Page 57 of Before We’re More Than Friends (When We Faced the Music #1)

Dallas

A ll the lights were out when I arrived home at almost midnight. It made sense because it was a weeknight, but the darkness reminded me of the heaviness in my chest. How hollow this house was.

Mom had told me I didn’t have to go to school tomorrow when I’d texted her about what happened. Gosh, I’d never thought I’d be so upset about missing school. Not because I wanted to go there and face my now ex-bandmates, but because it meant that everything was completely wrong.

At this rate, I was just waiting for the final blow.

When I went into my room and turned on the lights, Houston was waiting for me on my bed. There you are , his big brown eyes said, full of excitement.

“I wish I could be a dog,” I muttered as I gathered my clean pajamas and underwear. “You don’t have to deal with your life falling apart.”

He seemed to pick up on my devastation because he rested his head down. Would music make you feel better?

I shook my head. “Definitely not.”

I jumped in the shower, letting the tears flow as the hot water pelted against my skin. The only images that flashed through my mind were everything bad that had happened. My parents’ marriage falling apart. My band falling apart. My girlfriend’s mom ending up in the hospital.

Why did this all happen now?

Or ever?

After my shower, I put on my pajamas and left the bathroom to see Kami standing in the hallway. Her black hair was in a messy bun, her eyes red and face blotchy as if she’d been crying too.

“Hey,” she said. “Mom told me what happened. Both about her fight with Dad and why you’re back so late.”

“Yeah.” I wiped my nose with my sleeve. “What happened to you?”

“I don’t know.” She glanced at the floor as Houston sat at her feet. She rubbed his head. “Just missing . . . how things used to be. Which is wild because after everything that happened, I wanted nothing more than to never step foot in Dallas again. But I hate that we’re all miserable here.”

A painful sensation squeezed my ribs. “I’m sorry.”

She nodded over to her room. “Want to talk? About anything?”

I looked at her door, about to reject the idea. But it’d been so long since we’d sat and talked about everything. Be best friends and not just two people who lived in the same house.

“Sure,” I said, offering a smile. “I need that right now.”

She smiled back before Houston and I followed her into her room.

Fake plants and fairy lights hung on the peach-brown walls, reminding me of her aesthetic light-blue room from back at home.

Everything else in her room was neat, other than the crumpled tissues on the white comforter.

Even with the minimalism, it had much more personality than my room, which I hadn’t bothered to decorate .

“It looks nice in here,” I said as I sat on the floor.

“Thank you.” Kami collected the tissues and threw them in her floral trash can. “So where do you want to start?”

I sucked in a sharp breath. “I have no idea.”

My eyes fluttered open as sunshine warmed my face. I moaned as I pushed myself off the floor, my back aching. Had life really gotten so low to the point that I could get a full night’s sleep on the floor?

I leaned over and cracked my back while my eyes adjusted to the light. Kami was knocked out on her double bed, Houston sleeping on the sage-green blanket at her feet. My chest warmed at how peaceful they looked.

I went into my room, where my phone was dead on my bed.

I plugged it into my charger and waited for it to boot up before my notifications came through.

I looked at my texts to see if I’d gotten any important updates from Raina or Arielle, but neither one had sent anything.

The only text I had—other than from my parents saying they were going to work—was from Hayden.

Hayden

I’m staying home from school today—come over when you can. We need to talk. About everything.

We sure freaking do.

Dallas

I’m staying home, too. Long night.

Will ten thirty work?

Hayden

K, see you then

True to my word, I knocked on Hayden’s door half an hour later.

After a few seconds, he opened the door and revealed his unkept appearance.

His dark cheeks were splotchy as if he’d been crying, his hair in a navy blue bonnet.

A baggy pajama shirt and matching pants hugged his frame, both looking like they’d seen better days.

“Hey.” Hayden took in my appearance. “Guess neither one of us got dressed.”

I looked down at my white long-sleeved shirt, checkered pajama pants, and black flip-flops. “Yeah.” I brushed a hand through my curls, hoping they weren’t messy. “Does my breath smell bad?”

“No worse than mine.” He gave me a small smile before letting me in the house.

Pictures of his family greeted us in the entryway. Despite living next door to Hayden for a month and a half, I’d never been in here before. The furniture looked lived-in, but the house was tidy. Unlike our house, Hayden’s was only one-story and a bit smaller, but it still felt homey.

“You have a nice home,” I said as he led me to his room down the hall.

“Thank you.” He opened the door to his room, which had dark blue walls covered in band posters, a double bed full of blankets, and notebooks scattered around. A gray bunny sat in a small cage on his dresser. “Sorry it’s little messy in here.”

