do like her. But I’m not about to enter the dating scene.”

“You for sure don’t want to end up like me,” she muttered.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that!” I groaned. “It’s complicated. But I promise that we’re just friends, and that is all it will be.” I looked at my wrist, thinking about how long it’d been since I’d worn my friendship bracelet. “She’d never feel the same way about me.”

“Why do you think that? ”

“I don’t know,” I said, sitting down again.

“We haven’t known each other for that long.

She’s beautiful and rich and down to earth.

She’d be better off with someone else.” Someone who didn’t keep a landfill of secrets from her and would rather live with a guilty conscience than ever confess the truth.

“Why wouldn’t you be good enough for her?”

“Because.” I stared at my cold plate of pasta. “I would make a better friend. She already thinks I’m weird—everyone does. There are better options.”

“That doesn’t mean those are the options she’d want.”

“I don’t want to date her, okay?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “It wouldn’t be worth the risk.”

“I understand. That’s how I feel about dating right now.” Kami reached for my hand and squeezed it. “I’m here for you too, okay?”

I smiled, my chest warming. “Thank you.”

For the first time since the move was announced, I didn’t feel like I was walking on eggshells around her anymore. Things weren’t perfect between us, but we were closer than we’d been in a long time.

And I’d protect her with everything I had.

Wednesday after volunteering at the shelter, Hayden and I went to What Do You Bean to work on our personal songwriting. Somewhere in the Sky wasn’t performing today, but the café still had the same atmosphere as before. The aroma of coffee and pastries filled the air, triggering my sweet tooth.

Hayden got us milkshakes and cookies, and we got to work. He opened his notebook, which had way more pages filled than last time. He put on a timer for fifteen minutes, and we both focused on our notebooks and wrote. Like before, I dumped whatever was on my mind.

“How did it go?” Hayden asked me after the timer went off. “Have you come up with anything you like?”

“Surprisingly, yes.” I bit my lip as I stared at my notebook. So many of these lyrics were about Raina. There was no way I could ever use them for anything. “I-I don’t think I can share them, though. They’re personal.”

Hayden nodded, a thoughtful look in his eyes. “Mine too.” He sighed, tossing his braids back. “Do you . . . do you ever think about your relationships and wish you could go back and fix something?”

I raised an eyebrow at him, not sure how I wanted to answer it.

“Sorry, it’s just . . .” He dug his teeth into his lip. “Can I tell you something?”

I nodded.

“You know when we were talking about our exes and stuff one day?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I used to date Arielle.” He tapped his pen against his notebook. “But it was an accident.”

“An accident?” I racked my brain for how Hayden and Arielle had started dating in the first place, but nothing came to mind. How did you accidentally date someone?

“It’s a long story.” Hayden waved a hand. “Point is that she dumped me and made it clear she doesn’t want a second chance. To keep it simple, I have the worst luck with girls.”

I let out a soft chuckle. “Try me.”

He blinked. “Huh?”

Shoot. What happened to keeping things private? “Sorry.” I swallowed. “But I have bad luck with girls too.” I fiddled with the watch on my wrist, debating whether or not I should give in. At least breadcrumbs of the truth like I’d given Kami.

“Is it Raina?” Hayden asked.

I groaned. “Why does it always have to be Raina?”

“I’m not an idiot, Dallas. Something is happening between you two, and no one is confessing it.

” He held up his hands. “No pressure to confess because I get it, our friend group is practically cursed when it comes to relationships. We should call ourselves the Single Seven or something.” He waved a hand.

“Not that being in love is the most important thing in the world.”

“It’s not.” I looked at my milkshake. “But it definitely changes your life.”

“You’ve been in love before?”

I drew in a sharp breath. Just tell him. Maybe he can even help. He’s known her for years . “Promise not to tell anyone this?”

“Did anyone die?”

“Not yet.”

Hayden zipped his lips.

I took in another breath before spilling to Hayden about the situation with Raina. I left out some timeline stuff, like that I’d known Raina was Chloe right away, but it didn’t make the story any less of a roller coaster. By the end, Hayden’s jaw was below the table, his eyes huge.

“Okay,” he said after I finished. “It’s fair to say you definitely have worse luck in love than me. No wonder you’ve been a total wreck this whole time.”

“Hey, now.” I sighed. “I have no idea how I’m supposed to get myself out of this situation.” I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes. “If I could just stop caring so much. Stop feeling everything so deeply.”

“Listen, I’m clearly not a love whisperer,” Hayden said. “But I know from my experiences that holding back the truth is only going to ruin things in the long run.” He stroked his braids. “You need to tell Raina as soon as possible. Face-to-face. No hiding behind a screen.”

“I don’t know.” I shifted in my seat. “I feel like it’s already too late.”

“Don’t lie to yourself like that.” He put his hands on the table.

“You don’t even have to tell her that you have feelings for her.

You just need to tell her that you’re pen pals.

Shoot, you can even pretend that you just found out if you want to cushion yourself a bit.

If the roles were reversed, how would you feel if you found out your best friend was purposely hiding this from you and then ghosted you without any explanation? ”

“I wouldn’t forgive myself.” I tugged the collar of my shirt. “But that’s the problem. I already messed up enough. I should pretend I just found out like you said or something.”

“Well, you’re going to have to pick your poison.” He took a sip of his milkshake. “And has keeping this a secret really preserved things like you wanted them to? Because it seems like you’re just breaking your own heart for no reason.”

“It’s just . . .” This was getting old, I knew it. I kept racking my brain for excuses, but I knew that no matter what, I’d end up back in the same place.

I’d only been breaking my heart by trying to protect it.

“Just giving some tough love,” Hayden said. “I don’t want to see either one of you get hurt anymore. And while I understand your motives, Raina is my friend, and I don’t want you to keep hurting her.” He swallowed, his eyes drifting away from me.

“I’m going to tell the truth. I promise.” I didn’t know when I was going to do it, but I needed to before it destroyed me from the inside out.

I’d been in the crowd for too long, but it was time to finally step out on stage.