Page 61 of Before We’re More Than Friends (When We Faced the Music #1)

Raina

I t wasn’t productive of me to stay lost in my thoughts, but I couldn’t stop myself from staying in bed all of Wednesday. I didn’t have a single meal with Nonno and Arielle, knowing they were still upset with me. Heck, I was upset with myself too. But I was too stubborn to apologize.

It was wild how someone could go through the same thing as you, but you still felt so freaking alone.

Thursday morning, my chest tightened as I tried to breathe through my terrible dreams I’d already forgotten. My eyes fluttered open to see Penrose sitting on me.

“Seriously?” I managed to say. “Why?”

Penrose only looked at me with puppy eyes. Good morning, sunshine.

I sighed and pushed her off me. It was rare that I succeeded the first time, but Penrose clearly wasn’t in the mood to fight today. “Man, you’re hard to love sometimes,” I muttered as I sat up.

Penrose only stuck her tongue out at me. You wish I were .

I glanced at the clock. It was already past eleven, which beat my former wake-up time of two in the afternoon. Making progress.

I went into my en suite bathroom to brush my hair and wash the dried tears off my face. As I walked down the stairs, I noticed murmuring coming from the kitchen. I assumed that maybe Nonno was talking to himself while making an early lunch, but I was surprised to see who else was there.

“Mom?” My chest expanded as I saw Mom sitting at the table. She wore her usual around-the-house clothes, her tan skin glowing again. Without a second thought, I ran over to hug her.

“Oh, Raina.” Mom squeezed me in the hug, rubbing my back. “I missed you so much. I wish you had visited me.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t visit.” Tears burned at the back of my eyes as I sat beside her. I’d been too busy being upset at everyone else to even think about seeing her. “I’m a bad daughter.”

“Don’t say that, princess.” Mom broke out of the hug and wiped her eyes. “It was my fault for slipping into my old habits. I was finally doing better, but . . .” She sighed. “Your grandpa and I were just talking about how to move forward from this.”

“I’ll give you girls time to catch up,” Nonno said with a small smile before ducking out of the kitchen.

“Don’t eavesdrop like how I used to do with your private conversations,” Mom called.

Nonno’s laugh came from a distance. “I won’t.”

Mom smiled and faced me again. “Besides missing me, how have the past few days been?”

“Some of the worst days of my life. Everyone is pissed off at me.” My gaze went to the vase of flowers that stood on the kitchen counter. “Did you know that Jenn—er, Mrs. Naysmith came over?”

“Nonno told me what happened. ”

Shame coursed through me as I stared at my lap. “Not my best moment.”

“I’m not happy with how you treated her.” She leaned in closer to me as if Nonno were listening to our conversation. “I’m surprised she didn’t rip the flowers to shreds when you called her Jennifer.”

I snorted. “She’s too classy to do that. But her voice rose a few octaves.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry I acted that way.”

“Don’t apologize to me.” Mom straightened her posture. “Apologize to her the next time you see her.”

“I will,” I promised. “Gracelynn’s also pissed off at me for yelling at her mom. So is Arielle. Oh, and Dallas.” I wasn’t sure which one hurt the most, but Dallas’s anger toward me made the butterflies in my stomach wilt.

“I’m sorry about them.” Mom sighed. “But I think Arielle is also mad at me too. She woke up when I got home around an hour ago and barely said two words to me.” She fiddled with her wedding ring. “I’d finally been gaining her trust. But I flushed that progress away.”

“I know,” I said, knowing it would take Mom through hell and back to get Arielle to trust her again. I still didn’t know where my trust lay with her either. “We can deal with her being mad at us together.”

She gave me a sad smile. “So what else has happened with you and your friends? Arielle said something about no longer being in Battle of the Bands.”

My heart pinched. “Everything went to crap with that, too.” I explained what had gone down with Hayden, Caleb, Oliver, and Sienna.

The boys had barely texted me—they hoped Mom would be okay, but they’d said nothing else.

Sienna had texted me more, but I was still upset with her—with the boys, too, but more specifically with her because she’d been my best friend first—for not letting me know what was going on.

That storm was the lowest on the list of problems for now.

“Oh, gosh,” Mom said once I finished, her eyes wide. “That’s a lot to unpack.”

“We need a freaking airplane for it,” I muttered.

“I have no idea what to do about anything. I feel like everything is out of my control but still my fault, even the things I didn’t mess up myself.

” Maybe it was my OCD, or maybe it was normal to feel this way when everything had gone wrong. I wouldn’t know.

