Page 59 of Before We’re More Than Friends (When We Faced the Music #1)

“She shouldn’t have come over after giving Mom the cold shoulder for so long.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “She didn’t reach out after Dad got arrested, but she suddenly wanted to say something now that Mom’s in the hospital. I should be upset.”

“That doesn’t make it right to treat her that way!” Arielle huffed. “Now you’ve probably made the situation even worse. Mrs. Naysmith isn’t the nicest woman, but she does return respect.”

“Someone needed to tell her!” I shot back. “Isn’t it just like it when you lash out at Mom all the time? What’s the difference?”

“The difference is that she was trying to do something good,” she hissed. “We’d finally calmed down, but no, you have to make things worse than they need to be. I know you can’t control your thoughts, but it isn’t hard to control your mouth.”

My eyes stung at her words. “Then what’s your excuse?”

“Would you stop pointing fingers?” She stepped closer to me, nearly getting in my face. “Would it kill you not to be such a?—”

“GIRLS!”

We both snapped our heads to see Nonno standing behind us, hands crossed over his chest.

“You’ve already gone through enough,” he said. “You don’t need to treat others—and each other—like this. And for as long as I’m in this house, I won’t have it.” He pointed in the direction of the kitchen. “Get back in there. And I don’t want to hear another word from either of you.”

When Arielle and I had gotten in fights when we were little, we’d point the finger at each other. We’d shout, “But she was being mean first!” or “but she hurt my feelings!”

Mom and Dad had refused to take that from either of us, and I knew we were too old to play that game with Nonno. Seeing the angry look in his eyes turned my frustration into a mix of hurt and guilt. The last thing I’d wanted was for him to be mad at me.

But neither Arielle nor I apologized as we sat back down at the table. The three of us ate our food in silence, even though the sourness in my stomach killed my appetite. We’d really hit rock bottom.

Around eight thirty, Gracelynn’s face popped up on my screen as my phone buzzed. I sighed before picking up the phone, knowing what I was in for.

“Did you seriously have to do that?” she snapped before I could even open my mouth.

“Hello to you too,” I muttered.

“I loved coming home to my mom being pissed off at me because she thought I’d said something bad about her to you. And because I was the one who told her to bring the flowers and the card.”

My blood ran cold. “It was your idea?” The frustration I’d felt earlier resurfaced for a new reason. Mrs. Naysmith hadn’t even reached out for her own sake? “You made your mom reach out? ”

“I thought you’d appreciate it,” Gracelynn said. “But clearly, I was wrong. I knew you blamed my mom for this whole situation, but did you really have to yell at her like that? I was trying to do something nice for you .”

“You didn’t have to make your mom do something nice,” I fired back. “She can do that on her own if she wants to. You didn’t need to get involved.”

“Well, sometimes we need a push! And for a moment, things were good with us. Now that’s shot again.” Gracelynn blew air out of her nose. “It’s been hard for my mom to reach out because your mom’s addiction reminds her of what happened to Faith.”

“My mom’s addiction shouldn’t be the reason that your mom fell off the face of the earth when my dad was arrested. And you know that.”

“That’s why I’ve been encouraging my mom to make things right for a while now. But all I got was sighs and excuses. Have you done the same with yours?”

“Your mom’s husband didn’t go to jail,” I reminded her. “And I know that if she had, my mom would’ve reached out despite the fight. Yours didn’t.”

“Do you know that? Or are you just saying that because—You know what, forget it. You’re too angry to see that you’re not the only one hurting.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t understand!” I shouted. “Your life hasn’t fallen apart like mine has! And I’m not using that as an excuse. It’s a fact.”

“You’re missing the point,” Gracelynn said. “You’re missing everything.” With that, she hung up on me.

I cursed under my breath. What was up with her? How could she not understand how much the thing with our moms hurt? I had a right to be upset, to call her mom out, but she and Arielle didn’t get it .

No one got it.

To clear my mind, I opened my texts. I had unread messages from Sienna, but I didn’t want to answer them right now.

I was already upset that she hadn’t told me about what was going on in the band.

I had no idea where the boys and I stood, but it probably wasn’t much different. That left only one person to go to.

Raina

Meet me at the dog park? Need to clear my mind

Dallas

Me too, it’s been a day

Be there around nine?

Raina

Sounds good

I looked at my mirror before cringing. My hair was a mess, my face and eyes were red from crying, and the camisole and shorts I’d slept in the night before were far from flattering. I brushed my hair and put on a fitted T-shirt, leggings, and jacket before finding one of my leashes for Penrose.

“Come on, girl,” I said as I hooked her to the leash. “It’s time for another night.”

She barked, her tail wagging as if she knew what she was getting into. Finally leaving this depressing house , I imagined her saying. All this yelling gets on my nerves .

I rubbed behind her ears. “I feel you, girl. I do.”

