Page 28 of Before We’re More Than Friends (When We Faced the Music #1)

“Sorry I’m late, everyone.” Mrs. Bennett walked into the classroom with her clacking heels, decked in her usual overkill of makeup. “I had a meeting during lunch period.” She put her purse on her desk. “Let me do attendance, and we’ll jump right into today’s lab.”

“What are you sorry for?” I asked Dallas.

“Um, I’m just sorry if I did anything wrong in the past.” He swallowed, collecting his notebook and pens. “Thanks again for the gifts.”

“Uh, you’re welcome.”

He clearly was going to say something else instead, but I wasn’t going to push him. I couldn’t possibly think of what he needed to apologize to me for. Had he told the others about our conversation on Saturday?

During our lab, Dallas seemed more anxious than I was, and I didn’t think it had anything to do with the lab itself. He kept dropping the equipment every few seconds, stumbling over his words as he read the instructions.

And I thought I’d been miserable to do labs with.

“Okay, what’s your deal?” I asked after he nearly spilled the beaker. “You’re going to cause something bad to happen.” Gosh forbid that anything bad did happen, my focus would be gone for the rest of the day.

“I’m sorry!” Dallas exclaimed, and everyone turned toward us, eyes wide with suspicion. Great, here comes another scene.

“What’s wrong?” Mrs. Bennett asked, walking from another table to ours.

“Are you having trouble with the lab?” She looked at me with the look of pity that my science teachers usually gave me.

All my teachers knew about my OCD. Of course she’d think I was having problems when I wasn’t the one visibly shaking.

“It’s my fault,” Dallas said. “I’m just anxious.”

Because of me. He was always anxious around me. And it didn’t make any sense. Had I scarred him that badly from the Saturn Frenzy? Or was it the thing he wasn’t telling me?

“If you need to step out of the classroom, let me know,” Mrs. Bennett said with concern in her voice.

“I’m going to use the bathroom.” Dallas practically sprang out of his seat and bolted for the hall pass.

I glared at the beaker in front of me, trying to control my flaring temper. It didn’t make sense how I’d given him that gift, and he suddenly turned into a nervous wreck. What the heck could an almost stranger possibly be keeping from me?

What’s wrong with him?

“What’s wrong with him?” Arielle asked as she finished checking her makeup in the car mirror at a red light. “I’m starting to think he’s secretly in love with you or something.”

I scoffed. “That’s BS. It’s just kind of weird that one moment, he’s fine, and the next, he’s all jittery. And it only seems to happen when he’s around me.”

“Maybe when you slammed into him at the Saturn Frenzy , he was struck by your blue eyes and beautiful brown locks,” she said in a whimsical voice. “Suddenly, he was stricken with something unfamiliar in his chest. Or other areas.”

I shoved her, nearly causing her to drift off the road.

“Hey!” She shot a glare at me.

“Sorry.” I swallowed, images of a car accident filling my mind. “Dallas did say he liked my eyes. But if he liked me for my looks, he’d like you instead of the girl who embarrassed him.”

“I don’t know, some people love banter.” She sighed. “I’m just glad school is over. Only three more days until the weekend.”

“Same.” We’d managed to survive the first day back, but Arielle hadn’t been on the verge of losing her sanity like me. She strutted down the halls like she wasn’t breaking inside.

Another thing she was better at than me.

“How do you do it?” I asked.

She blinked. “How do I banter with guys?”

“No, how do you act like you have everything together? I struggle to even crack a smile.”

She bit her lip, keeping her eyes on the road. “It makes things easier.” Her soft tone made my heart twist in my chest.

“You just pull it off so naturally,” I said quietly. “You radiate sunshine while I radiate rainy days.”

“We’re not the same person,” she said, focusing on the road. “We display and handle our pain differently. But it doesn’t take away from the fact we’re both hurting.”

I swallowed. “It was just a thought.”

“You know, the way you’re so real about your feelings is one of the things I love about you.”

“Really?” Being raised to handle all my emotions privately, I didn’t like how the facade I put on often crumbled. Enough was already going on in my brain, which made pretending to be okay exhausting .

Arielle nodded. “You’re better at wearing your heart on your sleeve. Especially around the people you love.”

“I don’t enjoy showing my heart to people.” Being vulnerable always came with a sense of discomfort, even with someone I trusted. The only person I’d ever had an easy time being open to so quickly was Alex.

Maybe that was why he’d ghosted me.

“You think I do?” Arielle fiddled with her visor to block out the sun. “You think I like crying and talking about the things that destroy me inside?”

“I know you don’t.” Arielle had to be in a very high emotional state to talk about her feelings, but that mostly consisted of arguing with our parents at the top of her lungs instead of a healthy conversation. And even then, she hated for any of us to see her cry. She’d always been that way.

“We’re both grieving, and it’s an ugly process. But what matters is that we stick together.”

“The moral of every kids’ show,” I said in a humorous voice. “Let’s hold hands as we walk into the shelter, shall we?”

She laughed, her eyes lighting up. “You know what I’m trying to say. You’re better with words than I am. For crying out loud, you still write freaking letters to Alex.”