“How do I make things right with everyone?” I asked. “How do I fix at least some of this mess?”

“There’s no guarantee that it can be fixed,” Mom said as she put her hand on mine, her touch warm. “But you can apologize to everyone and try to make things right. If they don’t accept it, that’s something for them to deal with.”

“I wish there were something I could do to fix everything.” I rubbed my finger along the diamonds on her wedding ring. “If I work hard enough, if I try to be better?—”

“The best you can give is your best, Raina.” She sighed, brushing the hair out of my eyes. “I wish my best were better than what it is, but I do what I can. Apologize and mean it.”

“But I don’t want to keep making the same mistakes. I don’t want to be . . .” Like you and Dad . I knew the words were too hurtful to say out loud, but I could tell from the way Mom’s face pinched that she knew where I was getting at.

“I believe in your best, Raina,” she said softly. “And I love you at your worst.”

I offered her a smile, my insides warming. “I love you too, Mom.” I gave her a hug. “And I hope we’ll see each other at our best again.”

I spent all afternoon talking to Mom. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d talked for so long. Despite the heaviness that weighed in the house, I had such a fun time with her.

Before dinner, I knocked on Arielle’s door, hoping she’d give me a chance to talk with her. Was she still on good terms with the others? Was she still upset with Hayden?

Had she been crying while wrapped in her sheets like I had?

To my surprise, I heard her mutter, “Come in.” I opened the door to see her sitting on her bed, tissues waded up at her feet. That answered my question.

“I just wanted to apologize,” I said, sitting on one of her pink chairs. “For Tuesday night. I shouldn’t have lashed out like that.”

She sighed. “I forgive you.”

“Really?” That had come easily. The Arielle I knew took a while to drop her grudges. If she ever did.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” she said flatly.

“Sorry, but I expected you to be mad at me for at least a full week.”

“Please.” Her eyes locked with mine, her gaze heavy.

“I’m sorry, too. I understand why you were upset about Mrs. Naysmith bringing flowers.

” She stroked her long waves. “But you were also right about how it’s no different than how I treat Mom.

” She studied a painting of a Pink Rose butterfly on the pink wall, one that Mom had bought her when she was little.

“I hadn’t realized it until you said it.

Mom isn’t perfect, but sometimes I’m harsher on her than I need to be.

She’s battling something challenging I don’t fully understand. ”

“She is.” I gave her a sad smile. “And thank you.”

She extended her arms, and I went over to her bed to hug her. I lost my balance and fell on top of her wads of tissues. I shrieked before throwing one off my arm, which landed in Arielle’s lap. We both laughed and resumed our hug, tears burning in my eyes.

We hadn’t always been best friends, but I knew that whatever storm came our way, we’d get through it together.

There wasn’t anything I wanted to face without my other half.

After dinner, I tried contacting all my friends. While Sienna and the boys answered their texts, Gracelynn left me on delivered. Guess it’d take much longer for her to forgive me.

All that was left for now was to deal with Dallas.

Gosh, it was terrible to have my own boyfriend mad at me. Was this how he felt when I’d spent that week pissed off at him?

Was he still even my boyfriend?

With my blood pumping in my ears, I shot him a text.

Raina

I’m sorry for what happened on Tuesday. Can you meet me at the dog park? Bring Houston and your songwriting notebook. I promise I won’t screw it up this time.

After a few minutes, I figured he’d probably ignore me. I scrolled through social media, out of touch with what was going on in the jewelry industry, when a text from Dallas popped up.

Dallas

I’ll be there at eight thirty if that’s okay.

A hopeful smile spread across my face.

Raina

Perfect

See you there

I love you

I thought he’d finished responding to me, but one last text came through.

Dallas

Love you too

Nerves fluttered in my stomach as I walked Penrose around the huge park for the second time. At any moment, our legs would give out.

And it was only eight thirty-two.

When Penrose sat on the ground during our lap, I made her get up. I sat on the closest bench while she sat in the grass.

Every few moments, I checked my phone. Dallas wouldn’t stand me up, would he? He wouldn’t have gotten my hopes up if he didn’t want to see me.

I was about to text Dallas when two shadows, a tall one and a small one, appeared in the distance.

I almost jumped out of my skin, sweat running down my back.

Gosh, I probably smelled and looked like a pig.

I hadn’t put any makeup on to cover my eye bags, and I’d picked the most unflattering clothes I owned, a worn-out tee and loose jeans.

The mid-March air had no problem reminding me I’d forgotten to put on a jacket.