“I think they finally like each other,” I said as Houston and Penrose attempted to catch the frisbee Dallas had brought. Neither one of them caught it, and they both tried to pick it up from the ground. They bumped noses and exchanged a funny look before Penrose picked up the frisbee.

“I knew they would eventually,” Dallas said as Penrose brought him the frisbee. My heart warmed in my chest. “Houston loved playing with other dogs in Dallas. I bet he misses Toby’s dog, Buster.”

“Aw.” I sucked in a breath. “So, was your day better than mine was?”

“Probably not by much,” he said as he threw the frisbee. “I’m convinced that Hayden hates me now and thinks I have it out for him.” He gave me a summary of the fight they had at Hayden’s house. I hadn’t even known that Hayden and Dallas decided to stay home from school, too.

“I think it’s the end of Like Airplanes,” Dallas finished with a sigh.

“Gosh, Hayden really has his moments.” I shook my head as I threw the frisbee.

This time, Houston caught it in his mouth and brought it over to me.

“I’m sorry this happened. I have no idea what our group is going to be like anymore.

” Our friend group had been through hell in the past few years, but we’d always put up with each other’s crap and stuck it out.

Maybe we’d finally reached our breaking point.

“What’s happened with you?” Dallas asked as he watched me throw the frisbee again.

“My grandpa is staying with us right now,” I said. “That was going well, but then Mrs. Naysmith came to the door and ruined everything.”

“That’s Gracelynn’s mom, right?” Dallas’s eyes widened. “Is it because your mom is in the hospital?”

“Yeah, and I lashed out at her.” I huffed, the cold air making my chest ache.

“And Arielle and Nonno got mad at me for it. Also, it turns out that Gracelynn had the nerve to make her mom send over the flowers and the card. And she acted like I was a jerk for being upset about it.” I explained everything about the fight, the rage in my veins returning.

“Oh.” Dallas bit his lip when I finished, looking down at Houston and Penrose.

“What?” I asked.

“Did you apologize?”

“To who? I don’t need to apologize to anyone.”

“It’s just that it was harsh to lash out at Mrs. Naysmith when she was trying to move things forward.” He threw the frisbee at the dogs. “They both had good intentions.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t be upset?” I didn’t mean to raise my voice, but it happened anyway.

“I understand why you’re upset,” he said. “But it wasn’t right to take it out on everyone else. It reminds me of when my parents fight or Hayden and Caleb?—”

“So you’re blaming me?”

“I’m just trying to make sense of things.” His voice didn’t rise a decibel. “Arielle was right that you shouldn’t have treated Mrs. Naysmith that way. And though I don’t agree with how Gracelynn started with yelling at you on the phone, she does have a reason to be upset too.”

“You don’t understand,” I snapped, loud enough to make Penrose and Houston jump. “Why doesn’t anyone understand where I’m coming from?”

“What I’m saying is that it isn’t any different than how everyone else has lashed out.”

“I’m going through something way worse than everyone else is! You don’t know what it’s like!” As soon as the words flew out of my mouth, I regretted it. Gosh, I sounded like a ten-year-old trying to defend myself.

“You’re right!” Dallas shot back. “I don’t know what it’s like.

I don’t know anything because I’m just the new kid brought into everyone else’s—” He drew in a sharp breath, looking at the dark sky.

“I came here to listen to you, not to be yelled at again.” When Houston gave him his frisbee, he walked over to the bench where his stuff was at. “I’m not a punching bag.”

“Gosh.” I put my head in my hands, regret washing over me. “I just?—”

“It’s already pretty late.” Dallas put Houston back on his leash. “And I have to go back to school tomorrow.”

“Dallas, I’m sorry,” I said, my voice breaking. Why, why, why would you ruin everything! You finally had such a good relationship! “I didn’t want to hurt you. I?—”

“Good night, Raina.” His cold tone reminded me of the disastrous night at the bonfire when he’d told me the truth.

It sounded so freaking final.

“Good night, Dallas,” I said as I watched him walk away with Houston, hating myself for what had just happened.

Penrose looked at me with her huge puppy eyes. What did you do?

“Just screwed everything up like I always do!” I put my head in my hands, trying to control my breathing and racing thoughts.

Could life get any worse right now? Every relationship I had, I managed to screw it up in twenty-four hours.

Disaster followed me wherever I went, and all my efforts meant nothing when the bad only washed them away.

Maybe that was why Dad had screwed up. Why Isabelle ghosted me. Why my friends didn’t tell me things. It wasn’t that I wasn’t enough for them—I was too much.

I looked at Penrose, who looked off at where Dallas and Houston walked away. Sighing, I grabbed her leash from the bench to walk back home.

When she looked up at me with her big eyes, I couldn’t help but say my thoughts out loud. “Why would he ever fall for me?”