My heart dipped. “Not anymore.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What happened?”

“He moved to Boulder Valley and stopped answering my messages.” Hurt cut into my chest as I thought about how close I’d been to telling Alex my real name.

Throughout our friendship, he’d never explained why he didn’t want to know personal details about me.

Details pen pals and online friends knew about each other well before the six-year mark. “I think I did something wrong.”

“Really? Oh, Raina, I’m sorry.” Arielle parked in our usual parking space at the animal shelter before killing the engine. “You guys have talked consistently since fifth grade.”

“I know. It’s just . . .” I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. “I just don’t understand why. It’s not like I can search Boulder Valley for him when I’ve never even seen a picture of his face.”

“The fact that he never wanted to share any information with you is honestly concerning in the first place.” Arielle bit her lip. “Where did he used to live? Texas?”

“Dallas. They moved at the end of January.”

Something flickered across Arielle’s face, but I couldn’t discern what it was. “Interesting.”

I blinked. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.” She got out of the car, and I followed her. “Want to lock arms and skip into the shelter?”

“Sure.” I smiled, even though I wished she’d tell me what she thought about the Alex situation.

She grinned before locking her arm with mine, and we skipped into the shelter together, closer than we’d been in a long time.

“Good afternoon, Leanne.” I walked into the office, grinning at the sight of a beautiful black kitten with yellow-green eyes. “Who’s this?”

“Good afternoon, Raina.” Leanne rubbed the kitten’s back. “This is Moonlight. We rescued her and her sister yesterday, but she hurt her paw. I’m taking care of her until it heals.”

Moonlight looked at me with her big eyes and let out a meow. My heart turned into a puddle. “Aw, she has the cutest meow.” I batted my eyes at her, and she meowed again and reached out her good paw. “I’m already in love with her. ”

“Me too.” Leanne laughed. “I missed you last week.”

“Yeah.” I sat down and stared at my lap. “You already know why I haven’t been here. Unless you live under a rock and only listen to music twenty-four seven like I do.”

She nodded, sympathy growing in her gaze. “Dallas told me about it. I’m very sorry about your dad.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You heard it from Dallas?”

“He talked about it at dinner last Tuesday. He seemed worried for you guys.”

An unfamiliar feeling pinched my heart. “I didn’t know that.”

She frowned. “It’s sad to see your friend go through such a hard time.”

But we barely even know each other .

“I just don’t like that it’s all over the media,” I said, not knowing what else to say. “My dad cared so much about his image, yet he still messed it up.” Shoot, I was saying too much. This was only my second time talking to Leanne.

Leanne nodded again. “Parents can really challenge you in the worst ways. I’ll never understand some of the decisions my parents made either.” Moonlight let out another deep meow, and she rubbed her forehead. “That’s why I care more for animals.” She sighed. “Sorry, I’m making this about me.”

“No, I’d much rather hear you talk.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.”

I laughed, despite the cloud of heaviness growing between us. “I’m not. I don’t feel like wrapping my head around what’s happened.”

“I understand.” Leanne gave me a small smile. “But if you ever need someone to talk to about it, I’m always here.”

“Thank you.” I smiled back and looked at Moonlight. “How has the job been going?”

“It’s been going well.” Leanne rubbed Moonlight’s belly.

Moonlight reached a paw out at her. “I’ve gotten into the swing of things pretty quickly and already feel at home.

” She bit her lip. “But sometimes I still wonder if I made the right choice, moving my family over here after living in Dallas our entire lives.”

“It must’ve been an important place to you if you named your son after it.”

She giggled. “It was my husband’s idea, I promise. I wanted to name him Alexander.”

A thought came to my mind as I thought about Alex, but I quickly killed it. Just a coincidence . Don’t give yourself something else to worry about when you know he lives somewhere else . “How did he win?”

“According to him, Alexander is too common of a name. He wanted something less common but still masculine, and since we were both born and raised in Dallas, he named our son that.” She shook her head. “As if he didn’t already give Kami a boy’s name. He even named the dog.”

I laughed. “Maybe you can name your next child.”

Leanne scoffed. “Please, no more children. Having two kids fourteen months apart was a nightmare and a half.”

“That’s why I’m not having any kids.” I looked at Moonlight again, whose eyes were fluttering shut. “Unless they are animals. In that case, I’m having a bunch of them.”

“That was my dream until we got our dog, and my husband nearly stroked out at all the damage he did as a puppy.” She sighed. “Something I like about this move was that I got to call the shots for once, you know?”

I nodded, thinking about the power imbalance in my house.

Dad had always called the shots, though it wasn’t like Mom tried to do much about it.

“I understand. But you’re a boss woman.” I pointed to the pink GIRL BOSS plaque on her desk.

“You deserve this opportunity regardless of what others think. ”

“Thank you.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, you didn’t come here to listen to all my problems when you have ones of your own.”

“Please.” I waved a hand. “Like I said, I’d rather listen to you talk than remember everything wrong with my life.”

She grinned. “ Now I know you’re not being sarcastic. But still, I’d rather talk about animals instead.”