I cringed at the underwear that peeked out from underneath his bed. “I hope that’s clean.”

“Crap, I thought I got everything.” He took the boxers and threw them into the hamper. “Anyway, this is my place.” He nodded to the bunny in the cage. “This is Grey. I adopted him from the shelter not too long ago.”

“Hello, Grey,” I said, grinning at the cage. Grey made a little squeaky noise. “He’s adorable.”

“I know.” Hayden sat on his bed and patted the spot next to him. “I know yesterday was . . . complicated. Especially with what happened to you and the girls after.”

“Tell me about it,” I muttered as I sat beside him. “It was hell on earth. But that aside, I wish I’d known what was going on with the band before I joined.”

“Listen, I’m sorry we were all so secretive about what was going on behind the scenes.

I really am.” He studied his wall of band posters.

I hadn’t heard of half of the bands on the wall, but it seemed like he drew inspiration from every genre he could.

“The whole situation is beyond complicated, but I really thought we could work things out.”

“What about you and Arielle?” I asked. “What was going on with that?”

“She thinks I let her join the band so I could rub it in Eddie’s face.

Which wasn’t true.” He bit his lip as if there were more to the statement.

“You know, Oliver and Sienna weren’t sure about having her in the band as backup, but I didn’t want to let her down.

I hate how much pain she’s been in.” He hugged his knees to his chest. “It rips my heart out.”

“Have you been honest with her about everything? Including that you want a second chance?”

His lashes fluttered. “How do you know I want a second chance?”

“Raina looks at me the same way you look at her.”

Hayden sighed. “It’s never going to happen. She thinks I’m selfish, just like Caleb does.” He grunted. “The audacity. I’ve put up with so much of his crap for years. Oliver and I have stayed even when Gracelynn and Rory left him. ”

“I still have no idea who Rory is,” I said, trying to remember if Raina had mentioned him in any letters.

“He and Caleb were best friends since diapers. Until Gracelynn happened.” He scoffed. “Gosh, throw a girl in a mix, and everyone loses their minds.”

“Girls seem to do that to us.” I gave him a small smile. “Though I don’t think we’re any better for them.”

Hayden laughed. “True. Anyway, I wanted to support Caleb, but it turned into this big fight and . . .” He groaned. “The whole thing makes my head hurt.”

“I understand. But I still think you should’ve been more supportive of Caleb instead of stressing out.”

“I just want everything to turn out right,” Hayden said, a flicker of defense in his voice. “Why couldn’t everyone else see things from my perspective? Isn’t that making them the selfish ones?”

“I’m not taking sides,” I said, knowing where this conversation was going. “But I do think you should take time to think things through.”

“But I have thought this band through. Even back when I met you, I knew you were perfect for it. Perfect for?—”

“Wait.” My stomach dropped. “Did—You only wanted to be friends with me so I could be in the band?”

Hayden’s eyes widened. “W-What do you mean?”

Ice spread through my veins. “Did you only become my friend to get me in the band? To get you what you want?” I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but had it been true? Was that the only reason he’d been so welcoming?

“That’s bullcrap.” He let out an awkward laugh but didn’t meet my eyes.

“Then why did you ask me to be in the band?”

“I already told you. You’re a good singer and my friend and . . .” He looked around the room as if he were lying. “I don’t know. I thought it’d be fun.”

“Hayden.”

“I’m telling the truth!” He shot up from his bed.

“Why does nobody believe me?” He paced around the room while moving his hands at the speed of lightning.

“For crying out loud, I wanted to succeed. Yes, I wanted to get back at Joker Avenue, to show up Lana when she said I couldn’t do it, to freaking achieve anything!

But I also wanted to do it with people I care about.

People I enjoy spending time with. Does that really make me a bad guy? ”

“You can’t lash out about everything, Hayden,” I snapped. “And at the end of the day, it’s not just your band. There are six other people to consider. Six. And it doesn’t seem like you considered me at first.”

“What do you know?” he shot back. “Did all your letters to Raina make you think you suddenly know all about us? You don’t know anything, Dallas Friar. You don’t know anything about me, or my friends, or?—”

“You’re right.” I got up from his bed. “Because if I did know, I would’ve steered clear.” I swung open the door. “I was sad when the band broke up, but maybe it was a good thing. Maybe we all needed to face the music.”

Hayden flinched and crossed his arms. “You’re saying that because you’re mad.”

“Maybe you’re just saying what you’re saying because you’re mad, too. But it still hurts, Hayden.” I looked him in the eyes, trying to keep myself from shaking. “It freaking hurts.”

Before he could open his mouth, I slammed his door and ran out of the house, tears trickling down my cheeks. I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t chase after me. There wasn’t anything left to say.